


The Wings of the Fallen

by dr33g



Series: Faerie Tales [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Abuse Mentions, Albino Dave, Albino Vantases, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, F/F, F/M, Fairystuck, High School AU, M/M, Multi, Suicide mention
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-05-10 09:00:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 43,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5579421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dr33g/pseuds/dr33g
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All the trolls are fairies and they protect humans. The ancestors work at the high school they all attend and shit goes down. Will probably have multiple endings. Basically a fic to show the world how great Eridirk can be! I don't care if the interactions are OOC, I just want to write this, okay?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Faerie Who Was Fucked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this is kinda just background to the story and then I'll start it up. Sorry it's really choppy! Transitions are hard when nothing is connecting to the two so I just kinda press enter and start something else. Also, again, this is probably super OOC. I JUST WANT TO WRITE A FIC FOR ERIDIRK OK

Well, he was fucked.

Why, you ask? Well, she had just blurted out a huge secret, he had damaged his relationship with the one person who enjoyed his company in a way that no friend can, she just broke the biggest rule in faerie society, and his dad was the police.

Yeah, he was fucked.

How did this happen? What's the rule? Why is the rule in place?

Honestly, reader, I have no fucking idea.

Let's listen to the story and see if we can find out.

-

The Fae have one purpose: to watch over the mortals that live near the portal to their home. They guard the humans, as the magic that leaks through can lead to tragic things. Faeries start out with the stereotypical faerie wings, looking like eye shaped clear sandpaper. Once they grow up, they gain beautiful butterfly wings. There is a caste system, the color of your wings. Six mutant faeries are currently living, two with bird wings instead of faerie/butterfly wings, three who are albino, with one who is ashamed, one who uses it to manipulate others, and one who doesn't care, and one without wings. They play a part in our story, but the two characters we follow aren't these six. One is a human desperate to make someone smile, and the other is a teenage faerie in the second highest caste (He's the one who's fucked). In the faerie society, there are no genders. Every faerie has both gonads. They've adopted the genders from human society fairly well, but certain faeries, like our teenager who's fucked, had to find more abstract ones to fit in. Our teenager is gender fluid, but tends to prefer masculine pronouns to those who aren't very good at switching, but if they can, she likes to have them switch between masculine and feminine.

Her name is Eridan Ampora, and boy is he fucked.

The biggest rule the Empress has put in place is no relations between a faerie and a human. But Eridan has fallen  _hard_ for the one she was assigned to. Dirk Strider, a year older, with pointy sunglasses and fluffy blonde hair, has somehow found a young faerie vying for his affections. He is the only being who has see Eridan smile. It was an accident, but Eridan was watching Dirk sleep (creepy, I know, but required at least once a month) and fell asleep on the job. He dreamt of good things. Dirk woke up and saw the most pure and radiant smiling face. Eridan woke up, looked around without noticing Dirk had woken up, and continued her watch. Dirk was baffled. First, why was the world's crankiest, angriest, and most likely person to throw a temper tantrum smiling? Second, WHY WAS HE WATCHING HIM SLEEP? He was curious, so he began to watch. He noticed certain people always lingering around others. Certain people always wore winter clothing, even in the unbeatable heat. He began charting these things, trying to figure out why. That was only a secondary goal. His main goal, even if he doesn't realize it, is to see that blissful smile find a home on the faerie's face (and for him to be the reason it's there). 

On Eridan's side of things, her dreams have never been good before or since.

Other than Eridan, there were 23 other Fae assigned to humans in his high school. 11 were in his grade, 12 were in the grade above. The adults, meaning they had their butterfly wings, were either teachers or they worked in the faerie homeland. The Empress was the principal. He was somewhat friends with those in his grade, and she knew a few of the older ones because one of them was her older brother, but he was kinda a loner, mostly because she was a powder keg of emotion. At the drop of a hat, she could throw a temper tantrum that gave every child a run for their money. So people usually kept their distance. 

When Eridan realized that she wanted to spend every waking moment with Dirk, she realized she was fucked. But he had a feeling that a few others had fallen into the same trap as him. He saw that Karkat would act much more calm and less shouty around Dave, Dirk's younger brother, and Sollux seemed to maybe perhaps like both Karkat and Dave, but Dave was the worry, being human. Feferi was enamored with Jane and Kanaya was very nervous around Rose. But otherwise, they seemed to follow that dumb rule. No one could do anything, except Feferi. She was the heiress, but no heiress has defeated the Empress in thousands of years, and maybe when Feferi found the reason for the rule, she would choose to keep it. So he was stuck wishing that his wings would disappear and he could be by Dirk's side for the rest of time. Or Dirk somehow gaining wings. But neither were going to happen, so he was stuck crying herself to sleep.

-

Dirk had charted almost every pair in the school, other than who was being followed and who was the follower, but he noticed a few patterns. Half of the people were all living within a mile or two of this creepy forest. The forest was vast, but a few trees made this path a few hundred feet out, almost like a path. It was creepy as hell. He looked in the school directory for the addresses of the other half, but they were all fake. This gave him a clue about who was doing the following. But why were these people being targeted? He called up his cousin Roxy to help him brainstorm. She arrived a few minutes later, being his neighbor and all. 

After walking in, saying hi to her uncle Joseph, and giving Dave a huge hug, Roxy sat down next to Dirk as he explained his findings. "So, all the kids being followed, they live near us?"

He nodded. "The ones we know are the Harley-English's, the Crocker-Egbert's, the Strider's, and the Lalonde's, the last two being our family of course. The others I don't know very well, but they are being followed."

"And the ones following all have fake addresses?"

"I'm pretty sure. All point into the center of the forest, which makes no sense. They also all tend to wear really padded clothing, all the time, except one. And most of them have a weird speech thing, not necessarily an impediment, but weird."

"Example?"

"Well, you know Cronus? The Ampora brother in our grade?"

"You mean the creepy perv who likes Harry Potter? Yeah, I know him."

"He has the weird "w" and "v" things. And Mituna definitely has speech issues."

She looked thoughtful for a moment. "Hm. Strange. Have you found the motive yet?"

He shook his head. "No. I want to. But I found something else." She looked interested. "A long time ago, this area was really prone to suicides." 

"Really?"

"Until about the 1960's the people living near Alternia Forest, which, then was called Beforus Woods, were all really depressed and suicidal, some becoming insane. Weird, don't you think?"

"Ya! Almost as if something supernatural were going on!" He scoffed. "Come on! It's a possibility!"

"Just like the possibility that I have a head made of cake. When will you realize the supernatural aren't real? That's kinda the point."

She made a pouty face. "Well, I think it's real. But anyway, I came over for a different reason than to argue. Have you figured out the person following me?" He held up his chart and pointed to her name. "Latula! You can't be serious! She's super rad and is my friend!"

He began telling the evidence. "She walks you home, she almost never leaves your side, and I've seen her helmet reflector things in my window on some nights. I think she really is the person following you. Be happy it's someone you trust. I know others are followed by people they hate. Just imagine Cronus following you."

Roxy shuddered. "You're right. That'd be a nightmare. I'm glad Latula is my... guardian sounds cool so I'll go with that. Latula and I are buds! She'd never hurt me. I bet she has a reason. I bet they all do."

"I hope so. I mean, the younger Ampora brother and I don't know each other, so having a stranger be my 'guardian' is kinda creepy. You really are lucky getting a friend."

With that Roxy's eyes brightened. She had an idea. "Why don't you hang out with him? He may seem to be a whiny piss baby, but he seems to hang out with KK, and Dave thinks KK is cool." She winked at the word "cool". It was a known fact in the Strilonde households that Dave and Karkat had some romantic tension. Meaning they heard Dave whine about him constantly and Karkat almost never left his side, so they put two and two together. 

Dirk put on a fake smile. "Brilliant idea! Hang out with the kid whose dad gives out so many detentions he has a limit per day, is greedier that Jabba the Hut, and brings an assault rifle to school!"

"No, really! I think he's lonely! He has KK, but otherwise doesn't hang out with anyone. Plus, he is kinda cute~" She winks. Another known fact was that although Eridan was his guardian, he also was the kid who would go out with anyone. The kid was desperate. Then again, so was Dirk. His first romantic encounter went pretty poorly. Dirk wasn't that desperate but he was open minded. "It'd be a great opportunity to make a friend, or discover something more~" Dirk rolled his eyes. "He might tell you information if he trusted you."

He sighed. "Fine. I'll make an attempt. But, if it goes poorly, I will never speak to Eridan again."

"That's a little harsh! My first encounter with Jane was bad, but now we're best buddies!"

"FINE. I'll make an attempt. If and when it goes poorly, I'll try again. If and when those go poorly, I will avoid Eridan as best as I can afterward."

"That's fair. But anyway, earlier you said one doesn't wear padded clothing. Who?"

"Tavros Nitram doesn't. I know he follows because his address is fake and his brother Rufioh wears more padded clothing than everyone else. It seems to run in the family, one being in our grade, one being in the grade below."

Roxy thought about it a bit. "Wait, who's Rufioh?"

"The dude who decided to cheat on Japanese maniac with the sweaty mechanic." Damara and Horuss weren't that bad, but Dirk was exaggerating to get the point across.

"Wait, that idiot? Is his younger brother similar?"

Dirk shook his head. "Tavros doesn't have the confidence. He's actually a pretty sweet guy I hear. Unfortunately, that leads to some people taking advantage of him." Cough cough VRISKA cough cough. "The kid has had an even worse romantic escapade then mine."

"Aw! Poor kid. I'll make an effort to reach out to him."

"If you want to, you may. But I think we should focus on Project Guardian Angel for now."

"That's a fun name for the mission. Let's do it!" And the two cousins sat down, commence some research finding, and modified charts. All the while the X-Files theme was secretly playing in the background.

-

Eridan also had a mission he was determined to complete, but she had just come up with the idea that day. Project Forbidden was him trying to find out if the others had fallen for humans. Karkat, Sollux, Feferi, and Kanaya were the targets. He flew over to Kar's house for his first victim. He knocked, waited, and then Kankri opened the door while typing on his phone. The stark white hair still freaked her out sometimes. 

"Hey, I'm here for Karkat?" Kankri stepped away. He was probably busy on some Reddit page typing about triggers, and yet still being really offensive and awful. The dude is a huge hypocrite. Enough about Kankri, on to Project Forbidden! Eridan knocked on Karkat's bedroom door, heard a shout, and walked in. Karkat was on his bed fiddling with his wings.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT." Karkat has a way of screaming absolutely everything.

"I just w-wanna hang out if you w-wanna."

"SURE. WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?" Karkat turned to Eridan, looking bored.

"I w-wanna talk about the humans. Not necessarily the ones w-we protect but the humans."

"YOU PROTECT THE OLDER STRIDER, DON'T YOU?"

Eridan nodded. "Yours is the younger Harley ain't it?"

"YEAH. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT?"

Eridan looked nervous. _i_ _f i ask, w-will it be super obvious? w-will kar think i'm tryin to turn him in or somethin?_ She took a deep breath. "Do you hawe a crush on any humans?" Her face tensed when she saw Karkat's reaction.

"WHY DO YOU ASK?" Karkat looks very unnerved by this.

"Uh, just w-wonderin. Look, I'm not tryin to turn you in if you do, in fact..." Eridan swallowed. "I may or may not have a crush on one..." Karkat's eyes widened. Eridan flushed.  _should i hawe said that?_ "I mean... pshhhhhhh no I don't that's against the rules..." Karkat motioned for Eridan to close the door. He did.

Once the door was closed, Karkat whisper-yelled, "WHAT THE FUCK?! IF ANYONE ELSE FINDS OUT YOU ARE FUCKED."

"I know-w. But, there are a few-w fae w-who I feel may be in the same boat and I think w-we should all be in a secret club or somethin. I thought maybe you w-were one of them but if I'm w-wrong then w-would you just help out?"

Karkat sighed. "NO, YOU GUESSED CORRECTLY. SOMEHOW, THE YOUNGER STRIDER HAS FOUND HIMSELF IN MY MIND. I LIKE YOUR IDEA. IT'D BE A SAFE SPACE FOR ALL OF US TO TALK ABOUT OUR FEELINGS AND SHIT. WHO ARE THE OTHERS?"

"Um, Sol, Fef, and Kan."

"OK, I UNDERSTAND FEFERI AND KANAYA, BUT SOLLUX?"  _should i tell him that sol might hawe a crush on him and dave? i w-wont just to be sure sol doesn't flip his shit_  

Eridan took a moment, and then said, "Just trust me w-with this one, okay? Sol might hawe a crush on a human."

"FINE. I TRUST YOU. BUT ANYWAY, WHAT SHOULD THE CLUB BE CALLED? AND IT CAN'T HAVE THE WORD SECRET OR SOME SHIT IN IT'S NAME BECAUSE THAT'S JUST OBVIOUS."

"Hm. How-w about 'The W-Wings of the Fallen', but w-without my stutter?"

"SURE. SOUNDS MYSTERIOUS."

"Then it's a deal." Eridan stuck his hand out. Karkat rolled his eyes, got off his bed, and shook it.

"SURE. DEAL." And with that, it had begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the ideas of Latula and Roxy being BFF's from a submission on homestuck-ff-rarepairs.tumblr.com !


	2. Complunchment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lunch is supposed to be the best subject.  
> For Eridan, it was the best hour of his life.  
> For Dirk, weeeeeeell let's just say it didn't go as he imagined it would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3 KUDOS ALREADY???? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! AND 24 HITS. (not sure if that means 21 people read it and hated it or just started it and didn't finish but whatever) Also, because I want to show both characters thought processes, I'm going to write it from both of their perspectives! It will break from Eridan's perspective and restart in Dirk's. Also! I've come up with REASONS for the OOC stuff, well some of it at least. Can't tell you guys why but I promise one of the endings has it! Also! pt 2. I probably would've gotten this out to you guys yesterday but I was banned from the computer! Hopefully my laptop will be fixed that way I can't be banned from using the one room with the computer in it!

Eridan had a ton of fruit on his plate, because faeries eat mostly flowers and fruit. Unfortunately, the school cafeteria doesn't sell violet nectar, so she went with the next best thing. Plums! There were other things too, like apples, strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, avocado, and other things, like bread and soup so he didn't stand out, but plums were the most prominent. Most schools didn't provide this shit, but because the Empress was the principal, she knew she needed to provide these things to keep her subjects well fed. Just as he was about to eat his first plum, Dirk Strider sat directly across from him. She froze. _w-what the fuck???????????????? i w-would understand if it w-was dawe because kar w-would be w-with him w-what i dont understand is dirk motherfuckin strider just ploppin his ass directly in front of me w-when w-we hawe newer talked before like seriously i hawe a huge crush on this dude and oh shit i hawe a huge crush on this dude_ It hit him like a brick wall. For some reason, it hadn't occurred to him that the dude he had a crush on was sitting across from him, not just some random person. She blushed furiously, but thanks to the hoodie that hides her wings, he had a hood on obstructing his face. If she didn't, Dirk would have noticed and been really confused.

That's when Dirk said, "Hey, you okay?" One of his eyebrows rose. Eridan was shaking, but stopped after Dirk spoke.  

"I'm fine." Eridan said in a quiet voice. "My question is w-why are you sittin across from me?" Near by, Karkat was watching very frightened due to the new knowledge he had gained the previous day.  _DON'T FUCK IT UP BECAUSE IF YOU DO WE ARE ALL FUCKED._  Or at least that's what Karkat would have thought if he wasn't preoccupied by Dirk's younger brother being a little shit.

"Because I feel like it."  _your woice is super hot fuck stop talkin ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!_

"Ok..."He looked down, nervous, and began to eat. After about 2 minutes of silence, she was now stress eating her fruit. Most faeries will eat their bread and soup and slowly eat the fruit over time but Eridan was too freaked out to think about staying hidden.

"Why are you only eating your fruit? And why are you eating it like if you don't you will explode?" Eridan paused in the middle of shoving raspberries in his mouth.

She finished eating this handful, sat taller, still blushing, and said, "Because if I don't, I w-will explode," with the confidence of the Empress telling her subjects about how great she was. Dirk began to laugh. Eridan didn't. He just sat there, incredibly embarrassed and nervous. _w-why does your laugh hawe to be so fucking sexy goddamn it dirk_ But then she did start to laugh, albeit a nervous laugh. When you nervously laugh, you don't smile, you just kinda grimace while laughing. Dirk's laugh ceased, and a few moments later so did Eridan's. They then just stared at each other. Then Eridan said, "Look, I'm sorry for makin it aw-wkw-ward. I-"

"Hey, don't worry about it. It's just you don't usually laugh so when you did, I was surprised."

"W-Why do you know-w I don't usually laugh?"

Dirk's mouth opened, closed, then opened again, "Uh, well I've just heard from others that you aren't usually the most happy person around. It's kinda your legacy, being an asshole..."

"Oh. W-Well, that makes sense." Eridan took a bite of his bread and slowly began to eat his soup. It was cold, but she knew she had to eat it at some point. Dirk looked suspicious, but he was still smiling. _stop bein so sexy dirk jesus im dyin here your just smilin and its makin me flustered_  After finishing about 3/4 of her soup, she lowered her hood for no reason in particular. She was still blushing a bit, but not enough for it to be too noticeable.

"Wow." It was very faint, barely even a whisper, but faeries have good hearing, so Eridan heard it and made a confused face. 

"W-What?"

"Oh, I was just noticing how nicely your hair is styled. Your hair doesn't look plastic-y like a lot of gels make hair look. It also can move, while some gel and hairsprays make your hair statuesque, yours can move. You must use really good products." Eridan was blushing harder than should be faerily possible. He was screaming internally."What do you use anyway?" He almost missed it because he was freaking out. When he finally heard it, Eridan almost said magic, because that's what he used.

But knowing that he couldn't tell Dirk that, she said, "My dad buys it as the w-whole family styles our hair that w-way. W-Well, Cro w-would if he w-wasn't tryin to be a greaser. But I don't know-w w-what he gets, he just giwes it to me. But w-what about you? Your hair is nice too."  _its so fluffy i just w-wanna liwe in your hair i w-wanna bury my face in it ewen though youre taller than me and i w-wanna sleep on it and stroke it all the time_  

"I wake up like this." Dirk said with a confident smile. Eridan made the biggest 'that's complete and utter bullshit' face in existence. "Ok ok, I use product but why do you need to know what I use? Your hair is much better than mine." 

"W-What? No w-way!"

"Um, on the bullshit meter I have internally, that sentence is a solid 15/10."

"No, really!"

"For example?" Eridan had so many examples, but saying them would give away his feelings. He just kinda sat there looking half defeated half sad. "Well? I'm waiting."

"I've got nothin."

"That's what I thought. Seriously, I'm not saying my hair looks bad. My hair looks fucking amazing. But yours is better. I mean, if I wore a hat, my hair would be ruined. But you are almost always wearing a hood and your hair stays perfect. It's not fair on any level."  _w-whats not fair is how fuckin hot you are like seriously i dont ewen know-w if you realize how-w fuckin hot you are_

"W-Well, ewerythin else about me is shit. You hawe really nice features. I seem to be too tall almost, but you are taller than me and you seem to hawe proper proportions and shit. Like, I look like I should be a foot shorter but then some asshole took me and stretched me out. You don't look like that." At this point Eridan had forgotten that she needed to pretend she wasn't interested in Dirk. That's when Karkat realized that Eridan was fucking up hardcore and came over.

"HEY, I NEED TO TALK TO THIS PERSON FOR A BIT, ALRIGHT?"

"Go for it." Karkat pulled Eridan out of the cafeteria and into the hallway far from any doors.

Karkat made sure no one was near by and then whisper shouted, "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?"

"Dirk started it! He started complimentin me and shit and I just got caught up in all of it. Sorry for messin it up."

Karkat sighed. "HEY, WHO AM I TO JUDGE? I SPEND A LOT OF TIME NEAR DAVE AND HE ISN'T EVEN THE ONE I'M ASSIGNED TO. HOPEFULLY, THE EMPRESS WILL SEE THIS AS A BETTER JOB RATHER THAN A COURTSHIP."

"Yeah, hopefully." Karkat walked back over to wear he was sitting. Eridan was trying to come up with a way to explain to Dirk that he said all of that in a way that wasn't romantic, but when he looked back into the cafeteria, Dirk was gone.

-

Ok, so remember, dear reader, we are now going back to before the interactions between Eridan and Dirk to see what Dirk was thinking the whole time.

-

Dirk was mustering up the courage to sit down across from Eridan. But for some reason, he couldn't. Roxy was helping encourage him.

"Come on! It's simple. You walk over there, set your tray down, sit down, and begin eating."

"But isn't that a little strange? Just going over there and sitting down with no explanation? What do I do if he asks why I'm sitting there? 'I'm trying to figure out why you and your friends and their siblings are following students around. If you trust me, I have a better chance of figuring out what you want.' doesn't exactly sound like a good idea."

"Just say you felt like it. Now, go forth!" She shoved him and he walked over, set his tray down, sat down, and began eating. For a few seconds, everything seemed fine until Eridan just froze with a really worried expression on his face.

"Hey, you okay?" Dirk said after Eridan had been frozen for about 15 seconds.

"I'm fine." The voice was timid, and almost seemed shaky, but Dirk ignored it. "My question is w-why are you sittin across from me?" Just like Dirk had predicted, Eridan was wondering why Dirk fucking Strider plopped his ass a few feet away when they had never spoken before.

And just as Roxy had advised, he said, "Because I feel like it."

"Ok..." And the Ampora looked down and began to slowly eat his fruit.  _Holy shit! This kid has a lot of fruit on his plate._ Dirk glanced around at the other 'guardian's' plates. They all had an abnormal amount of fruit on their plates too.   _Maybe a clue? Or maybe they just all enjoy fruit. I'm going to write this down when I get the chance._ He looked at the kid in front of him, who was now shoveling fruit into his mouth.

"Why are you only eating your fruit? And why are you eating it like if you don't you will explode?"

Eridan stopped eating for a moment, finished the raspberries that were in his hand, sat up a bit, and with confidence all Striders pretended to have, said, "Because if I don't, I w-will explode." Dirk mcfreakin lost it. He began to laugh harder than he had ever before. Tears were forming in his eyes. That's when he heard it. Eridan had begun to laugh too. He opened his eyes and saw a grimace instead of a smile. Dirk suddenly didn't feel like laughing anymore. He stopped, and two seconds later, Eridan did too. They just kinda stared at each other for a moment, before Eridan said, "Look, I'm sorry for makin it aw-wkw-ward. I-"

"Hey, don't worry about it. It's just you don't usually laugh so when you did, I was surprised."

"W-Why do you know-w I don't usually laugh?"

Dirk was about to say "Because I spy on you and your friends and your siblings all the time to see why you guys follow us around," then he decided not to say that, then he said, "Uh, well I've just heard from others that you aren't usually the most happy person around. It's kinda your legacy, being an asshole..."

"Oh. W-Well, that makes sense." Eridan took a bite of his bread and slowly began to eat his soup. Dirk sat there, smiling, because he had gotten Eridan to laugh. Nervously, but laugh nonetheless. Dirk didn't know that's why he was smiling, but that was indeed why. He began to eat too. After a while, Dirk looked up and noticed that Eridan had lowered his hood. His hair was styled up. It was black with a purple strip at the front, but Dirk noticed that Eridan actually had blonde hair from a few roots poking out. The hair looked so healthy and clean. It moved too. It looked like gravity just didn't work on the hair and Eridan had willed it to look the way it did, not used hair products.

Involuntarily, Dirk said, "Wow." It was quiet, almost like he mouthed it, yet Eridan had heard it.

Eridan looked up and said, "W-What?"

"Oh, I was just noticing how nicely your hair is styled. Your hair doesn't look plastic-y like a lot of gels make hair look. It also can move, while some gel and hairsprays make your hair statuesque, yours can move. You must use really good products." Eridan blushed really hard. Dirk was confused by it, but put it off to the fact that it might be one of his insecurities. "What product do you use anyway?"

After a few seconds, Eridan said, ""My dad buys it as the w-whole family styles our hair that w-way. W-Well, Cro w-would if he w-wasn't tryin to be a greaser. But I don't know-w w-what he gets, he just giwes it to me. But w-what about you? Your hair is nice too."

"I wake up like this." Dirk said with a grin. Eridan gave him a look of "Bullshit. Absolute bullshit." and Dirk said, "Ok ok, I use product but why do you need to know what I use? Your hair is much better than mine." 

"W-What? No w-way!"

"Um, on the bullshit meter I have internally, that sentence is a solid 15/10."

"No, really!"

"For example?" Eridan looked like he wanted to say something, but then changed his mind. He looked so sad. "Well? I'm waiting?"

"I've got nothin."

"That's what I thought. Seriously, I'm not saying my hair looks bad. My hair looks fucking amazing. But yours is better. I mean, if I wore a hat, my hair would be ruined. But you are almost always wearing a hood and your hair stays perfect. It's not fair on any level." Eridan blushed a bit, but then said something Dirk wouldn't've expected.

"W-Well, ewerythin else about me is shit. You hawe really nice features. I seem to be too tall almost, but you are taller than me and you seem to hawe proper proportions and shit. Like, I look like I should be a foot shorter but then some asshole took me and stretched me out. You don't look like that." Dirk was about to counter when Karkat showed up.

"HEY, I NEED TO TALK TO THIS PERSON FOR A BIT, ALRIGHT?"

"Go for it." Karkat pulled Eridan out of the cafeteria. Dirk thought about what Eridan had said for a moment.  _He's wrong. Although he may be thinner than many imagine could be possible, it looks nice on him._ _I mean, he has nice eyes, and his glasses frame his face fairly well. His ears... Wait, his ears?_ When Dirk thought back, he noticed that Eridan's ears seemed... pointy, almost. And his pupils, they almost looked like cat pupils. He ran off before Eridan came back. He found Roxy. "There is something I need to tell you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Eri! Wasn't prepared for all those amazing compliments. And Dirk wasn't either, even if they haven't registered in his brain.  
> WILL ERIDAN FIND A WAY TO APPROACH DIRK WITHOUT SOUNDING LIKE A HOPELESS ROMANTIC AND WILL DIRK EVER FIGURE OUT ERIDAN IS REALLY FUCKING IN LOVE WITH HIM?????? NOBODY KNOWS. I doubt I will come out with another chapter by Monday but I promise I will be writing!


	3. Eridan just can't stop fucking up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk and Roxy try and figure out what the hell the guardians are. Meanwhile, Kanaya is recruited and Eridan accidentally tells Karkat Sollux wants to poly Dave and him. Shenanigans ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY ITS TAKEN ME TWO WEEKS TO WRITE THIS ONE!!!!!!!! I TOTALLY FORGOT THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE WRITING AND DIDN'T START WRITING THIS UNTIL A FEW DAYS AGO I'M SOOOO SORRY AND IT'S SHORT TOO AHHHH I'M SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY I PROMISE ANOTHER WILL COME OUT BY TUESDAY TO MAKE UP FOR THIS BS I'M SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY

“Waiwaiwaiwaiwait. Something supernatural actually is going on?!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!” Roxy almost screamed.

Dirk gave her a chastising look and said, “I think so, but I don’t want the whole school to know!” Roxy gave him an apologetic look. “So, the clues we have are pointy ears, cat eye pupils, unusually cold all the time, and unusually obsessed with fruit. What does that mean?”

“What if the fruit thing is just a coincidence? Because the others could mean, wait for it, werewolves.”

“Werewolves wouldn’t be cold all the time, they’d be hot!”

“But they do need to hide their fur!” Dirk gave it some thought. _True, but should we really consider the fruit thing a coincidence?_ He then voiced that thought. “Well, maybe the fruit keeps them from turning or something. Or maybe they just all like fruit. Fruit is pretty fucking delish.”

“True, but some had like POUNDS of the stuff. Like a full tray or two devoted to fruit. And then some soup and some bread. That’s kinda excessive, don’t you think?”

“Like I said, could be a way to keep them from turning.”

“Yeah, but why would fruit do the trick?”

“I dunno. Maybe the fruit absorbs the sun’s rays or something?” At this point Dirk was willing to accept anything better than absolute bullshit.

“Although it is a shitty explanation, it’s the best we got if we’re going to go with werewolves. Any other ideas?”

“What about elves? Or fairies?”

“No, elves only explains the ears and fairies are supposed to be really small, plus, who's ever heard of fairies with cat-eye pupils?”

“Fair enough.”

“Okay, to test our hypothesis, we are going to need silver. Everyone knows werewolves cannot touch silver.”

“What if whenever Karkat comes over to chill with Dave, or some similar situation, we give him actual silverware. Like silver fork and knife or something. See how he reacts to it.”

“That works well. I know we have some silver somewhere.” They then spent the next few hours searching for silverware.

-

Eridan was lying on Karkat’s bed internally screaming. “HEY, YOU ARE FINE. MAYBE SOMETHING CAME UP?”

“No fuckin w-way. I had my hood dow-wn like a fuckin idiot, I just complimented the shit out of him, and w-was totally blushin the w-whole time. He probably know-ws ewerythin by now-w.”

“YEAH, THAT WAS A PRETTY STUPID MOVE. BUT WE CAN’T CHANGE THE PAST. HOW ABOUT WE GO RECRUITING TODAY? WE COULD RECRUIT FEFERI, KANAYA, OR SOLLUX.”

“NOT Sol.”

“WHY NOT?” _because he w-wants to poly the shit out of you and dawe and i dont think you can handle that yet_

“I think he should be the last is all.”

“OKAY. SO, FEFERI OR KANAYA?”

“I’d say Kan because she’s much deeper in human hell than Fef from what I can tell.” Karkat nodded and they flew over to Kanaya’s home. It was grander than most, but then again, all Jade wings had extremely grand and elegant homes. They were somewhat rare, so while they were middle-class, they also weren’t in some strange way. Eridan knocked on Kanaya’s door.

“Just A Moment,” was heard through the door. Kanaya over enunciated things. She opened the door with a smile, it faded a bit when she saw Eridan, but then it brightened. “Welcome To My Home. What Do You Need Me For?”

“WE WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK WITH YOU IN PRIVATE.” Kanaya looked surprised at that, but welcomed her guests in and ushered them to a room away from any windows or doors. She asked what they needed to say. Karkat responded in the quietest voice he could manage, “WE KNOW YOU HAVE A LARGE CRUSH ON THE ROSE HUMAN.”

Kanaya flushed and said, “I-I Don’t Know What You’re Talking About.”

“Oh, come on. I see you follow-w her w-with a dreamy look in your eyes and you newer frow-wn in her presence. You sneak looks at her during our classes and are always there to support Rose in w-ways most faeries don’t care to do. You lowe her.”

“JUST ADMIT IT. WE PROMISE WE AREN’T GOING TO TURN YOU IN.”

“Okay, I Admit It. But Why Do You Need To Know?”

“The W-Wings of the Fallen w-would like you to join their club. So far it’s just me and Kar, but Sol and Fef are our next targets.”

“What Does This Club Do?”

“WELL, ALL OF US HAVE CRUSHES ON HUMANS. SO WE’RE BASICALLY GOING TO SUFFER TOGETHER.”

“Fair Enough. Who Do You Two Have Crushes On?” Kanaya gets a gleam in her eye that they all know to mean she’s very interested and may make a fashion line about everyone’s crushes and shit.

“Dirk Strider.”

“THE YOUNGER STRIDER.”

“Wow. You Two Are Both In Love With Striders? And I’m In Love With A Close Relative Of The Striders. Interesting.”

“W-Well, I know-w of one other w-who has a crush on a Strider, so three out of five of the club members are goin to be in Strider hell.” Eridan said without thinking. She flushed once she realized what she said. Immediately, Karkat reacted.

“WHAT??? WHICH STRIDER IS THAT BECAUSE I AIN’T SHARING.”

“W-Well, I hawe a feelin that Sol w-wants to poly you and Dawe????” Eridan’s voice got higher and softer as the sentence went on. Karkat was stunned into silence. Eridan and Kanaya were very worried about this, because they both knew Karkat could talk until the end of time.

“Karkat, Are You Alright?”

“I’m sorry Kar! I didn’t mean to tell you! Oh my god, Sol is goin to kill me!” Kanaya then hit Eridan for thinking about himself. “SORRY, Kar I’m real sorry I fucked up I shouldn’t hawe told you and now-w you probably hate Sol and then Sol is goin to hate me and you are goin to hate me and and…” Eridan faded away, almost crying. Karkat then began to laugh.

He laughed really loud and whispered, actually whispered, “I’m the luckiest faerie alive.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone needs to join me in soldavekat hell  
> and eridirk hell for that matter  
> also i wrote the last portion during an anxiety attack so tell me if there is typos that shouldn't be there and shit


	4. Is It A Gay Porno?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan figures out what Karkat meant last chapter and they both go to the Strider household. Dirk gets the evidence he needs. Something that isn't supposed to happen happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you guys I'd get a chapter out! It's technically longer than my average chapter, so ha!

_huh???????????_ “W-What the fuck are you talkin about?”

“OH, WELL, UH…” Karkat flushed a red that no faerie other than his older brother and his father and him could reach.

“Spit It Out.”

“SOLLUX IS MY BEST FRIEND. I MEAN, ERIDAN’S GREAT, BUT I’VE ALWAYS FELT LIKE SOLLUX IS MY ONE TRUE FRIEND. SOON ENOUGH, THAT DEVELOPED INTO FEELINGS. I WAS BETTER OFF THAN ALL OF YOU. EVEN IF THE ROMANCE BETWEEN DAVE AND I IS FORBIDDEN, I COULD ALWAYS JUST TRY A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOLLUX. BUT KNOWING HE LIKES ME AND DAVE MAKES MY LIFE BETTER AND WORSE.”

“How Does It Make It Worse?”

“POLY RELATIONSHIPS IN THE HUMAN WORLD ARE KINDA NOT GOOD IN FACT IT’S SEEN AS CHEATING OR SOME SHIT.”

“That’s bullshit!”

“I Agree. While Not All Faeries Are Interested In Polyamorous Relationships, If All Participants Are Consenting, I See No Harm.”

“I agree w-with the rest of the statement you made that w-wasn’t agreein to w-what I said prewiously. That’s fuckin bullshit, Kar.” Eridan made the most sympathetic face he could.

“WELL, AT LEAST I KNOW MY FEELINGS ARE RECIPROCATED ON ONE FRONT. ERIDAN, HOW THE FUCK DID YOU LEARN THAT BIT OF KNOWLEDGE ANYWAYS?”

“W-Well, at first it w-was a guess, but I got Sol drunk on fermented flower nectar and he kinda said it? He said somethin along the lines of ‘ii really w-wanna fuck dw and kk at the same tiime all the tiime’ and I w-was like shiiiit.”

“HUH. WHERE DID YOU GET FERMENTED FLOWER NECTAR?” Eridan just shrugged. “WELL, I GUESS THAT’S GOOD TO KNOW. THANKS.”

“No problem I suppose?”

“Well Now That That’s Dealt With, How Do I Join This Club Of Yours?” Eridan and Karkat made up an embarrassing initiation ritual on the spot and Kanaya did it. Eridan was secretly recording the whole thing. Then towards the end, Karkat and Eridan got a text from Dave and Dirk respectively.

Karkat’s message:

hey wanna come over or something

SURE. BE OVER IN A MOMENT.

cool see you then

Eridan’s message:

Hey, this is Dirk, I’m sorry I just randomly left earlier today. Wanna come over so I can make it up?

uh sure i suppose wwait howw the fuck did you get this number?

I asked Karkat for it.

oh ok see you then

They then said their farewells and went home to change into their human clothes. Neither had any idea the other was invited, so when they both arrived to the Strider household, they were kinda peeved but they didn’t say anything. Dirk answered the door and invited them in. Dirk once again apologized for leaving so abruptly and Eridan blushed and said that it was fine. Dirk said he’d be back he just needed to grab something. Karkat glared at Eridan as a warning to stop being such a baby around Dirk because it’s really fucking obvious. Dirk came back a little later and invited them both to join them for take out and handed them forks. Both faeries dropped the forks immediately after touching them.

“Is everything alright?” Dirk said.

“YEAH. WHAT’S THE FORK MADE OF?”

“It’s made of silver and steel. Closest thing to real silver we have. Why?”

“I’d just prefer to hawe a plastic fork.”

“SAME.” Eridan then bunched up his sweater around his hands and handed the forks back to Dirk. Dirk went back into the kitchen and returned with plastic forks.

“Okay, here you two are. Weird thing to have a preference about, but I’m not judging.” After the Striders and their two guests finished the take out, Dave and Karkat went to Dave’s room to play Mario Kart. The yells of overly competitive friends would echo throughout the house until Karkat left. Dirk then said, “Hey, let’s hang out in my room.” Eridan nodded and _tried_ to not think about how could be the beginning to a gay porno. He really did. She followed Dirk to his room and Dirk sat on his bed while Eridan sat on Dirk’s desk chair. “Again, sorry for leaving so suddenly earlier. I got some news I needed to tell my cousin, Roxy.”

“It’s fine. I really didn’t mind since it w-wasn’t as if w-we had planned the hour before hand or somethin.”

“So, we were arguing about who had the best hair and you had just taken a shit on yourself.” Eridan looked at the ground and nodded. “Why do you think of yourself that way?”

“W-Well, you know-w how-w you treat yourself much w-worse than you treat others.” _more like i hawe the pressure on me to fuckin be a prince or some shit and i dont liwe up to that standard i mean im too w-weak and shit_

“Understandably. I have a lot of self confidence so I don’t but I can understand why others, including yourself, would. But may I say thank you for all of the wonderful compliments you gave me.”

“No problem…” _shit man stop bein a gentleman its super hot fuck_ Eridan began rubbing her burnt hand. Faeries can’t touch iron and by extension steel since steel is 98% iron, much like werewolves and silver, so he was going to have a scar on her hand for a while.

“Hey, your hand is okay, right?” Eridan looked up and saw a legitimately worried expression on Dirk’s face. “I know Karkat said you guys were fine, but that only says what he felt.” Eridan nodded. “Ok, because if you need anything for your burn I could get you something.”

“No, really. I’m fine.”

“If you say so.” There was kinda an awkward silence for a while filled only with muffled yells including what happens when Karkat is actually trying to yell. Eridan was getting really nervous. So she did what she did whenever he was nervous. He pulled out a small sketchbook and began to draw gore. It was the only time he truly felt like a high class fae. She was already in the middle of a scene of a olive wing having the right side of their face carved off, so she continued that. Then Dirk stood up and ripped the sketchbook out of Eridan’s hands when she wasn’t doing anything for a few seconds.

“W-What the fuck are you doin?”

“I’m curious. What are you drawing? It looks awesome.”

“... Fantasy gore…”

“What’s this you were drawing?”

“A faerie gettin the right side of their face saw-wed off…”

“I feel like I recognize this person. Do they go to our school?” Eridan nodded.

“Yeah, it’s Meulin Leijon.” That’s when Dirk started to go through the sketchbook that Eridan freaked out. When you’re supposed to watch someone’s every move, you tend to draw them a lot.

“Is this me? Getting my eyes sewn shut?” Eridan flushed. He remembered that one. It was done one boring evening while Dirk was flirting with a kid named Jake. The next few pictures were Eridan taking it out on Jake. Especially since soon afterwards the two had begun dating. It crashed and burned, a thought that often would make Eridan almost happy, but just knowing they had been together at all was awful.

“You draw-w w-what you see, I suppose.” That’s when Eridan softly asked for his sketchbook back, and Dirk politely handed it back.

“Sorry, I was just extremely curious.”

“W-We need to stop gettin into situations w-where you hawe to apologize.”

“I feel bad for getting into all these situations.” Eridan places her sketchbook on her lap. Another awkward silence began, but this time Eridan just stared at the floor. That’s when Eridan pretended to check the time and fake surprise.

“Ah shit. If I’m not home soon, my dad’s goin to kill me. I hawen’t done my homew-work yet either. See you at school?”

“Sure. I’ll walk you out.” Dirk led Eridan to the door. “Later.”

“Bye.” Eridan walked home and took off his human clothes as soon as he could. Her faerie clothes were much more comfortable. He then did his homework, since the entire evening had been recruiting Kanaya and visiting Dirk for awkward times ™ , so she took forever getting it done. Once it was, he drank some warm nectar and went to bed, where he dreamt of black gods ripping everyone apart.

-

Dirk’s POV because I fucking can.

-

They finally unlocked the cabinet and looked at the silverware. Most of the stuff in there were small swords, but there were a few forks and knives. According to Joseph, they didn’t have just silver silverware because that shit’s too girly or something. They only have a silver and steel alloy. “Do you think it’s enough? Or does it have to be pure silver?” Roxy said.

“Well, we’ll just have to try it and see.” They then payed Dave to invite Karkat over, although they knew the money probably wasn’t necessary, and Dirk invited Eridan over. Earlier that day, Dirk had asked for Eridan’s number from Karkat, and Karkat obliged. Joseph, or Bro as he prefered his nieces and sons to call him, ordered take out. About a half an hour later, there was a knock at the door. Dirk opened it to find both Eridan and Karkat standing there looking slightly annoyed. Dirk invited them in. He once again apologized for leaving earlier that day and Eridan looked at the ground and muttered that it was fine. Dirk then invited them to eat take out with everyone else. He went to fetch them forks, and he grabbed the silver and steel forks hoping they would work, and they did, the moment the two touched the forks they reacted as if it had burned them. “Is everything alright?” Dirk said.

“YEAH. WHAT’S THE FORK MADE OF?”

“It’s made of silver and steel. Closest thing to real silver we have. Why?”

“I’d just prefer to hawe a plastic fork.”

“SAME.” Eridan then bunched up his sweater around his hands and handed the forks back to Dirk. Dirk went back into the kitchen and returned with plastic forks. He was ecstatic. The silver had worked. There were two werewolves in his house.

“Okay, here you two are. Weird thing to have a preference about, but I’m not judging.” After the Striders and their two guests finished the take out, Dave and Karkat went to Dave’s room to play Mario Kart. The yells of overly competitive friends would echo throughout the house until Karkat left. Dirk then said, “Hey, let’s hang out in my room.” He walked to his room and Eridan followed, looking… uncomfortable. That was understandable, as this could be the beginning of any number of gay pornos. He sat on his bed, which didn’t help, and Eridan sat on his desk chair.

“Again, sorry for leaving so suddenly earlier. I got some news I needed to tell my cousin, Roxy.”

“It’s fine. I really didn’t mind since it w-wasn’t as if w-we had planned the hour before hand or somethin.”

“So, we were arguing about who had the best hair and you had just taken a shit on yourself.” Eridan looked at the ground and nodded. “Why do you think of yourself that way?”

“W-Well, you know-w how-w you treat yourself much w-worse than you treat others.” _Yes, but yours is almost surreal. It’s insane how much you hate yourself. It’s really sad._

“Understandably. I have a lot of self confidence so I don’t but I can understand why others, including yourself, would. But may I say thank you for all of the wonderful compliments you gave me.”

“No problem…” Eridan began to rub his injured hand. _Shit, I didn’t mean for it to scar or anything. I hope he’s okay._

“Hey, your hand is okay, right? I know Karkat said you guys were fine, but that only says what he felt.” Eridan nodded. “Ok, because if you need anything for your burn I could get you something.”

“No, really. I’m fine.”

“If you say so.” Nothing was said for a while. Eridan just looked at the ground, and Dirk looked at Eridan. Then, Eridan pulled out a small sketchbook and began drawing. His face relaxed and he actually looked comfortable for the first time that evening. Dirk had to know why for some reason. He walked over, and once Eridan had taken a break for a few moments, snatched it out of his hands and sat down on the bed. On the page was Meulin, an older student in Dirk’s grade. She was deaf, but always quite chipper. And… her face was falling off. She was crying, and on the skinless side, you could see the tears get darker as they ran down her muscle. It was…. disgusting to say the least, but also amazing. One other detail intrigued him. She had wings. Maybe Eridan liked to imagine them as different supernatural beings.

“W-What the fuck are you doin?”

“I’m curious. What are you drawing? It looks awesome.”

“... Fantasy gore…”

“What’s this you were drawing?”

“A fairy gettin the right side of their face saw-wed off…”

“I feel like I recognize this person. Do they go to our school?” Eridan nodded.

“Yeah, it’s Meulin Leijon.” Dirk flipped through the sketchbook. It was all gore. That’s when he saw a picture of himself.

“Is this me? Getting my eyes sewn shut?” It looked amazing. Dirk’s shades were broken and shards were stuck in his face.

“You draw-w w-what you see, I suppose.” That’s when Eridan softly asked for his sketchbook back, and Dirk politely handed it back.

“Sorry, I was just extremely curious.”

“W-We need to stop gettin into situations w-where you hawe to apologize.”

“I feel bad for getting into all these situations.” Eridan places her sketchbook on her lap. Another awkward silence began, but this time Eridan just stared at the floor. Then Eridan checked the time.

“Ah shit. If I’m not home soon, my dad’s goin to kill me. I hawen’t done my homew-work yet either. See you at school?”

“Sure. I’ll walk you out.” Dirk led Eridan to the door. “Later.”

“Bye.” Eridan began to walk home. Dirk shut the door and ran to where Roxy was eavesdropping on Dave and Karkat. He waved her over a bit and said, “The silver worked. They are werewolves.”

“Wow! Real supernatural beings! I told you they were real!”

“And I now believe you. It is hard to, but I believe you.”

“So, what are we going to do? Are we going to try and help them without letting them know we know or are we going to try and out their secret?”

“I’d say help them. It’d be rude to just out them like that, especially since it seems they’re trying to help us.”

“Okay. Let’s eavesdrop on the two lovebirds.” She winked. They shuffled over and listened in for a while. It was quiet.

They heard Karkat say, “HOLY FUCKING SHIT DUDE. DID THAT JUST HAPPEN?”

“Hell yeah. That was fucking awesome.”

“UH, I NEED TO LEAVE NOW.”

“Karkat, really?”

“NO REALLY, I’VE GOT TO GO.” Dirk’s eyes widened and Roxy and him ran and hid in the bathroom. Karkat passed by looking extremely scared. And in that moment, Dirk and Roxy had the same thought. _Did Karkat and Dave make out?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did they make out? You tell me! Also I'm going to thank you all once again for reading this! I appreciate every kudos and comment!


	5. W-Why the fuck w-would I know-w?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out why Karkat looked so scared. And, Eridan and Dirk bond over lunch again. It's going to be a thing now, not that they know that ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha. I love how last chapter I felt awful for not updating in two weeks and then it took me almost two months to update again. Haha.  
> I'm so sorry.

Dirk busted into Dave’s room. “What the fuck just happened?”

Dave responded, “Dude, it’s not that big of a deal. Wait, were you eavesdropping? Dude, what the fuck?”

“Yeah I was, but that doesn’t matter right now. What. Happened?”

“I beat Karkat in Mario Kart.”

Dirk was taken aback. “Why the fuck did Karkat look so frightened then?”

“We made a bet than when I finally beat him he had to take me to his house. He has three weeks to arrange it.” Dave sat there with a smug look on his face.

“What happens if he doesn’t?” Roxy asked.

"Then I get to take pictures of him nude and post them on the internet.”

Dirk and Roxy looked at each other. “That’s a little harsh, don’t’cha think?” Roxy commented.

Dave responded, “How else would I convince him to let me visit his house? If there isn’t something much worse for if he doesn’t, then he’d just take the other route.”

“Why do you want to visit his house so much? Why not just ask?” Dirk asked.

“Well I’ve never been to his house ever. Whenever I used to mention it, he would try to change the subject. So, we made a bet. I’m really bad at Mario Kart so I said that if I ever beat him, I would get to see his house. He agreed. I actually almost started believing I would never win, but then I had the brilliant idea of messing with his controls. I changed the wheels and he can only properly function with all the right settings. I won just barely and now I get to visit his house.” Dave had the biggest smirk. But Roxy and Dirk had just decided to help their werewolf peers. It was obvious their houses were different or something, why else would they have fake addresses? And nude pictures would reveal their identities. So after ending the conversation they went to Dirk’s room to discuss a plan to keep the werewolves a secret.

“How are we going to do this? Dave is not going to let go of the chance to see Karkat’s house for some reason. Why does he care so much?” Dirk said while pushing his shades into his hair. He was stressed and upset that the second he found out about the supernatural beings in his life, he had to help them out. Almost as if a writer was using it to build tension and make their story interesting. Nah, that wasn’t possible. But still, it was annoying that this just had to happen.

“Probably because Dave’s a little shit. Like you said, we can’t stop him. So, we either let Karkat tell him, we tell him, or try to help Karkat without being obvious about it.” Roxy said after sitting down with a huff.

“I’d say the first and third. We’ll try and help without being obvious, but we’ll let Dave find out on his own.”

“Why not just tell him? He’d probably understand and back off.”

“But Dave is super hyped about it. Why would he all the sudden just be like ‘oh hey even though i’ve wanted to see your house for like a million years i no longer want to’ unless he knew something? It’d be too suspicious.” Dirk is not good with impressions, so let’s hope that’s the last time it happened.

“You have a point. Why can’t we tell Karkat we know and help him?”

“I have a feeling people aren’t supposed to know. Also, I found out because Eridan lowered his hood, which he never does, and I don’t want to get him in trouble.The dude’s life is a train wreck, I don’t want to make it any worse.”

“Ok, so how are we going to help?”

“I have no fucking idea.”

“Fantastic.” They then spent the rest of the night contemplating on how the fuck they were going to pull this off. After coming up with just about nothing, Roxy went home and the two slept until the next day brought a new adventure.

-

Eridan woke up and donned her glasses. He used magic to style his hair, then used magic to dye it. Her roots were showing and it was embarrassing. He drank some orange nectar tea and ate some dragonfruit and starfruit. She dressed himself in faerie clothing, all nice and natural, made of leaves and truly gender ambiguous. Then, with a sigh, he dressed herself in human clothing, too hot and padded, fake and plastic-y. Her wings uncomfortably pressed into weird positions and folded. He pulled his hood over his hair, put on shoes, and took the Faerie Train to the portal. In the land of Fae, there isn’t really a ground unless you’ve built one. If you haven’t, the ground is approximately 40 miles below most of Fae, so enjoy the ride if you’ve fallen and cannot fly. So, for the students and teachers wearing human clothes, meaning they’re unable to use their wings, there’s the Faerie Train. It runs all throughout and it’s last stop is the portal. He stepped through the barrier and began the walk through Alternia Forest and out the path. It was still quite early, around 4:30 AM, as he liked to wake up before his dad and Cronus could yell at him and tease her. And, the dawn had not come, and that was her favorite time of day. Because right at dawn was when Dirk would wake up. And with an ability at spying that a few months ago she didn’t possess, she could now watch him awake, ruffled and pure. A year or two ago, when Vriska was still in Eridan’s good graces, somewhat, she taught him how to spy. Only a few months ago did he realize she did it in a way that could’ve gotten him caught easily if he hadn’t used it only when Dirk was asleep. She had done it on purpose, the bitch. Then Karkat, who, smitten with Dave even then, was much better and much better at hiding while still seeing the subject at the perfect angle, taught him how to do it much better. This was quite funny because Karkat was much better at this when at the Strider household than the Harley’s, which is the home of Jade, his assignment. Eridan hadn’t realized it then, but the love Karkat felt for Dave that lead him to come here was why he was so accustomed to climbing those branches. Eridan now used these techniques to watch Dirk sleep, looking almost flawless in the night. Her heart ached with a power almost no one would ever know or could know. Dirk, so close to him, was so beautiful. It ripped him apart and put him together. That’s when he heard a familiar footsteps, though they were even hard for a faerie to hear. Karkat, after having watched Jade, was here, near, but not quite near enough for Terezi to smell him, to watch Dave. Eridan almost laughed. Karkat liked to pretend he was only friends with Dave, but she knew all too well how much caring for a human hurt, and it was worse since Karkat was close with Dave. Ever since Dirk had first spoken to Eridan, she was beginning to see just how much of a difference that made. Then, unexpectedly, Karkat was next to Eridan. Eridan was so frightened she almost fell out of the tree. _good thin i’we learned to be silent ewen wwhen prowoked like that_ Karkat then signaled him to walk a little ways away to talk about something. He looked really worried, so Eridan agreed and they walked to the park in silence. Once they had reached a bench and sat down, Karkat said, “WE HAVE A MAJOR PROBLEM.”

“W-What is it?” Eridan replied.

“I MADE A BET WITH DAVE ONCE. IF HE COULD BEAT ME IN MARIO KART, I WOULD LET HIM VISIT MY HOUSE. IF HE HADN’T VISITED MY HOUSE WITHIN THREE WEEKS, HE COULD TAKE PICTURES OF ME NAKED AND POST THEM ON THE INTERNET. AND NOW…”

“He’s beat you at Mario Kart.”

“EXACTLY.”

“W-Why did you think this bet w-would w-work? Both of those thins out us to at least one human.”

“BECAUSE DAVE FUCKING SUCKS AT MARIO KART. PLUS, HE WOULDN’T STOP BOTHERING ME ABOUT WHERE THE FUCK I LIVED, SO THIS BET SAID THAT HE COULDN’T MENTION MY LIVING SPACE AT ALL UNTIL THEN. HE MESSED WITH MY CONTROLS AND WON LAST NIGHT. I KNOW BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT MY PROPER FUCKING PREFERENCES DO WHEN I PLAY MARIO KART, BUT HE THOUGHT I WOULDN’T NOTICE. THE BET NEVER SAID HE COULDN’T THOUGH, SO I HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT EITHER WAY. WHAT THE EMPRESSLOVING FUCK DO I DO.”

“W-Why the fuck w-would I know-w? This is w-way beyond my fuckin realm. I mean, I do fuck up in front of Dirk, but newer enough that it outright w-without fail tells the w-whole fuckin w-world w-we’re not human!”

“WILL YOU AT LEAST HELP.”

“Of fuckin course! W-When Fef and Vri broke my heart, you w-were there for me! The club’s main purpose w-was to help our members in these kinda situations! W-Why the fuck w-wouldn’t I?”

“THANK GOD. I WAS REALLY FUCKING WORRIED THAT IT WAS JUST GOING TO BE ME. SO, ANY IDEAS.”

“Let’s w-wait until w-we got the w-whole club together. Hopefully, w-we’ll get another member or tw-wo tonight, and fiwe heads are better than tw-wo.”

“WELL THEN, LET’S FOCUS ON GETTING THE MEMBERS TO JOIN. SOLLUX ONLY TOLD YOU BECAUSE HE WAS DRUNK. HE PROBABLY DOESN’T EVEN REMEMBER TELLING YOU. AND FEFERI HAS NO IDEA WE’RE ON TO HER. HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET THEM IF THEY HAVE NO INTENTIONS OF TELLING ANYONE? I MEAN, KANAYA WENT EASILY BECAUSE SHE’S LIKE THAT, WANTING TO KNOW THE GOSSIP AND SHIT. I MEAN, SHE’S PROBABLY ALREADY MADE YOU AN OUTFIT WITH ORANGE AND PURPLE LEAVES.”

“You hawe a point. Hm.” Eridan’s eyes lit up as an idea sparked in her head. “W-What if you asked Sollux out? He’d totally make out with you, and durin it, you would ‘accidentally’ moan Dawe, and then you’d hawe to explain and try to inwite him to ‘help out’, but then I’d tell his secret, and he’d hawe to join.”

“THAT IDEA ISN’T HALF BAD. I MEAN, I GET TO MAKE OUT WITH SOMEONE I’VE BEEN WANTING TO BONE FOR ABOUT 5 YEARS, I HELP MYSELF AND THE DAVE ISSUE, AND I BEGIN THE POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN DAVE, SOLLUX, AND MYSELF. IT’S FUCKING PERFECT.”

“I know-w, I know-w. I’m a fuckin genius. I should get a fuckin aw-ward for this amazin idea.”

“OK THAT’S A LITTLE MUCH. YOUR IDEA IS GOOD, BUT IT’S NOT AWARD WINNING.”

“Right. Sorry.”

“DUDE, YOU DON’T NEED TO FUCKING APOLOGIZE. LATELY, YOU HAVEN’T HAD THE SAME VIGOR OR CRANKY-NESS. ARE YOU OKAY.”

“Yeah. You’re right. I’we been actin a little… calm lately. I think it’s because of Dirk. He’s given me a center of which to focus on. But I’m fine, really.”

“OK, IF YOU SAY SO.” Karkat checked the time. “IT’S 5:00 AM. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO.”

“W-Well, w-we’we discussed the plan for Sol, now-w w-we need one for Fef, but she shouldn’t be too hard. But just to be safe, let’s plan somethin at least.”

“OKAY, I GOT AN IDEA. WHAT IF WE DO EXACTLY WHAT WE DID WITH KANAYA, BUT WITH JANE’S NAME INSTEAD OF ROSE AND FEFERI’S NAME INSTEAD OF KANAYA. ISN’T THAT IDEA FUCKING BRILLIANT.” Eridan’s face scrunched up.

“I w-was just tryin to plan ahead, okay?”

“FAIR ENOUGH. BUT REALLY, FEFERI WILL PROBABLY ACCEPT IMMEDIATELY, IT’S REALLY ONLY SOLLUX THAT NEEDS PERSUASION.”

“Okay, okay. You do realize you w-were the one to suggest creatin a plan for inwitin Fef earlier, right?”

“YES BUT IN RETROSPECT THAT IS UNNECESSARY.”

“Ok, ok. W-Well it’s still pretty early in the mornin, so if you w-wanna go get coffee or some shit, I’d be glad to join you.”

“YEAH, A CAFFEINATED BEVERAGE SOUNDS REALLY FUCKING AMAZING RIGHT NOW.” With that, Eridan and Karkat hopped off the benches and walked to the nearest coffee shop, called The Green Sun Cafe. Eridan ordered a peppermint mocha and a scone and Karkat just got black coffee and a muffin. Karkat snuck some sugar in his coffee but Eridan saw. Why did Karkat care if anyone saw him add sugar? I don’t fucking know. Ask him. I’m just the scribe, okay? Fourth wall break aside, they sat down and drank and ate their food. Dawn was about to break, and although it made Eridan upset that she wouldn’t get to see Dirk awaken, it was nice, just sitting there, peacefully, with whom Eridan considered her one true friend. They ate and drank, and watched night turn to twilight, then from twilight to dawn, then from dawn to day. They got up and walked to school. It was silent but peaceful. The second they walked into the doors, the peaceful serenity broke, and Eridan felt his happiness fall. Today was going to be rough, but, then again, what day wasn’t. With a sigh, Eridan sat down for her first class, ready for the day to be another of many horrible ones.

-

Lunch had arrived. The day had been hell, but that was expected. Once again, Eridan bought some fruit, soup, and bread. And once again, Dirk motherfucking Strider plopped his ass directly across from her. She was a little more prepared this time, but it still startled him. There was a visual jump, but she apologized, saying the noise of the tray hitting the table was louder than he was prepared for. They both knew that was the bullshitiest of bullshit excuses. A male bovine just took a shit and it fell out of Eridan’s mouth. But, they both went along with it. Because who cares. Not them. They ate in silence mostly, and Eridan was calm. She had realized that she had put Dirk on a kind of pedestal and worshipped the ground he walked on, even though he wasn’t that cool. More of an awkward dork that likes swords and anime. Deep down Eridan had known this, because he had to stalk Dirk, but didn’t really acknowledge it because if you say the person you have a crush on is super amazing, even if you’re banned from having a crush on him, it’s justifiable, because he’s super amazing. I mean, Eridan was still lusting after him To The Max™, but he didn’t think of Dirk as a god anymore. When had Eridan had this revelation? In the middle of science. He had even made an awkward gesture and noise. The teacher misinterpreted this as he did something wrong/was dying, so the teacher broke into a panic, and after the panic, Eridan was sent to the principal’s office for disrupting class. But, fortunately, the empress really doesn’t give two shits, and just said, “Fuck off, I’m busy doing my nails.” So Eridan went to his next class and that was that. SO, while Eridan was calm, he wasn’t, because his crush, who although is a nerd who likes swords and anime, is super hot, and that previous fact actually makes him adorable and hot, which is awful for her. So, calm and nervous, he slowly ate his food and tried not to make eye contact. Then, fucking hell, Dirk tried to make conversation.

“So, I heard that you got sent to the principal’s office. How’d that turn out?”

Eridan looked up a little, still trying to avoid eye contact, and responded, “Eh, I’m off the hook. All I did w-was make an aw-wkw-ward gesture and noise, w-which the teacher thought meant I w-was dyin for some reason, and panicked. Then, because I caused the panic, I w-was sent for ‘disruptin class’. So, once Ms. Peixes heard that, she sent me aw-way.”

“Well, that’s unfortunate. Would you mind repeating the awkward gesture? For scientific reasons, of course.” Eridan repeated the awkward gesture and noise. “And this showed you were dying because?”

“W-Why the fuck w-would I know-w? I don't know-w w-what's goin on in her mind. I w-wonder w-why she flipped so easily.”

“Probably because that science teacher is about to go on a fucking murder spree. She’s so stressed all the time and it’s beginning to show through. I mean seriously, all you did was make a noise and a gesture and ‘HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT KID IS DYING NOW CALL THE MOTHERFUCKING PO-PO AND GET A FUCKING AMBULANCE BEFORE DEATH OCCURS’ is immediately what she thinks. I’m happy to know Ms. Peixes was understanding.” _if by understandin you mean she doesnt giwe tw-wo shits then yeah she w-was super understandin_

“Yeah, w-well, I’m just glad I’m not in trouble. If my dad found out, I w-would be dead w-where I stand.”

“Really?”

“You know-w my dad. He’s the Wice Principal. He’s no less strict and cruel at home. One time, I w-was suspended because I accidentally broke a locker. I was grounded for 2 months after that.” “He grounded you because you were suspended.”

“Yep.”

“That’s pretty normal.”

“Yeah, but he wasn’t upset that I did somethin w-wrong he was upset because I got caught. He w-was ewen impressed that I w-was strong enough to kick the door off. He w-was just upset it ruined his reputation in the eyes of Ms. Peixes, ewen though she can’t ewen remember his name. She calls him ‘Mr. Ampulae’.”

“That’s… really weird.”

Eridan shrugged. “That’s my dad for you.”

“Well, you can chill over at my house if you ever need a break from your dad.”

“Eh, I w-wake up too early and get home too late to ewer see him. He only ewer communicates to me through text messagin.” _you idiot he just said you can hang out w-with him w-whenewer quick think of somethin_ “It’s, uh, my brother I need to awoid.” _fuckin nailed it_ “Yeah, Cro is kinda the w-worst. He teases me and is honestly one of the biggest factors in makin my life w-worse, so if he’s bein a douche, I’ll just hawe to take you up on that offer.”

“Ok, I guess. I can understand. I have math with the kid and he hits on me every time without fail.”

“He hits on eweryone he encounters w-without fail. One time he ewen hit on me by accident.”

“That’s just gross.”

“Yeah, but I’we gotten used to it. He’s my brother. I’we lived w-with him my entire life.”

“Well, okay. Once again, if you ever need freedom, which you do, then you are free to just show up.”

“Alrighty then.” They then finished eating in silence. Eridan was smiling. He had just gotten a free pass to come over and spy on his crush. And she was supposed to spy on her crush. His day had just improved tenfold. She looked at Dirk. Dirk looked back. At least, his face was facing Eridan. His glasses were reflective, so Eridan wasn’t sure where Dirk was looking. Dirk was gaping at something, hopefully Eridan, and it made Eridan blush, but she was still smiling. Dirk then smiled back. And with that, the day was almost perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw man. I'm just so happy that I have the opportunity to ship something this wonderful. And I get to write about it! Honestly though, the best part is the people that read it and tell me such nice things! All of your comments and kudos makes me soooooo happy! Thank you so so so so much for reading!


	6. All the Motherfucking Trademarks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Eridan visits Dirk because home sucks and decides to stay for a while. Can Dirk deal with the fact Eridan is so adorable and hot??? Probably not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY FINAL 4/13 HAHAFH  
> i'm dead inside  
> no but like seriously this was my 4/13 project am i lame or what  
> Warning: There is some abuse in this chapter. Bro does kinda... Bro. and I deal with the whole reason Bro is still him but allowed to take care of children. Kinda. Also, Dualscar does something similar, but its stated. I'll try my best to describe this, but if I say something insensitive CALL ME OUT PLS

“Yo, Di-Stri, wake the fuck up.” It was Roxy. On a Saturday. At the ass crack of dawn. Well, 1:00PM, but on a Saturday, it was like being woken up at the ass crack of dawn. Dirk groaned. Loudly.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“We are not going to do this.” Roxy said before it got out of hand. Dirk groaned and sighed. _Why is it that Roxy can always see through my attempts at stalling? It’s probably because I used them on her so often she can tell immediately now. Fucking figures._

Dirk sighed and then said, “Why do I have to get up?”

“Because I realized something.”

“And what is that?”

“One, I figured out how to keep Dave from one of the two things he’s planning on doing, possibly both.” Dirk sat up pretty quickly, immediately donning his shades.

“I’m listening.”

“Two, that you and Eridan would be so fucking cute together so I’m gonna do everything in my power to set you two up.” Roxy looked very excited. Where she got the idea? No one is sure. Even when asked today she just says that it was intuition.

“You’ve got to be shitting me.” Dirk was not very happy about this, if you can’t already tell.

“The shits are not here. The air is clear. I am motherfucking doing this. And because of it, I’m going to do everything in my power without being obvious or overstepping boundaries to get you and Eridan get closer. I won’t do more than you’re okay with.” _Fuck you. I’m tired as shit and can’t a guy just talk to me without you assuming they’re in love with me? And that I should be in love with them too? Eridan’s just my bro, okay? Jesus, Roxy._  Dirk was cranky as fuck, so these thoughts may have been a little stupid and funny considering the circumstances, present, and future.

“I fucking hate you sometimes.” Roxy noticed Dirk never said she couldn’t try. Just that he wasn’t happy about it. It made her grin a little wider. Just a little.

“I know. It’s one of my best qualities, being able to tell when you and someone else should be in love. Or any people. For example, I totally think that that Nepreta or whatever and Rezi should toootally date.”

Dirk sighed. “They already do, dipshit.”

“Wait, really? Hot damn, I really do have a knack for this!” Dirk sighed. Roxy was pleasantly surprised, as she actually had no clue those two were together.

Dirk said, “Why have you all of the sudden decided that Eridan and I should date? I mean, you mentioned it earlier, but I assumed that was a joke.”

“I wasn’t joking, but I hadn’t really thought about it until last night. And it’d just be so cute! I mean, like, REEEEAAAALLY fucking cute!! I don’t have tooooo much evidence, but it’s a gut feeling, you know? So now, along with our previous mission, my mission is to get you a date with Eridan Ampora.” Dirk sighed. What was this, the third time? Probably.

“As long as you don’t let it get in the way of our other mission, I’m down.”

“Of course I wouldn’t!!! I’m not a dick.” Dirk was about to argue with her about that when he got a text.

 

**Eridan**

um hey i wwas wwonderin if i could come ovver soon

maybe

if you dont wwant me to thats fine too

 

Dirk was about to grab his phone when Roxy grabbed it first. “OOOO! What’s this? A text? From Eridan? About coming over? Soon? Hell fucking yes.” Roxy said with a mischievous grin.

“Hey. Please don’t.” Dirk said in a tone that was even but definitely pissed.

“Fuck, fiiiiiiine. I won’t just say yes. Still not giving you back your phone though. Okay, um, may I ask why he wants to? Don’t worry I’ll use your perfect syntax and everything.”

“If you wish.” Same tone.

 

**Me**

Why do you want to?

I’m fine with it. Just curious.

**Eridan**

um

wwell

cro is kinda bein a huge dick

and my dad is no better

plus youre a pretty cool dude

so i might as wwell spend a free day hangin wwith someone that doesnt make me wwanna die

 

“Ok I did. He says it’s because Cro and his dad are being dicks.” Dirk was annoyed. He obviously said it was okay in a tone that meant it wasn’t.

“So, same as always.”

“OOO! He thinks you’re pretty cool.”

“That’s just a fucking fact, Rox. I’m cool as shit.”

“And you don’t make him wanna die!! That’s an accomplishment.”

“Is it though?”

“I’m going to say it is!! Also, I changed his contact name in your phone.” Dirk looked. It was… well, it was definitely something Roxy would do. He knew that if he tried to change it Roxy would just find a way to change it to something worse, so he stuck with it. Plus, it was kinda funny. Not really, but enough for Dirk to decide it was fine. He wasn’t planning on letting Eridan over today, because he wanted to work out some stuff with Roxy about the other thing she still hadn’t told him about yet. But, hey, if Roxy already agreed to it, he can’t just randomly decline. Plus, Eridan would be entertaining company.

 

**Me**

Makes sense.

Come over in about 2 or 3 hours, I just woke up.

**ur a wizzard, eri AKA BAE <3333**

oh

im sorry if i wwoke you up

**Me**

Don’t be, Roxy woke me up.

See you then.

**ur a wizzard, eri AKA BAE <3333**

yeah see you then i guess

 

Roxy threw the phone at Dirk, and somehow he caught it. “So what’s this about figuring out how to stop Dave?”

“Weeeell, I only got one of the things. And it was so simple, I guessed we just kinda forgot about it??”

“Spit it out please. I’m tired.”

“Taking nude pictures of a minor and posting them online is illegal.” Dirk facepalmed.

“How the fuck did we not realize that?”

“Shit, idk. Probs because like I said, it was so simple we forgot.”

“We are so fucking stupid.”

“Dude, you are just now realizing that? Wow.” Dave yelled from outside the door.

Dirk yelled, “Get in here.” Dave entered the room. “Have you been eavesdropping?” Dirk asked.

“Nah, I just heard ‘We are so fucking stupid’ as I was walking past and I decided to respond to that, because, goddamn, that’s pretty fucking true. Dirk really is fucking stupid.” Then Dave gave one of those signature Strider™ smirks once he noticed Dirk got a little annoyed. Just a little. Dirk returned the favor. The passive aggressive tension was not unheard of, but it was getting quite palpable in the room. It was obvious that Dave was still a little pissed that Dirk was against him on the whole “See Karkat’s House” thing. Just a little. And Dirk was definitely a little upset that Dave was being unreasonable and of course just haaad to do something right as Roxy and him agreed to protect the werewolves identities, and then Dave wouldn’t back off of Karkat and basically made a bet over something and one of the consequences was something that Dirk just remembered was _SUPER FUCKING ILLEGAL._ Just a little. Roxy looked uncomfortable. Just a little. Then Dave left, shutting the door behind him, without a word. Roxy let out a breath. Dirk massaged the space between his eyes. The second afterward Dirk realized he hadn’t told Dave that what he was planning on doing was super fucking illegal. Dirk sighed.

“I swear to fucking god if he does one more thing to tick me off, I’m going to have to strife with him.” Roxy made a horrified face.

“Nononononono. No. If you do, you know what will happen.”

“You mean Bro will fucking join in and get this fucking close to killing us? Yeah, but I’m angry and tired. Plus, you knew that threat was empty. I’m not that fucking stupid, Roxy.”

“No, I did not know that threat was empty. When you’re like this, your sarcasm gets a little hard to pick apart from the rest of your speech.”

“Yeah yeah.” Roxy was probably really right, like usual. It made Dirk even more annoyed than before. “Now, if you wouldn’t mind getting the fuck out, I need to prepare for my unexpected hang out with Eridan.” With a wink and a flourish, Roxy left. Dirk sighed™. Yep, it has happened so much in this chapter that I, the author, hope to fucking trademark it every time from now on. I might do the same with Just a little™. We’ll see what my mood is the next time it’s mentioned. Second or third or fourth, and definitely not the last, fourth wall break aside, Dirk quickly took a shower, got dressed, and ate a slice of pizza. He then decided to practice his sword fighting, because even if those threats towards Dave were empty, he knew that soon enough he’d need to protect someone from some asshole. It was a gut feeling. Also, sword fighting is super fucking fun. Why not do it in your free time? Dirk was also kinda pissed off still, and the practice calmed him down. Somehow, he ended up breaking a vase, _Why do we fucking even own a vase,_ and it made the stupid fucking stock sound effect from cartoons. You know the one. It made him both less and more angry. More angry, because fucking goddamn it it HAD to be the stock sound effect in cartoons. Less because that’s actually kinda funny and breaking things is fun. Once he’s cleaned up the vase, _But like seriously, Why the fuck do we have and when the fuck did we get this vase?_ , he heard a knock. Eridan had showed up. Damn, it’s already been 2 hours? Shit, he’s even half an hour late. He ran to the door, making sure that Bro didn’t answer, and said, “Hey.” Dirk could’ve sworn Eridan blushed when they made eye contact, but he put it off as a trick of the shitty lighting and his shades. It was kinda hard to tell anyway as Eridan was wearing his over the top clothing and a hood that basically covered his face.

“Hey.” Eridan almost whispered. Eridan looked at about where Dirk's eyes were. He looked like he was on the verge of crying. He was also bleeding from a cut on his face. “Look I’m sorry I fuckin just couldn’t take Cro’s shit anymore.”

“No, don’t be. You’re half an hour late for our hang out, anyway.” Dirk said in the most calming voice he could muster. Seeing Eridan like this, it fucking hurt. Eridan looked really fucking upset. Dirk gave him the most endearing smile he could. It probably wasn’t that great, because he usually didn’t have to comfort people, but holy mother of shitdicks his empathy was kicking his ass, and if he hadn’t done something to help Eridan, he was pretty sure it would kill him. He wanted to rush up and grab Eridan and soothe him and make him stop making that face that made everything seem sad and hopeless. Eridan grinned a bit once he saw Dirk smiled. That did something. Dirk tried his best to forget that something ever happened. He really did.

“Yeah, yeah.” The grin got a little bigger and sweeter. Just a little™. It did a little bit more of that something. Just a little™. Then, it faded. The smile turned into that hopeless grimace. Then, it got even worse. So much worse.  Then, Eridan began to cry. “I-It’s just… Cro fuckin… He… An’ my dad… They...” Eridan couldn’t even finish the sentence because he was crying. As he tried to speak,, Eridan began to also get angry. Angry that he couldn’t speak properly. Dirk could tell because his voice had more tension every time he attempted to speak.

Dirk grabbed Eridan and put him in the best hug he could possibly give, all the while muttering, “Shhhh… It’s okay. You’re okay. Your dad and Cro are huge fucking douches, alright? Shh…” He began to pet Eridan’s head. And it knocked away the hood. Eridan was definitely blushing. For sure. And that did the same something his smile did earlier. So did the fact Eridan hugged him back. And pressed his face into Dirk’s chest. Dirk hugged Eridan a little tighter to distract himself from that something. Eridan hissed in pain. Dirk immediately let go and looked in Eridan’s eyes. In his worry, somehow his shades ended up on his forehead. “Shit shit shit, what did I do? I’ve never really been good at this comforting thing, and now I’ve hurt you. Fuck! Are you okay?” Eridan froze. And flushed. The kid turned bright fucking red. The tears continued to flow, as he blushed. He looked really fucking embarrassed. And that something happened. A lot. It made Dirk flush a bit. Just a little™.

“No, no, I’m fine. You just, uh, pressed against a bruise on my back I got from accidentally backin up into the counter.” Dirk knew that was bullshit. But he didn’t press it. Eridan still looked pretty upset. Then of course, Dave and Bro walked into the main room. Dirk, in one fluid motion, pulled his shades down over his face, and got into some position that didn’t look like two tall teenagers just had a hugfest. Eridan did the same, but once the hood was over his face it didn’t really matter. Dave and Bro knew what was up, because Dirk was still blushing. They probably assumed more had happened than what actually did, but Dirk couldn’t tell them because that would mean admitting to the hug and the something. So, he just had to pretend none of it happened for fear of admitting something happened.

“So, Eridan, want to go chill in my room.” Dirk said. _Fucking smoother than silk._

“Uh, sure. Let me just fuckin grab my shit.” Eridan grabbed an overfilled duffel bag and followed Dirk into Dirk’s room. Once they were there, Eridan let his hood fall a little less over his face. It was easier to see him now, and he was still blushing. And crying a bit.

“Hey, now that we’re alone, and you seem to have calmed down a bit, would you mind trying to tell me what’s up?”

“W-Well, Cro w-was bein a douche as usual, and I w-wanted to come ower. W-When he found out I had texted you, he began to tease me. He know-ws that w-we’re friends and all that, but he began to say some thins I’d rather not repeat, and then just as I w-was about to flip my shit, my dad show-wed up.” Dirk’s eyes widened. “He had gotten a promotion and asked for a day off so he could celebrate. He w-was drunk ewen though it w-was the middle of the day. I w-was about to leave w-when he began yellin at me. I’m still not sure w-why. He threw-w some stuff, some got a bit too close to my head to be considered not aimed at me. And one actually hit me, that’s w-why I’m bleedin… He just kept on yellin, and he didn’t let me leawe for a w-while… I had to just push past him and run. It’s okay if I stay here for a w-while, right? At least, for a day?” Eridan was crying more now, but he could still talk. Dirk felt… worse than he thought possible.

“Eridan, if I said no, I would deserve to be decapitated afterwards. Stay here as long as you like.” Eridan looked at him with a sliver of happiness. Oh look, there’s that something again.

“Really? Fuckin... Thanks! Also, before I forget, please don’t tell anyone about this.”

“Why not? It would better the situation, wouldn’t it?” Eridan looked at him with something that said that quite the opposite would occur. Then Dirk realized that it would force Eridan into foster care, and then Eridan would have to keep the secret from his own family too. “Actually, I think I understand. I won’t say anything.”  Eridan wiped his tears and smiled a little. That something™ can be a little bitch. Dirk smiled a little back. Just a little™.Eridan found a corner of Dirk’s room and unloaded his clothing and a sleeping bag. Most of it was really fucking heavy. There was one garment that wasn’t. It looked… Forest-y. It was a vibrant orange and reddish purple and made of leaves. Dirk saw Eridan blush when he saw it. Then Eridan saw Dirk staring. He flushed deeper and tried to hide the garment. Dirk reddened a little and turned away. Just a little™. “Sorry for staring. I just wanted to see what you brought and I guess I spaced out.”

“It’s alright. I just brought my faworite clothes.” Dirk saw the disdain in Eridan’s eyes as he looked over most of the clothing. The one piece of clothing Eridan looked at with care was the leafy garment. It was almost spring, and he knew that that was when the heat from the clothing would go from necessary to uncomfortable. Then summer would make it unbearable. There was also the added fact that Eridan was a werewolf, so that would add to the discomfort.

“I’ve never seen that leafy one before. How can it be your favorite if you never wear it?”

“Uh, w-well, Kan just made it for me. I took it because she gawe it to me as I w-was leavin, and I didn’t hawe the courage to try and take it home.”

“Ah.” Eridan folded most of his clothes and put them back in the duffel bag.

“Hey, if you w-wouldn’t mind, I’m gonna show-wer.” Dirk pointed him towards the shower. “Thanks.” Eridan went in and Dirk heard the water get turned on. He also heard Eridan make a noise that could only describe happy feelings. It made Dirk smile a bit. Dirk decided now was around the time he needed to tell Bro and Dave about what was going on. He made it to the kitchen and once Bro and Dave saw him, they both Strider smirked™ and Dirk sighed™.

“So, Dirk, how’s it going with Eridan?” said Bro, in the most irritating voice ever. Dirk ground his teeth a bit.

Dirk responded, “He’s going to be staying with us for a while. He needs to hide from his dad and his brother.”

“Why?” Dave asked.

“Because they…” Dirk faltered. He said he wouldn’t tell anyone. “Private reasons.”

“Mhm. So you two are just friends, right?” Bro said. It was the most coy thing Dirk had ever heard and it was pissing him off.

“Yes.” Dirk replied through clenched teeth. “Just. Friends.”

“Okay. Gotcha.” Dave winked after he said that in the most agitating voice Dave could muster.

“Oh, hey Dave? You know that bet between you and Karkat? Yeah, you can’t do the whole picture thing. Because it’s fucking illegal.” Dirk spat. He was fucking pissed and anything he could do to bite back would help. Dave’s eyes widened.

“Wait, shit. I didn’t… I’m… Fuck.” Dave looked very upset. He was running his hands through his hair and pulling on it.

“What bet?” Bro asked. Dirk was surprised at this question. He would’ve expected Dave to brag to him at the first chance he got.

“Dave has always wanted to go to Karkat’s house, but Karkat always tried to change the subject whenever it was brought up, so Dave set up a bet with Karkat so that if Dave ever beat Karkat at Mario Kart, Dave would finally get to see Karkat’s house, as long as until Dave succeeded, he didn’t mention it. Once Dave won, Karkat was given 3 weeks to organize a date and time. If he didn’t, Dave was allowed to take a picture of Karkat nude and post it on the internet. But that’s super fucking illegal.” Dirk said. There was a fire behind Bro’s shades. Bro was fucking pissed.

Bro spun his head towards Dave and said, “What. The. Fuck??? Dave, Karkat is a minor! Plus, there are multiple reasons Karkat wouldn’t want you to see his house. It doesn’t fucking matter which, but if your friend, the dude you are super fucking in love with, says that he doesn’t want to talk about his house, you don’t. Fucking. Talk. About. His. House! You don’t push his boundaries! And don’t give me that look, we all know you are head over heels in love with Karkat.” Dave was crying now.

“I-I’m sorry. Shit, I didn’t realize it was illegal. And, fuck, I suck at Mario Kart, I never expected to win. I just… I wanted to have a shot at seeing Karkat’s house. It was the one thing he really kept private. I understand the boundary thing, but… Fuck. I don’t know why I wanted to so bad, but I did and… Shit.” Dave was on the verge of balling, like, straight up falling apart. “I didn’t… I’m… Shit… Fuck, I’m sorry.”

“Tell that to Karkat. And the bet is off. If I hear one more thing about this bet, or something similar, you’re fucking grounded for as long as I decide in that moment, alright?” Bro was looking into Dave’s eyes through their shades. Dave nodded, then bolted to his room, where Dirk heard him crying. Bro was scary when he was mad. Fucking terrifying.

“Hey, Bro, I understand the need to punish him, but wasn’t that, I dunno, a little too much?”

“I don’t know. Probably.” Bro sighed. “It’s just… It was kinda similar to the whole Jake thing.” Dirk tensed. “You, unintentionally, bullied Jake into dating you. I just… I needed to be sure the boundary thing was ingrained into you two, as you both have crossed boundaries. I can understand you, especially since I did something similar in my youth, but Dave? I would expect for him to understand privacy. He’s such a private person.” Yeah, because you taught him that feelings aren’t manly and that you need to pretend that everything is fine and dandy when it isn’t. He guards his emotions now. Dirk wanted to say those things, but he knew that Bro knew them just as much as he did. “I mean, none of us ever talk about the stuff he’s private about.”

“Well, you did tonight. Like, just now.”

“Huh?”

Dirk sighed™.“The whole Dave and Karkat thing… Dave always avoids talking about his feelings about Karkat. We all understood that it was kinda just something we all knew but didn’t mention.”

Bro sighed again. “Fuck, I guess you’re right. I was caught in the moment and I didn’t think. I’ll apologize to him when he gets back.” That was the good thing about Bro. When Dirk or Dave told him he fucked up, he usually believed them, unless he knew they were either bullshitting him or it was some kind of maturity thing, which it usually wasn’t. Bro knew he was prone to fuck ups because his parents basically subconsciously taught him trusting anyone or any situation is bad and that if you do, you will die, and other dangerous thought processes similar to it. So, Bro prepared his sons like those were true, just a bit more actively than his parents did. Bro knew he was nowhere near the best parent. In fact, he knew he was a pretty shitty father, but he tried his best. Unfortunately, until a few years ago, Dave and Dirk didn’t realize that they could tell him he fucked up. The things he did then are irreversible, and they’ve both decided to put it in the past, but… Some of the stuff he did… It will never really heal. And all of them know that. Bro still apologizes about it for hours on end some days.

Dave came back in and showed Bro that he texted Karkat about the bet, and that it was off. Bro nodded, apologized, saying he also crossed a boundary. And they hugged. It was nice.

Dirk then said, “Hey, I’m all for this, but I need you to promise not to bother Eridan about 1. Why he’s staying here. And 2. If we’re in a relationship or not. He’s…” Dirk scratched the back of his head. “A little sensitive and I don’t want him to get upset nor do I want him to think I implied we were together when I didn’t. Also, if I signal you to avoid a certain subject, don’t bring it up okay? Please?” They both reluctantly nodded, and with a sigh™ of relief, Dirk wandered back into his own room. Then, in some strange trick of light, Dirk saw Eridan through a mirror, but could only see the front. He was in the leaf thing from earlier. He looked… Well, he looked really fucking happy. He looked comfortable. And he was blushing. And, Dirk had to admit, it made Eridan look pretty fucking hot. Like, really fucking hot. In fact, Dirk blushed a bit too. Maybe a little bit more than a bit. Just a little™. He then realized this was probably a breach of privacy and ran back upstairs as quickly and quietly as possible. He was still red when he got there and Dave and Bro gave him a look. He covered his face and muttered, “If you say one goddamn thing, I will end you.” He wiped the image from his memory in an attempt to free himself from the menace that is his bodily functions. It worked.

“I’d like to see you try.” Dave replied. Dirk flipped him off. Dave returned the favor. Bro laughed.

“Hey, what do you want for dinner?” Bro asked after he finished laughing.

“Dude, can we have some like, pizza or something?” Dave requested.

“Of fucking course. Ordering the usual plus a bit for Eridan.” Bro pulled out his phone and began to order the pizza.

“Oh shit. Uh, I forgot, but Eridan usually just eats fruit. He’ll eat other stuff, but the majority of his diet is fruit. Do you mind if I like buy some?” Dirk said. The Striders’ main meals consisted of takeout and pizza, and although Eridan had eaten the Chinese that one time he came over, if he was going to be staying with Dirk, Dirk knew he’d need to get something to accommodate Eridan’s tastes and possibly needs.

Bro replied, “Knock yourself out,” and continued his conversation on the phone.

Dirk went to his room and without looking, just in case Eridan was still wearing that one outfit, he said, “Hey, uh, you and I are going to the supermarket after this in order to get you some fruit, since that’s usually all you eat. That okay?”

He heard Eridan call, “Yeah, sounds great. I’ll be ready in a bit, okay?”

Dirk replied, “Yeah, see you then, I guess.” _Jesus fucking christ, I’m usually more eloquent with my words, aren’t I? What the fuck is up with that? I’ve been stuttering and saying unnecessary words and I’m so unsure of what I’m saying. What. The. Fuck._ Eridan then appeared in the doorway. He was wearing a baggy hoodie and some jeans. The hoodie was that same reddish purple and it had a seahorse on it. Eridan hadn’t put his hood on yet, so he made eye contact with Dirk for a few seconds. Dirk noticed the purple was the same color as his eyes, and that, fuck, it was kinda adorable. Eridan looked so… Innocent isn’t the right word but it’s the closest thing one can use to describe his facial expression at that exact moment. It was just open and pure. That something™ was about to destroy Dirk from the inside out.

“Alright, I’m fuckin ready. Let’s go.”

“Uh, yeah. Ok. Hope you don’t mind walking.”

Eridan replied, “I don’t.” Dirk was pretty sure he did due to the tone of his voice, but he didn’t say anything about it. With that, they walked in awkward silence to the grocery store. Eridan picked out a ton of fruit that he liked. It was actually pretty expensive, but they bought it and brought it home. It probably should’ve taken three trips but somehow they did it in one. When they got there, the pizza had arrived. Seeing how much fruit was purchased caused Bro to do a spit take. Yeah, that much. Eridan sat down and began devouring the fruit and sipping on some soda while the Strider clan ate way too much pizza for their own good. At the end of it all, Eridan looked content and the Striders were done with eating. Unless you mean doritos, mountain dew, or any orange soda. In which case, _they will never be done eating_. Eridan yawned and said he was going to sleep. Dirk said that he would join him downstairs. Eridan seemed to tense at first, but then pretended it was fine. Dirk didn’t know how to respond, so he just pretended he didn’t notice. Plus, it only seemed like Eridan tensed. Maybe Dirk was imagining it. Maybe Dirk was being paranoid. Maybe it’s Maybelline. Who fucking knows.

Once they got down there, Eridan lowered his hood. Eridan was blushing, and Dirk thought it was a little cute. Just a little™. Dirk realized he was staring and looked away. At that exact moment, Roxy texted him.

 

**Pop Rox**

heyyy

so

hows the hangout goin ;)

**Me**

It’s going quite well.

In fact, Eridan is going to be staying with us for a while due to family issues.

**Pop Rox**

:o really??

shit

well at least that means you two will have to spend more time together

bc according to science

absence doesnt make the heart grow fonder

so now ive got an even bigger shot at being right

wait

wont it be like hella obv that u kno hes a werewolf if u keep on acting like hes some foreign being

i mean b4 u could just act that way

but now that hes stayin there

u gotta be sure to make it so he doesnt know we know

or something

**Me**

No shit, Rox.

Don’t worry, I’ve got it covered.

**Pop Rox**

but anyway

do u have a crush on him yet ;)

 

Dirk had considered telling her about the something™ that he’d been feeling all day, but then he realized she’d tease him or take matters even more so into her own hands. He couldn’t let that happen. Plus, that was probably nothing. Nothing at all.

 

**Me**

No.

**Pop Rox**

omg u totally do dont u

haha im so right

 

Fucking Roxy and always being so right about when he was being tricky.

 

**Me**

I just told you, I don’t.

**Pop Rox**

sure jan

you know im kidding right

but i think we both know that although ur denyin it

somethin inside is waitin

or at least i hope it is 

bc i bet on this, di-stri

so i really fuckin hope u and eri date

plus itd just be so fuckin cute and i dont think u realize that

 

Dirk sighed™. And flopped in bed. In a couple moments, Eridan came through. It was not that late, but Dirk was tired. He wished Eridan a good night and drifted to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for my end notes, i just wanted to thank Luneth for being the best writing senpai ever like holy fuck  
> they read everything and comment every time  
> they're always so nice and if i fuck up the call me out politely and i try and fix it  
> also they are writing something in which Dirk has a kinda crush on Eridan  
> and the sequel will have full on eridirk  
> its like my favorite u should read it  
> do it  
> do it  
> but ye Luneth is my only lifeline without them this would've gone to shit so  
> bless them  
> Edit: ok, so i realized i might've accidentally said that dave and dirk forgave their abuser  
> and thats not what i mean  
> like  
> they did  
> but only because bro apologized for it a million times and acknowledged that he was shitty and stuff  
> and that he didnt mean to do what his family had done to him  
> he just didnt realize thats not how ur supposed to raise kids  
> until one of daves friends came over and fucking flipped  
> so  
> he feels bad about it and stuff  
> and im not saying u should forgive ur abuser  
> at all  
> just that  
> in this circumstance, they did  
> and maybe u wouldntve if u were in their situation  
> thats fine  
> but they did  
> also roxy is just teasing dirk  
> she doesnt know that shes so very right  
> she just wants to push his buttons a bit  
> also part 2  
> dualscar doesnt do this on a regular basis  
> but he does it enough that eridan needs to get away  
> actually u know what  
> i'm just going to acknowledge that im a piece of shit and just say  
> sorry for being an ass and doing all the wrong things when writing this shit  
> vapor out


	7. Self Inserting Because I'm an Asshole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan and Dirk get coffee, argue, argue with others, then draw, and then be awkward for a moment. Eridan talks to Karkat for a long while, and then Dirk asks something that way I have an idea of how to start the next chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 20,000 WORDS WOOO  
> ok so  
> i'm just going to apologize for the self insert right out of the gate  
> i justify it with the fact i don't think eridan would get along with anyone that would work at the coffee shop  
> but i know its just because i wanted to write myself, as a barista, talking to eridan and dirk  
> fight me  
> also they wont have very much plot relevance anymore  
> maybe like one thing  
> but afterwards just them being a barista  
> im sorry  
> edit 4/24/16: gave my self insert a typing/speaking quirk. forgot about that.

Eridan woke up pretty late, at least, that’s what Eridan thought until he realized the entire Strider household was still asleep at 11 AM. She was really groggy, as he didn’t usually wake up this late, but she knew that if his secret was to be kept, he’d have to wake up earlier than the rest and quickly get into human clothes, and although today she had done the former on accident, the latter still needed to be accomplished. He hurried, and got into his favorite sweatshirt, the one that matched his eyes and had a seahorse on it, and put on some jeans. She realized that she wore this yesterday when she went out to get food with Dirk, but hey, it was her favorite. If anyone judged him, they could fuck off. Once he was dressed, he walked out of the bathroom and saw Dirk had woken up.

“Hey.” She said.

Dirk hissed in pain and hoarsely said, “Hi.”

“W-What’s w-wrong?”

“I have a huge fucking headache right now.”

After a brief moment, Eridan offered, “Coffee?”

“Fuck yes.”

Another moment. “Is it okay if w-we go out and get it? Because the Green Sun Cafe has the best coffee ewer.”

A groan from Dirk, then, “Yeah, okay. Just let me get dressed.” Dirk sat up. He was topless. Eridan flushed. It wasn’t as if this was the first time she had seen Dirk topless, but it still made her flustered. Every. Goddamn. Time. Dirk got up, put on some black jeans, his shades, and a white, long sleeved shirt. He looked over at Eridan. “Okay, let’s go.” Eridan nodded and pulled his hood over his head. Once they got outside, Dirk made a face. “Uh, lead the way, I guess.” Eridan nodded again and led Dirk to the caffeinated heaven that was the Green Sun Cafe. As they walked in, Eridan noticed his favorite barista was working. Eridan didn’t know their name, or their gender. They were very andorogynous, something Eridan envied. They were always so kind when she came, and today was the day he was going to try and make a friend. Plus, he was curious what pronouns to use in his head. It was mostly curiosity about what gender they were, though.

“Hello! How can I help you?”

“Hi, I w-would like a medium peppermint mocha. Dirk?”

“Hm? Ah, I will have a large cappuccino, with an extra shot of espresso.”

“Got it! That will be 10.91, please.” Eridan pulled out her wallet and paid. “Okay! I’ll get those for you ASAP!” It took them about 5 minutes to do both things. Eridan handed Dirk his drink and they sat in silence for a while. It was awkward, so Eridan wandered over to the barista.

“Hey, you’re usually w-workin w-when I come here, so I’we alw-ways w-wanted to ask, w-what’s your name?”

“Oh! Vapor Read, at your service.” _wwoww evven an andorogynous name this is gonna be harder than i thought and fuck it has a ‘vv’ in it im gonna pronounce their name wwrong shit_ “And you are?”

“Eridan. Ampora.”

“Wow, that’s a pretty name!”

“Thanks?”

“Sorry, weird thing to say, but I really like it.”

“It’s fine. Uh, anyw-way, I w-was w-wonderin…” _fuck just ask outright_ “W-What pronouns do you prefer?” _nice its more subtle than straight up but enough so i can figure it out perfect_

“Oh! Thank you for asking! He, she, or they work. Whatever’s easiest! You?” _fuck that didnt help a ton_

“Alternatin between he and she, but if it’s too much of an inconwenience, just he is fine.”

“Are you genderfluid? Pardon my asking, but the only time I’ve ever heard someone request alternation is when they were genderfluid. I know others do, but in my exxxperience, it’s just been genderfluid folk.” Eridan noticed they held the letter x for longer than they should

“Yes.”

“Cool! I’m agender.” Eridan cocked her head a bit. “It means I don’t have one.”

“Oh.” Eridan remembered someone mentioning that term to them a while back. Couldn’t remember who, though.

“Yeah. It’s fun whenever someone asks ‘Are you a boy or a girl?’! I get to answer ‘No, fuck off.’, and they’re always very confused and a little offended. I find people being confused and offended very entertaining.” Vapor laughed, almost evilly. Eridan smiled a little. Just a little™. “Oh! Hi!” Eridan turned around. Dirk was standing very close to him, with what looked like a forced smile. “Can I help you?” Vapor cheerfully asked.

“No. I was just curious what was happening over here.”

“Oh, I was just chatting with Eridan here. And you are?”

“Dirk.”

“Vapor!” They outstretched a hand. Dirk shook it very rigidly. They seemed to notice, and their smile faltered. “Well, it was nice to meet the both of you! Eridan, might I have your number?”

“Oh. Yeah. W-Would you hand ower your phone?”

“Let me unlock it first.” They did so, then they did a few other things. “Here you are!” It was already open to a contact named “Eri Potter” with a crystal ball emoji. Eridan was a little amused.

“You realize Harry Potter sucked a diwination.”

“Of course I do! It’s the closest thing they had to anything wizzzard-y so bear with me here.” They also held on to their z's. Huh. Eridan typed her number in and handed it back to Vapor. Vapor typed a quick thing and Eridan’s phone chimed. “There! Now you have mine, too. Have a nice day!” Eridan looked Vapor in the eyes, through their glasses, and noticed something.

Cat eye pupils.

“You too.” Vapor turned around, their hair flipping and showing off their pointy ears. Fae. Eridan didn’t have time to deal with this new information as Dirk was already speeding out the door. He looked very unhappy. “Dude, w-what the fuck is your deal?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You w-were bein rude to Wapor.”

“Oh, are you upset that I was being rude to your new friend?” It would’ve painfully obvious to all but Eridan that when Dirk said friend he meant significant other or at least crush had they been in a group, but it was just them, so no one could tell Eridan that Dirk was jealous. Dirk didn’t know he was jealous, either, but hey. What can you do.

“Yes!”

Dirk sighed™. “Look, I apologize for being rude, okay?”

“Thank you.” It was silent for a solid minute or two.

“You never told me you were genderfluid.” Dirk muttered. _he sounded a little… hurt but wwhy wwould he be hurt by that? that makes no fuckin sense_

“I didn’t think I needed to. I’m fine w-with people assumin I’m a boy, ewen if it don’t describe me.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

“W-Wait, how-w did you know-w that? I only told that to Wapor. W-Wait, w-were you eavesdroppin?” Dirk flushed.

“Maybe.”

“Jesus fuckin Christ, Dirk! That’s a breach a priwacy!” Eridan didn’t realize how hypocritical she was being with that statement.

“I didn’t mean to.”

“Sure you didn’t.”

“Look, I’m-”

“I don’t need anymore a your apologies right now.” Eridan was very unhappy.

Right as they reached Dirk’s house, Dirk said, “So, could I do the whole alternating pronouns thing?”

“A course!” _wwhy wwould you evven ask that fuckin question_

“If I did, would you stop being mad at me?” _oh thats wwhy_

“Somew-what, yeah.”

“Ok, I will try then.” They walked in. Bro and Dave were up. “Yo, why the fuck are you two up? It’s Sunday and it’s 12 PM. You usually wake up around 3. Striders have standards, you know.”

Dave retorted, “You realize we could be asking the same question of you, right?” Dirk’s cheeks got red.

“Eridan woke me up, by accident, when he woke up and we got coffee. Is that a crime?” Bro and Dave exchanged some kind of look and Dirk’s blush got worse.

“Aw, you had a nice coffee date?” Dave teased. It was now Eridan’s turn to blush and Dirk got angry. Dave went white. Well, the color drained from his face. “Shit, sorry.” Dirk nodded. Eridan was still flustered. Dirk glanced over, and when he noticed Eridan looked flustered, he got a bit pinker. At least, that’s what it looked like from Eridan’s point of view. Those set of observations didn’t help her situation. Dave began to grin again. So, it was a boy and a genderfluid faerie on one side of the room, both bright red, and two grinning, coy, asshats on the other.

Bro’s grin became evil as he said, “Dirk, did you get so distracted this morning that you forgot to redo your hair?” Dirk somehow blushed harder.

“I think I’m going to faint.” Eridan heard Dirk mutter.

“W-Why’s that important?” Eridan heard himself say. He wanted to say it, but he thought he had decided not to ask. Apparently not.

Dave smirked and said, “The last time Dirk forgot to do his hair, it was after a sleepover with Jake. About a year ago.” Eridan knew exactly when that had happened. Fuck, it was her job to know. That was around the time Dirk was basically a love-sick puppy. Somehow, probably because a very awful author decided it so, Eridan did not connect the fact that Dirk forgot to the fact he was in love, or at least on the way. Dirk had, but denial is a strong thing. A very strong thing.

“And the significance is?” Eridan asked.

“Holy fuck, you haven’t made the connection?” Dave laughed.

Eridan blushed and said, “No…”

Dirk glared at Dave, Dave whimpered and muttered, “It’s not important.” Dirk looked satisfied.

“Then w-why did you brin it up?”

“Because he’s a little shit.” Dirk said. Eridan was very confused. And a little pissed off. Just a little™. But mostly confused. “Eridan, would you like to leave the room?” Dirk sounded much more than pissed off.

“Yes.”

“Okay, I will go with you.” And the two went to Dirk’s room.

“W-What the fuck w-was that?”

“My brother and my dad being awful.”

“Okay, but, w-what w-was w-with all the teasin?”

“Like I said, they were being awful.” Eridan was flustered, confused, and a little upset. She took a sip of her mocha that, although not very warm, still made him feel better. Dirk looked very angry. He went into the bathroom, slammed the door, and Eridan heard a cupboard being opened. Eridan assumed he was doing his hair. She sighed, and pulled out her sketchbook. The Meulin picture was done, and now he had just the basics for another picture of about the same area. She contemplated a bit, then decided to draw Cronus. His hair would be mostly shaved off, save a few patches, and he’d have his mouth sewn shut. About ten minutes in, she decided Cronus was also going to have two brands on his face.

It took half an hour for Dirk to come out with his hair done. It looked nice, but gelled, of course. Eridan itched to remove the gel and just do it with magic, but using magic on humans is bad.

They could go insane from it.

Still, just thinking of doing Dirk’s hair made happiness swell in him. She would be soft, almost massaging Dirk’s head. They’d talk, it’d be nice and sweet. Then, once Dirk’s hair looked like Dirk wanted it, Dirk would do the same to Eridan. Afterwards, in secret, Eridan would rid the gel and style it using his magic, but she wouldn’t tell Dirk. Dirk would probably know, but she would never have the heart to truthfully state it, so Eridan would never know if Dirk knew. Eridan had lots of thought processes like this one, what it would be like if Dirk and him were actually allowed to date.

This one was cut short, by Dirk saying, “What are you drawing?”

“Hm? Oh, it’s gonna be Cro w-with a mostly shawed head, mouth sew-wn shut, and two branded symbols on his face.” The iciness in Eridan’s voiced freaked even himself out.

“Are you imagining that stuff actually happening to Cro?” Eridan nodded. “Because you’re mad at him.”

“Because he teases me until I cry and is the w-worst brother a person could ask for.”

“I don’t doubt that first part, but it could always be worse. I’m not saying he’s not shitty, but I don’t think you can call him the worst.” Dirk looked uninterested, maybe even judgemental towards Eridan’s original statement. But he sat down next to Eridan and watched as Eridan continued sketching. He even pulled up a reference for how a brand looks on facial skin, if freckles make it different, things like that. Eridan was probably blushing the whole time, but she was happy. When they finally finished, after about 3 hours or so, Eridan signed it in the corner, looked up, and met Dirk’s eyes, or at least, hoped he did. They were both a little pink. It turned to bright red and they both looked away. Eridan was contemplating what to say to try and break the tension when she got a text.

 

**kar**

HEY

ASSHOLE

I NEED TO SPEAK TO YOU

**Me**

wwhat do you need kar

**kar**

THE WHOLE SOLLUX PLAN THING. I THINK I FUCKED IT UP.

**Me**

howw so

**kar**

I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE JUST MADE OUT WITH DAVE.

**Me**

wwhat

i wwould congratulate you if that didnt fuck evverythin up

**kar**

IT WAS JUST A SIMPLE HANG OUT.

WHEN ALL THE SUDDEN HE WAS KISSING ME AND I COULDN’T HELP MYSELF.

I’VE HAD THE BIGGEST CRUSH ON THIS FUCKER FOR, WHAT, 5 YEARS.

THERE WAS NO WAY IN HELL I WASN’T GOING TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY.

IT WAS PROBABLY THE BEST THING EVER.

I’M VERY ANGRY ABOUT IT.

AFTERWARD, I JUST KINDA… PRETENDED IT DIDN’T HAPPEN.

HE LOOKED OFFENDED, WHICH IS GOOD, BECAUSE IF ANYONE HAD CAUGHT US, I’D BE VERY FUCKED.

THOUGH, IT WOULD BE A GOOD THING TO DIE FOR.

ANYWAY, THOUGHTS.

**Me**

wwoww

dude im fuckin livvin wwith dirk right noww

an you cant keep it in your mouth for a fuckin day

jesus kar

**kar**

WAIT, YOU’RE LIVING WITH DIRK RIGHT NOW.

**Me**

yeah

my dad kinda

did that thin again

an i dont really havve the strength to deal wwith it anymore

so i just left

and noww im livvin with dirk

in fact wwe got coffee together this mornin

wwait

fuck

you knoww that barista that is super androgynous

with the brown hair

**kar**

YEAH.

WHAT ABOUT THEM.

ALSO THAT’S TOTALLY A DATE I THINK YOU’VE DONE WORSE THAN ME.

**Me**

fuck you

anywway

i think theyre a faerie

**kar**

WHAT.

FUCK.

DUDE, IF THAT IS TRUE…

HOW THE FUCK DO THEY BLEND IN.

THEY DON’T WEAR HEAVY CLOTHING.

SO UNLESS THEY DON’T HAVE WINGS LIKE TAVROS, THEN THEY HAVE A WAY TO HIDE WINGS.

*FUCK*.

I WONDER IF THEY WOULD MAKE COFFEE THAT’S SWEETENED WITH NECTAR.

OR GENERALLY AIMED TOWARDS FAE.

SORRY, OFF TOPIC.

**Me**

nonono

i think youre onto somethin

because thatd be

the best fuckin coffee evver

**kar**

RIGHT.

DAMN, IT WOULD BE FUCKING FANTASTIC.

WE SHOULD TALK TO THEM ABOUT THAT.

OK.

NOW THAT WE HAVE DISCUSSED THE FUCKING UP.

AND THE FAERIE BARISTA.

TIME TO GOSSIP.

DUDE, DAVE IS A *REALLY* GOOD KISSER.

FUCK, IT WAS AMAZING.

**Me**

really?

good for you kar

im not as lucky as you

the closest i havve gotten to kissin dirk is that fake date

wwell

actually

i think livvin wwith him could possibly be makin him fall in lovve wwith me

actually scratch that thats stupid

at least davve has been in lovve wwith you for like forevver

at least from wwhat ivve heard from the strider clan

**kar**

WAIT, REALLY.

FUCK.

THAT’S BETTER THAN I IMAGINED.

**Me**

yeah

yesterday i heard the oldest one, bro, yellin

an he mentioned you

an from the way he an dirk spoke about it

theyvve knowwn hes liked you for a wwhile

**kar**

HUH.

I’M PRETTY HAPPY ABOUT THAT.

WHAT ABOUT SOLLUX?

IF THE WHOLE POLY THING IS GOING TO WORK, HE NEEDS TO LIKE SOLLUX TOO.

**Me**

actually i doubt hes evven spoke to sol enough to care

an i think itll go about how it did wwith you twwo

**kar**

WHAT DO YOU MEAN.

**Me**

i mean

first hell think sols a prick

because sol is a prick

then theyll become friends

then theyll fall in lovve

or somethin less sappy wwho knowws

**kar**

THAT’S PRETTY OBSERVANT OF YOU.

WAIT, YOU SAID SOLLUX ALREADY WANTS TO POLY DAVE.

HOW CAN HE WANT THAT IF HE’S ONLY SPOKEN TO DAVE A FEW TIMES.

**Me**

i havve twwo hypothesises

or wwhatevver the fuck the plural of hypothesis is

one is that its some kinda masochistic thin an he thinks davve is a prick

an that he deservves someone like davve in order to make up for datin someone

as great as you

an twwo

is that he knowws you lovve davve already an thinks that if you lovve davve

that davve must be at least halfwway decent as a person

or that hes wwillin to deal wwith his prickness in order to be wwith you

fuck thats three kinda

wwhatevver

in the end i think

youll all be in lovve

an i think thats wwhat matters

**kar**

DUDE.

THIS WOULD MAKE A FANTASTIC ROMCOM.

OR JUST ROMANCE.

**Me**

kar as much as i wwanna argue

youre right

fuck

**kar**

YOU KNOW IT.

FUCK, I SHOULD WRITE IT.

**Me**

wwhat if you gavve it to your future boyfriends for anniversary shit

or somethin

thatd be super fuckin romantic

**kar**

THAT’S TRUE.

YOU KNOW WHAT.

I WILL WRITE IT.

FUCK.

FOR SOME REASON, I FEEL LIKE I’VE JUST GIVEN SOMEONE ELSE SOME HUGE RESPONSIBILITY.

WHATEVER.

**Me**

i bet theyll lovve it

evven if davve only likes it for ironic purposes

itll be gay as shit

in human terms a course

**kar**

I HOPE SO.

I PUT MY HEART AND SOUL INTO MY WRITING, ERIDAN.

THEY’D BETTER ORGASM WITH HOW GREAT IT IS.

**Me**

gross

but i agree

 

Dirk had left sometime in the middle of the texting conversation, probably towards the beginning, but he was back to ask, “Hey, I need some new clothes for the spring and summer, and I know you’re kinda a fashionable person, even if you only know hipster fashion. Want to join me?” Dirk looked kind of embarrassed. Eridan nodded, then told her friend that he could no longer talk.

**Me**

uh i gotta go

see ya kar

**kar**

SEE YOU LATER, ASSHAT.

 

Dirk poked his head in the room again. “Oh, and Roxy’s going to be there to.” Eridan nodded and got ready to go shopping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i swear, i'm either feast or famine with these updates  
> but what can you do  
> also, kk was saying he felt like he put responsability on someone  
> that someone was me  
> i will probably write that romcom and their reactions after this fic  
> if y'all are interested  
> edit:  
> pls comment  
> when u guys comment i get the motivation  
> and i get it out that much quicker  
> pls


	8. Let's go to the mall, today.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan, Roxy, and Dirk go to the mall to get Dirk some fancy-ish clothes. Roxy and Eridan become friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey look it didn't take me a million years this time  
> how about that  
> this chapter introduces CallieRox  
> theres so many ships and most of the ones i tag are mentions  
> so sorry if ur here for like kanmitula, neprezi, or gamtav

Shopping is fun. Dirk secretly loves shopping.

But that day, it was torture.

Eridan would look at things, get a willful look in his eye, then turn away and pretend she didn’t want them. It crushed Dirk. Because he knew Eridan wasn’t going to say anything about it. She couldn’t wear the stuff, so why own it? Dirk realized that Eridan probably got at least a few chances to wear the things he liked when he lived with her dad, but now that she was living with Dirk, he could no longer wear those things. It made Dirk feel like shit. Not that Dirk could do anything about it. Like, Eridan did get that short chance the day before with the leafy thing, but Dirk had erased that image from his memory. Plus, they were living together now. Those moments would be few and far between. Also, that statement about living together made it sound like they were in a relationship.

Reminder from me, your favorite author, that most of what I’m describing is Dirk’s thought process from a third person perspective. Keyword is most, but you’ll be able to tell when it’s not something they could know.

Back to the relationship thing, when Dirk thought about that statement, it made him feel odd. Tingly. Anxious, but something positive was beneath it. He brushed it off. Whatever he was feeling was probably nothing, and if it was something, he could address it later. When he thought later, he meant hopefully, never. But fate had other plans.

At some point, Eridan looked particularly enamored with a scarf, but one, it was hella expensive, like most hipster clothing, and two, they were supposed to be getting clothing for warmer weather. Getting a scarf would’ve been weird. At least, that’s what Dirk assumed Eridan was thinking. Dirk had an idea. He pulled out his phone.

 

**Me**

Hey. I need you to knit something.

**Rose**

Oh?

 

Right then, Roxy chose to jump up and peek over her cousin’s shoulder.

“Oooooo! Whatcha textin’ Rosey for?”

“Well, Eridan’s birthday is coming up I think… And I saw her eyeing an expensive scarf, so instead of saving up because holy fuck did it cost a lot, I’m going to ask Rose to knit something similar.”

“Aw! That’s so sweet! You’re a little late, though. From what I can remember, Tula had to help set up for Eridan’s birthday about 2 months ago or something.”

“Why did Latula need to help for Eridan’s birthday?”

“Well, Karkat is like Eridan’s only friend other than you, and Kankri is Karkat’s older brother, and Latula is dating Kankri.”

“I thought she was dating Mituna.”

“They’re poly-ing it up.”

“Ah.” Dirk has never had a problem with polyamory, but this was the first he had heard of it actually happening to someone he knew, and it was a little strange. After a few seconds of consideration, he realized it was more just curiosity how the relationship worked.

“Anywho, why’d you use a feminine pronoun when referring to Danny a few seconds ago?”

“Uh, I think you should ask him about it.”

“Why?”

“One, it’s her business, not mine, if you know. And two, I think you should talk to him. You would probably make great friends.”

“Okay! I’ll talk to them in a bit. First, I wanna catch up with you!”

“We literally talk every day. What do we need to talk about?”

“You know!” Of course Dirk knew, he was just avoiding the subject.

“Really? You’re still pushing that?”

“Mhm! I’m determined!” Dirk sighed™. “Plus, it’s only been a day, Dirk. You think I’d give up that easily?” There was no way in hell Roxy would ever give up that easily ever.

“What do you want to know?”

“Hm… Oh! I know! How often have you found yourself blushing since he moved in?”

“I don’t see why you have to keep pushing this, but… I’d say more often than average…” Dirk knew that statement was not going to help his case, but he just couldn’t lie to Roxy’s face. She would catch him before he was even done talking.

“Oh really?” There’s the signature Lalonde look. Rose gets it whenever Dave makes a very embarrassing Freudian slip, or accidentally proves something she’s been pushing to be right. Roxy wore it then, for the latter reason.

“Yes, okay? But I just tend to get into compromising situations whenever she’s around. It has nothing to do with my intentions.”

“Mhm. Ok, next question. Do you have any specific feelings that you’ve never felt before?” Almost immediately, Dirk tried to hide it. Roxy knew better. “Ah ah ah! I can tell you’re trying to hide something from me, Di-Stri. Don’t you dare.”

Dirk sighed™, then said, “I guess I’ve been feeling a little more nervous lately? Like, sometimes I feel what I would describe as anxiety, but it’s positive. And sometimes, I get this feeling of… excitement is similar but not quite the word… whenever he does something really cute or hot even.” Whoops, that last part was a mistake.

“You’re totally in love with him.” She laughed. Dirk glared at her. “Damn, Strider, it’s been, what, a week? That’s pretty fucking quick if you ask me.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Dirk blurted before he realized what he was saying. His mouth closed with a click once it hit him.

“So you admit it!”

“I never-”

“Don’t go all denial bullshit on me, Dirk. I can tell when you’re lying, and I can tell when you’re hiding behind your words.”

“Look, trust me, I know that most people don’t feel this way towards friends, especially ones they made a week ago, but let me deny my feelings, okay? I feel really fucking dumb for falling this quickly. Plus, I doubt he feels the same towards me. Wouldn’t you get sick of someone you had to follow around all the time?”

“On the contrary, Dirk. I think it’d make me love them all the more.”

“Can I just go back to denying it now?”

“Go ahead. I can’t stop you. Just no more pretending when you’re around me, okay? You can do it with everyone else, but don’t do it with your best friend.” Dirk reluctantly nodded. It wasn’t like she wouldn’t know if he was lying. Roxy grinned and called Eridan over.

“So! Why haven’t you gotten anything yet?” She asked with enthusiasm.

“W-Well, I hawe enough clothes already. Plus, I’d rather just help out.” Dirk and Roxy both knew Eridan was lying, but they both knew why. Werewolves couldn’t risk showing their fur, and Eridan didn’t want to look weird buying clothes usually worn in winter right on the cusp of spring. Even though that clothing would be on clearance, so it’d be super cheap and she could claim it was because of money. They don’t point it out.

“Ok. Well, Dirk still needs to get stuff, but I only know what I would wear and Dirk’s sense of style is mostly just how his hair should look, so any ideas?” Roxy asked. Eridan looked surprised, even though Dirk told him that that was the point of inviting him. Fashion advice. Dirk guessed that Eridan assumed it was to be polite, not to actually ask for fashion advice. “I mean, he’ll probably just wear his hat t-shirt, of which he has 13, and baggy pants, but he needs some more dressy attire.” Dirk knew that was why they came, but he was still a little annoyed by the fact that apparently, his baggy pants and a t-shirt aren’t good enough when you go to certain events. Eridan looked… Excited. And apprehensive, but mostly excited.

“W-What are w-we talkin about?”

“Well, he needs clothes that you would wear to, like, a coffee date with someone you want to think about you in a romantic way.” Roxy quickly looked at Dirk with mischief, then continued talking. “Not specifically, but that’s an example. He needs to look nice and put together without looking too fancy.”

“I see.” Eridan sounded a bit angry, or at the very least, icy.

“And pants and a tee can’t do that?” Dirk whined.

“Nope, and you know that.” Dirk did, he just wanted to get the point across that he really doesn’t want to have to wear fancy clothes. Even though they will still basically be casual.

“I think flannel w-would do the trick, as long as he actually buttons it properly. Both short and long sleewe, if we can find any short sleewe. And, hmm, maybe, jeans? Not necessarily skinny jeans, just at least jeans that fit him. Conwerse for shoes.” Eridan was analysing Dirk. Everywhere. It made Dirk blush. Eridan didn’t seem to notice. “Of course, w-we could just do a regular button up instead a flannel, but flannel is nice, w-what can I say?” Roxy finally noticed Dirk looked mildly embarrassed with the way Eridan was looking at him and smirked.

“I think that’s a fine idea, Danny! Let’s go find some!” Eridan suggested a store.

“Gotcha! Let’s go!” Roxy grabbed Eridan by the sleeve and ran off, with Dirk, still blushing a bit, chasing them down as to not fall behind. It didn’t work too well.

-

Eridan was being dragged through a mall by a cheery teenager.

It was definitely not the weirdest thing that had happened to her.

Roxy was beaming as she said, “So, what do you think about my best cuz Dirk.”

Eridan lied as best as he could. “He’s nice. A good friend, I guess.”

“Mhm.” Roxy sounded suspicious as hell.

“W-Why do you care?”

“Because. He’s my best friend. I wanna be sure he’s in good hands.”

“W-What?” You couldn’t phrase that without sounding like you wanted them to date. Eridan flushed. “I don’t know-w w-what you’re talkin about…”

Roxy smirked as she noticed Eridan’s bright red face. “I know you do, and I know you care more than you let on. I know you know more than you would if circumstances were different, but I trust you. I hope you’ll trust me with this knowledge, and hopefully more in the future, since I bet we’d be great friends! Just know if Dirk ends up sadder than he did after the whole Jake fiasco, I will kill you.” That last part sounded very creepy. Eridan shuddered. But, he was mostly worried about what Roxy said. Did she know something? Eridan hoped she meant something else, because he couldn’t ask without sounding suspicious.

“I’m not plannin on it.”

Roxy’s eyes were lit up as she looked him in the eyes. “I know. Anywho, Dirk used a feminine pronoun earlier when talking about you.” _glad to see hes doin wwhat he said hed do_ “Why?”

“I’m genderfluid. I prefer alternatin pronouns if people remember. If they can’t, just masculine is fine w-with me.”

“Oh! Ok! I’ll do my best to honor your wishes.”

“Thanks, I guess.”

“No problem! Here we are!” They stopped quite suddenly in front of the store. Eridan was sure she probably took many detours to be sure the whole conversation could be had in private. Roxy relinquished her grip on Eridan, and he fell onto the floor.

-

Dirk saw Roxy drop Eridan, and Eridan fell. Dirk, although he was already tired as fuck from chasing Roxy around, ran over and helped Eridan up. Eridan muttered her thanks. Dirk glared at Roxy, and she pulled a faux innocent look.

“I didn’t realize you had fallen so far behind, Dirk. Aren’t Striders known for their speed? I just assumed you could keep up.”

“We’re known for flash-stepping! I can’t flash-step if I don’t know where you’re heading in case I over estimate and then lose you. In fact, I tried and by the time I got there, you had changed direction! You had this wacky zig zag pattern and oh you little fucker you knew that if you ran all jagged I couldn’t catch up.”

Fake gasp from Roxy. “I cannot believe you would accuse me of such.”

“Can we just get this over with?”

“Yes. Let’s go.” Roxy basically skipped in. Dirk and Eridan reluctantly followed. Immediately, Dirk noticed a change in the way Eridan was glancing around. She had a purpose. He was analyzing every piece of clothing. All of the sudden, actually it had been about 5 minutes but Dirk spaced out, Dirk had many piles of clothes thrust into his arms.

“Try these on. They are set as outfits. Don’t w-worry about the size, I hawe a strange talent of being able to tell.” Dirk was pushed into a changing room. He checked the sizes. Holy fuck, she does have a talent. He began to sort the outfits into piles and try them on.

-

Eridan and Roxy were sitting outside the dressing rooms, waiting for Dirk to come back out.

“Wow, you sure got those quickly.”

“This is my faworite store, so I know-w w-where ewerythin is.”

“Then why haven’t you gotten anything for yourself?”

“Like I said, I hawe enough clothes already.”

“I know that’s not the real reason.” Eridan looked down in a mix of embarrassment, shame, and guilt. She pulled her hood even more so over her head, too. “But I won’t push it.” He looked back up into Roxy’s eyes and there she was, smiling at him. His eyes welled up with tears of joy. He had always been quite melodramatic.

“Thanks, Rox.”

“Don’t mention it, Danny boy.” They grinned at each other. At that exact moment, Dirk came out in the first outfit. He was wearing dark wash jeans, his regular shoes, as they were going to get the shoes later, and a orange and blue plaid button up. Eridan just about fainted from how hot it made Dirk. Not that Dirk wasn’t hot, just holy mother of fuck it just became exponentially more so.

“Well, asshats? How do I look?” Dirk was not very amused.

“Fantastic, Strider! Daaamn!” Dirk glanced in Eridan’s direction. And flushed. Roxy grinned. “Go try on your next outfit! This one’s a keeper!” Dirk probably rolled his eyes and walked back in to change. “You okay, Eri?” There was a smirk in her voice.

“Fuck no. I can barely breath. Rox, how-w am I supposed to be okay?”

“And why is that?” _oh hell no, she is bein coy wwhat is it with Strilondes and bein coy?_

“Because Dirk is super fuckin hot and I am wery in lowe w-with him but you can’t tell him or anyone that, okay?” Roxy grinned so wide, Eridan was sure her face should have split in half.

“Why not?”

“Just trust me, okay? If certain people found out, it w-would be wery bad.” Roxy’s grin turned into a look of concern.

“Thank you for trusting me. I won’t tell a soul.” She gave him a sympathetic smile and Eridan smiled back. _holy fuck ivve nevver made friends that quickly before hell yeah_ Dirk walked in once more, light wash jeans and blue, red, and purple flannel on. Eridan quickly grabbed Roxy’s hand for support, because holy fuck he was about to faint from all the blood rushing to his head. Roxy gave a supportive squeeze. He also tugged his hood over his face, because he’d be damned if Dirk noticed how embarrassed he looked.

“Damn, Eri! You knew exactly what Dirk needs to wear to look fucking amazing! Your fashion sense is astounding! Werk it, Dirk!” She laughed. Dirk rolled his eyes. The only reason Eridan knew this is because Dirk made it a point to pull his shades off to show Roxy he was rolling his eyes. It didn’t help the redness in Eridan’s cheeks. She squeezed Roxy’s hand tighter. Roxy gave an apologetic glance and told Dirk to try on the next outfit. Four more to go. Yeah, Eridan found six outfits in 5 minutes. It’s another one of her talents. After Dirk had left, Eridan peeled his hood off so it didn’t hide most of his face, but she still wore it. “You okay?”

“W-Why does Dirk hawe to be so goddamn hot?”

“I don’t know, but it’s probably torture, huh?”

“It’s probably w-worse than hell.”

“I know how you feel.” Roxy said with pain. Eridan looked at her with interest. “What?”

“Tell me.”

“W-W-What are you talking about?” Roxy was nervous.

“I’m the only one allow-wed to stutter w-with double yous. Spit. It.”

“Well, for a while I had a crush on that girl that works at the coffee shop.”

“Do you mean Wap? Because they’re agender.”

“No, although I did always wonder what their gender was, I mean Calliope.”

“Oh. She’s really nice. Newer spoken to her though. W-What happened?”

“Well, I had a crush on her, it got pretty bad, and now we’re here.”

“You still like her?

Roxy blushed. “Maybe a bit…”

“Hawe you ewer talked to her?”

“Naw, I am always too embarrassed.”

“I bet I could ask Wap for her number.”

“Really? You would do that? Vapor would do that?”

“I bet my ass they w-would. And hell yeah I w-would, you’re my friend.” It was silent for a couple of seconds.

“Try best friend. Although, you’ll never beat Dirk.” Eridan was smiling. Roxy then knew why Dirk had fallen in love so quickly. He had already been a little in love for a long time. When Eridan smiled, she saw someone that Dirk would have fallen in love with instantly had he smiled more often.

“Didn’t think I w-would. Now-w, to ask Wap.” Eridan pulled out her phone, and shot a quick text at the non-binary possibly faerie.

**Me**

hey vvapor

**agender cloud**

hey!

whats up eridan

also you spell my name vaporr

**Me**

oh really

ok

anywways

could i perhaps havve calliope’s number

its for a friend

**agender cloud**

gasp

who?

wait lemme guess

is it roxxxy?

**Me**

howwd you knoww

**agender cloud**

because callie and roxxxy have been pining over each other for like a year now

well callie hasnt been pining per say

but shes had a bit of a crush

im glad roxxxy realizzzed making a move was the best decision

its been annoying as hell trying to match make two people that are too embarrassed to talk to each other

anyways heres the number!

 

Number not included for fear of someone actually trying to call random number mashes from me. I have faith in you, my reader, but not in you while sleep deprived. Even I would probably do it if I were tired enough.

 

**Me**

aww thanks vvap

also sorry my speech thin means im gonna pronounce your name wwrong

**agender cloud**

dont sweat it!

i pronounce roxxxy’s name silly myself

see you tomorrow for your morning mocha!

**Me**

yeah see you tomorroww

 

“Huh.”

“What?”

“Apparently Cal had a crush on you, too.”

“Really? OMG, I-”

“Sh, w-we’re in public.”

“Right. Right. Okay. Uh, what do I do with this information?”

“I dunno. But did you know-w Wap’s name has tw-wo r’s?”

“What, really? Woah.”

“Yeah.” Dirk walked out. The jeans he wore this time were black skinny jeans, not that Eridan told him that, so it took him a bit to put them on. He was wearing a button up that was white with small dark blue polka dots. Eridan latched onto Roxy’s hand again and pulled down his hood. It was going to be a long day. The skinny jeans weren’t helping anyone, either.

“So?”

“Fuck yeah! You look fucking fantastic, Di-Stri!”

“Is Eridan ever going to comment on the outfits she picked out?”

“You look really nice.” Eridan said quietly. “Like, really fuckin nice.”

“Thanks, I guess.” Dirk sounded half hurt, half bored. Eridan squeezed tighter. Roxy shot him a sympathetic look.

“Dirk, come on. Halfway done. Keep going.” Dirk went back inside, and once more, Eridan let go and pulled the hood up. Roxy looked worried.

“You’ve got it bad, huh.”

“W-What makes you say that?” Eridan said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Roxy laughed. “Look, I didn’t realize it was that bad until now. I mean, I knew it was bad, but you could barely speak when he came out here! That’s worse than I thought.”

“Yeah, it is pretty bad. I’we had a crush on him for, w-what, 3 years?”

“3 years?!”

“Yeah. Doesn’t get better as time goes on. Especially since I started crushin on him right after my second breakup.”

“With whom?”

“Fef.”

“Ah.”

“I had just had my heart broken into a million pieces. It w-was painful. I w-was ewen more a a douche than before. I didn’t know-w Dirk. I thought he w-was mighty fine, though.” Roxy laughed at that. “Ewentually, I began to know-w him w-without talkin to him. Ewentually, I looked at him more than I did anyone else.” Eridan did that because she was required to, but after the break up it was even more so. When you don’t have a significant other, you tend to spend a lot of time doing things you need to do, because you can’t do anything else, anyway. “Ewentually, I fell in lowe w-with a person that I had newer spoken too. Since w-we’re friends now-w, it’s somehow-w better and w-worse. Better because, w-well one, I know-w likin him w-wasn’t just some fluke, he is amazin, and tw-wo, because I’m close to him. W-Worse because it’s right there, but not quite.” Roxy pulled him into a hug.

“Well, I’m going to be here no matter what. Best friend, yeah? I’m going to be here when you cry, when you laugh, when you two finally end up together, yes that will happen, I’m sure of it, when you two fight, whether you want me there or not. I find that that’s what I do best. And I can understand if you feel a little apprehensive about this, as we met like an hour ago, but I don’t give two fucks.”

“I don’t giwe a fuck either, Rox.” He hugged her. As she let go, he said, “But the w-whole end up together? I doubt it, strictly because I cannot date him.”

“Why not?” Eridan looked at her. “Oh. Another one of those things?” He nodded. “That sucks, Danny. I will do anything in my power to get you two together, even if you two have to be a secret, because I have a feeling you two would be amazing together, and today has helped further that feeling.”

“Thanks, Rox. I doubt you can help, but I appreciate your support.”

“Don’t mention it, Eri.” Dirk then walked out in the fourth outfit. It was orange skinny jeans with a white button up and a black tie. Eridan, once more, quickly reached for Roxy for support. This time, he decided to try it without pulling the hood over his eyes. Immediately, she was flushed and nervous.

The first thing Dirk said was, “Ugh, a fucking tie? Really Ampora?”

“Hey, you look dashing! Plus, you don’t even own any ties. Might as well get one.” Roxy said before Eridan could reply.

“Yeah, yeah. Also, I thought you said no skinny jeans.”

“I said not necessarily skinny jeans. You look fuckin amazin, so you can shut the fuck up.”

“But they’re so fucking tight.” Dirk whined. The flush on her face became worse.

“Beauty means pain, Strider.” Eridan said. If he just looked at Dirk’s shades, it wasn’t as bad. Her cheeks were still hurting from the blush, but it wasn’t doing anything unexpected. The blush wasn’t as bad as it would have been if, say, Eridan looked at Dirk’s body. “Come on, tw-wo more, dickhead. I beliewe in you.” Dirk flipped him off and walked back into the changing room. Immediately, Eridan actually started fanning her face. “Holy shit.”

“Improvement! You weren’t hiding under your hood that time!”

“It w-was so fuckin hard. I w-wanted to die.”

“I know, hun. I know.”

“I liwin w-with him right now-w. How-w the empresslowin fuck am I goin to serwiwe?”

“Well, like I said, I’ll always be here for support. And as long as you don’t have anything important that he needs to attend in these clothes, you should be fine. I mean, when he’s wearing a tee and pants, you seem okay.”

“It took a year to not flush at the sight a him. A fuckin year to get used to his regular attire.”

“Fuck. That’s quite a while.”

“You sure?”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure. Not quite, though.”

“Mm.” They both burst out into giggles. Dirk walked out in the fifth outfit. It was very similar to the last one, but the colors were swapped around. The shirt was white, the pants were black, and the tie was orange with black polka dots.

“I would suppose I look about the same because this is just different colors, except you two were giggling the second I walked out.”

“Not because of you, Dirk.” Roxy said, still trying to recover from the giggle fest.

“Mhm, complete coincidence, I fuckin promise.”

“Sure.” Dirk turned around and went back in to try the final outfit.

Roxy whipped her head towards Eridan and said, “Danny! You didn’t even blush that time!”

“I didn’t? I didn’t! Fuck yeah!”

“Fuck yeah!” Everyone in the store looked at the two. A clerk told them not to yell. “Shit, sorry!” Roxy whisper-yelled. They giggled for a while. Dirk came out in the final outfit. This time Eridan flushed a little, but it was still an improvement from not being able to speak. The final outfit was a long sleeved bluish purple button up, with small stripes of white. The pants were white jeans, not skinny jeans, luckily for Eridan, and they had dark purple threading.

“I think I actually like this outfit.”

“Really?” Eridan was hopeful.

“Yeah. I mean, purple isn’t usually my color, but damn, I look pretty nice.” Eridan realized that was almost his eye color and he reddened. It was less of the reddish purple that defined his caste but rather was a bluish purple, but still pretty close. Or at least, close enough for Eridan to find it embarrassing. And Dirk thought he looked good in it. “Anyway, I’d rather be in my normal clothes and we need to buy this shit, so.” Dirk turned around and went back into the changing room.

“Rox?”

“What’s up, Danny?”

“You know-w how-w Dirk thought he looked good in that outfit?”

“Yeah?”

“The purple he w-was w-wearing happens to be close to the color a my eyes. A little too blue and not enough red, but close enough for it to make me flustered. He said he looked good in something that matched my eyes.” It matched Eridan’s eyes and other things. Many other things.

“What? Oh jeez.” Eridan nodded. “There is no way in hell anyone could think about that without flushing the brightest color of red. Did you do that on purpose?”

“Of fuckin course not.”

“Hey, now, I was just checking.”

“It’s actually my faworite color. It’s the same color as this hoodie, so I guess I w-was like ‘that’s a pretty color’ and w-whoops it happened to be my eye color, or at least wery close.”

“Well you have a pretty eye color, so who cares. Plus, when you and Dirk do finally go out, on your first date, he can wear that and it will make you two match. How’s that for romantic?”

“Pretty good. I actually hawe somethin that w-would add to that. Kanaya made me an outfit that’s orange, Dirk’s associated color, and my own. I can’t w-wear it, though.”

“Why not? Wait, nevermind. Another one of the things, yeah?” Eridan nodded. “Damn, you have so many restrictions on shit, I would’ve fucked up hardcore by now.”

“Actually, I technically hawe fucked up many a time, but due to coincidence, no one’s connected stuff to thins.”

“Oh?”

“I’m not going to tell you how-w, because I don’t w-want to draw-w attention to those thins, but I’m suprisinly lucky.” Dirk walked out in his normal clothes with the outfits Eridan had chosen for him in his arms.

“Shall we?”

-

They payed for the outfits, which were really fucking expensive, but what do you expect from the favorite store of a hipster.

The also quickly stopped and got Dirk 3 pairs of converse, which were also kind of expensive.

As they walked home, Eridan asked Dirk, “Hey, are you sure I’m not bein a burden by stayin w-with you? Because if so, I bet Kan w-would let me liwe w-with her, her mother, and her sister.” Roxy had run up ahead, excited and a little stir crazy, so it was just those two. At first Dirk wanted to say no, Eridan could keep living with him and his family, but then he thought of a few reasons to agree to letting Eridan live with Kanaya. One, his family could no longer tease Eridan and give her further suspicions for Dirk’s Not Crush. Two, Eridan living with other werewolves would allow him to wear clothes he actually liked, because judging by the way he looked at the clothes she owned now, she wished that she could burn them and dance on their ashes. Three, he’d live with others that had the same needs as her, so they could provide exactly what he needed. Four, and most importantly, if Dirk spent another day living with Eridan, he was going to fall apart from exposure to her. Dirk was very calm and collected most days, and as of right now he was on the verge of losing it. Eridan was just too fucking hot. And adorable. And nerdy. And everything that could possibly make Dirk attracted to him. It was awful.

After having thought about it, Dirk replied, “You’re not a burden, I promise, but I do think it’d be for the best if you could live with the Maryams.”

“I’ll see if Kan is cool w-with it.” Eridan pulled out his phone and typed something, then put it back in his pocket.

“You can still stay with me if you need to, and I’m not retracting my earlier invitation for you to come over whenever, but I have my own reasons for believing staying at the Maryam’s would be the most beneficial.”

“Mm.” Eridan’s phone alerted and she pulled it out. “Kan says I could come ower startin this Thursday, but until then I can’t.”

 ****“Okay, you will stay with us until then.” Eridan nodded. For the rest of the day, Dirk and Eridan barely spoke. Dirk felt as if something was wrong, but Dirk sucked at human interaction, like fuck if he knew what was up. Once he had gone to sleep, right as sleep was about to drag him under, Dirk wondered if he had said something wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reminder that comments and kudos are my lifeline and srsly i don't fuckin care if ur like 'this word is cool' i will cry and it will make me stop telling myself that im bad at writing  
> thats like the number 1 reason it takes forever  
> also i like attention >>>:>>>>>  
> the other reason is i have school haha  
> kill me  
> also fun fact eridan pronounces wap like one would say vape plus his little 'w' thing  
> so he calls vaporr vape  
> also fun fact 2 about how i write things  
> if u notice i spell faerie differently depending on whos pov it is  
> and vaporr's name is spelled vapor until vaporr points it out  
> thats on purpose  
> so if ur wondering why there are spelling inconsistencies  
> i do it on purpose


	9. The Gay-Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan asks Vaporr about their fae-ness. There's a gay-off. Davekat stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the wait!!!! I have reeeeaaally bad writer's block like 90% of the time and it makes writing a strugl. But!! I got this out!! So!!! Here!!

Eridan woke up as early as she usually did, around 4 AM. Being as quiet as possible, he dressed and ate some of the fruit the Striders had gotten him two days prior. By the time she was finished, it was about 4:30, and the Green Sun Cafe didn’t open until 5, which is still pretty early, but the second Eridan thinks about coffee, the craving goes from a want to a need. With half an hour to kill, and a large craving for coffee, Eridan took a walk into Alternia Forest. The forest was peaceful and lovely, even at night. Plus, Eridan had walked through the entire forest in the dark multiple times. He had gotten used to all the scary parts, and knew exactly where every animal nest lied. There hadn’t been an unfortunate incident in Alternia Forest for many years. He climbed up a tree at around 4:40, with the knowledge that it contained no animal life, and stared at the sky from the top. The early spring sky was a dark purple, stars glittering. She often stared at the sky, wondering if out there, there actually was an infinite amount of universes, and in one, there was her, in a life that was stress-free, and he was happy. That universe didn’t necessarily contain Dirk, though he hoped it did, and even if it did, they might have never met, though she hoped they did, but even without him, somehow she had found happiness. If that universe did exist, she hoped that one and this one were very similar and very close, so that maybe his happiness there could bleed through. It never occurred to her to wonder if the universe she was looking for was the one she was in, and if there were many other Eridans were looking in the sky, wishing her life was theirs. After about 5 minutes of stargazing, Eridan began the walk to the Green Sun Cafe. When she arrived, Vaporr was unlocking the door from the inside to open up. They held open the door for Eridan.

“Hi, Eridan!”

“Hi, Wap,” Eridan said as he walked through the door. Vaporr quickly ran behind the counter and rang up a medium peppermint mocha.

“Anything else?”

“Uh.” Eridan tried to remember Dirk’s order from the day previous. “Large cappuccino, extra shot of espresso? But, make it right before I leawe.”

“Isn’t that the order of that person you were with yesterday?” Eridan nodded. “So nice of you to get them coffee! That’ll be 10.91.” Eridan handed them the cash. They made her peppermint mocha and then made themselves one. They hopped over the counter and invited Eridan to sit with them by the window. “This way I can check to see if a customer is coming, but I can relaxxx in the meantime.” Eridan then lowered his hood. If Vaporr noticed the small differences he had to a human, maybe they would mention they were a faerie. “Hey, you’re a faerie! That must mean there is a colony here!” That was quick. Eridan didn’t know what they meant by ‘colony’, but he decided to ignore that for now.

“How-w’d you tell?”

“Well, your eyes and ears, of course! I share those same qualities.” They removed their glasses and pulled back their hair. Yep, pointy ears and cat eye pupils, just like Eridan had seen the day previous. “Unfortunately, I’m only half fae, so I don’t get magic or wings.” They pouted.

“W-Wait, half fae?”

“Yeah! Half human, half fae!”

“But, humans and faeries aren’t allow-wed to date!”

“What are you talking about?” They laughed.

“The Empress forbid human and faerie relationships.”

“The Empress? Is the the Queen of your colony?”

“I suppose?”

“Well, I’d like to talk to her. I’d rather not live so close to a colony that forbids my parents relationship. Luckily, I’m the only one in my family that moved here, so they’re safe. The other one that moved with me, well, they would go down with a fight to rival any other.” There was a smile on Vaporr’s face and a laugh in their voice when they talked about said person.

“W-What?”

“Well, I was born near a colony about 200 miles north of here. When I grew up, I moved here with my girlfriend. Seems we moved to another colony’s territory. But no one ever mentions faeries. Do they not trust us?” They gasped. “Or is this not a peaceful colony?”

“W-Woah, slow-w dow-wn a bit. Colony?”

“Yeah, the Empress is the Queen of your colony, which is a large group of faeries that lives near a settlement of humans.”

“Ok, then yeah, I liwe in a colony. W-What’d you mean by ‘peaceful’?”

“Well, there are usually two kinds of colonies, peaceful and trickster. Peaceful colonies live in harmony with the humans, and all humans that come to live in the colony’s territory learn of the faeries, but are put under a spell so they can never physically share the secret to someone that doesn’t live in the territory. Trickster colonies like to play tricks on the humans and lead them to either their deaths or just a strange sense that someone is pranking them. It’s a spectrum kinda thing. I had heard that there was a trickster colony around here about 50 years back, but it vanished off the map. Is your colony that colony?”

“Possibly. I’we newer heard of these terms. I didn’t ewen realize that there w-were other faerie settlements other than this one.”

“Well, that’s rather stupid of you.” Eridan glared at them. “Sorry, but it is. Why would you assume you were the last of your species.”

“I guess that is a little close-minded of me. But how-w do peaceful colonies surwiwe? W-What about w-when someone passes through the tow-wn for gas?”

“They use magic spells that mean no non-faeries can see their features, and use spells on the humans in the know that allow them to be exxxcluded, dummy!” Eridan had never been more confused.

“Magic causes insanity in humans!”

“No, it doesn’t. Honestly, Eri, I’m confused about how you have so little knowledge of how the Fae interact with humans!”

“I’m confused about how-w ewery rule I’we been told has been a lie!”

“I suppose that’s fair. I’m still upset that my very exxxistence is forbidden in this colony.”

“I’m still upset that I’we been told hawin a relationship w-with a human is forbidden! I’we had a crush on a human for 3 years, and I’we had to hide it for w-what? The Empress’ w-whims? I thought there w-was at least a reason for the rule, but nope. She just decided it w-was forbidden. And I can do just about jack shit about it! Also, w-why the fuck does the Empress assign us humans to w-watch over, then? I alw-ways just assumed it w-was to protect them from the magic that leaked through the portal.” Vaporr’s left eyebrow rose.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“W-Well, ewery kid from a short radius around the portal has a faerie assigned to w-watchin ower them. Mine is that kid that came w-with me yesterday, Dirk.”

“Is that the human you have a crush on?” Eridan flushed. “That’s what I thought. I think he has a bit of a crush on you two.”

“W-What?”

“Yeah, you know how he was really cold to me yesterday?” Eridan nodded. “I think it was a jealousy thing.” Eridan scoffed.

“Nah, there’s no fuckin w-way I ended up lucky enough to get him to like me back.”

“If you say so.” Vaporr looked out the window and their eyes brightened. “Nerria’s here!” They jumped up and ran out to another person, this one likely a girl. Eridan then saw Vaporr get dipped. They ran back in, the other person getting dragged in from behind. They didn’t look too happy. “This is Nerria Tunder, my girlfriend!” So a girl it is. Nerria rolled her eyes and put her arm around Vaporr. “Nerria, this is Eridan Ampora! He prefers swapping pronouns and is a regular customer of mine.”

“‘Sup.” Nerria said. Eridan was a little afraid of Nerria. She was intimidating.

“Hello.” Eridan replied, quite timidly. “She’s a faerie!” Eridan wasn’t sure if Vaporr was referring to her or Nerria. “But Eridan’s colony is all weird. Don’t worry, Nerria’s half-fae too. Same colony as me. Explain it, Eri.” Eridan said a quick overview of what his colony was like.

“Damn, that’s fucking weird.” Nerria said. Vaporr nodded violently.

“I know, right? It’s exxxtremely bizzzarre.”

“You’re proud of the fact you fit in both a word with an ‘x’ and a ‘z’ in that sentence, huh.” Nerria muttered. Vaporr kissed Nerria on the cheek.

Vaporr replied, “You know it, my lovely foxxxie!” Nerria grinned. Her grin was terrifying. Vaporr’s smile widened. They pecked and then turned to Eridan. “Oh, I just remembered something! Guess what, my dear lynxxx!” Vaporr said with a glimmer in their eyes.

“What?” Nerria responded, knowing that her signif had something interesting to say. Nerria’s grin turned to a smirk. Eridan couldn’t decide which was scarier.

“Eridan has a crush on a human!” Eridan flushed. “And I’m pretty sure the human likes her back, but Eridan says differently.”

“Like I said, there is no w-way I somehow-w got Dirk to like me back. I’m not good enough for him.” Eridan looked forlornly at the floor.

As anger flashed in Nerria’s eyes, she said, “Shut the fuck up. Now. That’s a lie.” Eridan opened his mouth to counter. “No, I’m not finished yet. I understand self-hatred. Vaporr and me, mostly me, dealt with self-hatred our entire lives. I still suffer from it. But you know what? I’m not going to let someone as lucky as you think that you don’t deserve him. I bet right now he is dreaming about you. Vaporr has a way of telling these things, trust me. When they came up to me, the first thing they said was, ‘we’re going to go on a date someday, I just know it!’ and now we’ve been together for more than 2 years. I will not stand for someone, a violet-wing no less, tell me they aren’t good enough for a someone else when my signif has already noticed something between you two. Now, where is that famous violet-wing pride?” The anger in Nerria’s eyes had turned to sympathy and kindness. When she smiled this time, it wasn’t scary. Vaporr mimicked the smile, and somehow looked like the most motherly person Eridan had ever met. Eridan grinned wide and tried to mirror the pride he had before he dated Vriska. Nerria had somehow inspired him to at the very least imitate it this one time.

“W-Why, it’s right here, you fuckin idiot.” Nerria’s grin widened.

“That’s what I thought. Now go out and fucking woo that human.”

“I w-will do my best to w-woo him and not get killed in the process.”

First, Nerria’s face made one of the weirdest expressions Eridan had ever seen, then, she said,“Shit. I may or may not have forgotten that aspect of the relationship. Do your best in the situation you’ve been given, kiddo.”

“Thanks, Ner. Now-w I hawe a coffee to deliwer. Wap?” Vaporr nodded, jumped up and ran to behind the coffee counter to do their job.

“Here you are! One large cappuccino with an exxxtra shot of espresso. May it make Dirk realizzze his love for you.” They handed it to him with a wink. Eridan reddened, then thanked them for their time, encouragement, and liquid energy. “No problem! See you soon!” Eridan waved farewell, pulled her hood up, and then walked to Dirk’s house. It was about 6, and dawn was about to break. He quietly walked into Dirk’s room and watched as Dirk woke up. She reddened and handed Dirk the coffee.

“Large cappuccino w-with an extra shot of espresso, right?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Dirk refused to make eye contact with Eridan, or at least have his face facing Eridan. It made Eridan want to curl into a ball and cry. “What time did you get up?”

“Around 4.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, that’s early. You okay?”

“Yeah, I usually w-wake up that early anyw-way to awoid Cro and my dad.”

“Still, that’s super fucking early. I would die if I ever had to wake up that early.”

“You get used to it ewentually. Plus, I got coffee to sawe me from exhaustion.”

“Coffee was probably God’s final gift to humanity.”

“Can’t argue w-with you there.” There was an awkward, yet necessary silence. Eridan left the room for fear of randomly blurting something stupid. As fate should have it, Eridan ran into Dave, who was waiting for Karkat to come by to walk with him to school. Dave was messing with his hair and blushing a bit. Dave jumped when he heard Eridan’s footsteps, then let his cool-kid facade cover.

“Yo, I didn’t see you there.”

“Don’t w-worry, I just got here, but I did notice you were messing with your hair.” A touch of color rose to Dave’s cheeks, but he acted as if nothing had happened.

“There was some shit in my hair.” Eridan was extremely skeptical, but she knew she could never get through Dave’s stoicism and decided to drop it.

“W-What are you doin right now-w?”

“Waitin for Karkat to take me to school.”

“W-What, is Kar your carpool or somethin?” Eridan muttered.

“Kinda. On Mondays, because he usually feels like shit, we walk to school together. Half the time, I’m pretty sure my awesome memes and sick rhymes make his headache worse but,” Dave shrugged. “Sometimes I cheer him up apparently.”

“I don’t understand how-w, seein that your a prick.”

“Wow, Dan, you just, ugh, crushed me. I’m hurt, man. My heart is broken. You cleaning up this mess, because, ow, I just slipped and landed on a shard of my own broken heart, how messed up is that. Look at this mess, Eridan. You caused this. How rude.” Dave’s voice was almost completely monotone the entire time and he wore a shit-eating grin, too. Eridan was just about done with Dave’s shenanigans.

“Hope you flip ower and the glass cuts your dick off.”

“Eri, that’s just, so fucking cruel, man. My heart has somehow shattered into even more pieces. Now they’re getting ingrained into my skin and they’re never getting out. How cruel can you be, Ampora.”

“If the glass doesn’t, I w-will. Please just shut up. Oh thank the, uh, gods, Kar’s here.” Karkat had just walked up to meet Dave.

“IS DAVE BEING A LITTLE SHIT.”

“You know it, Karkitten. Being a little shit is just my natural state of being.” Dave rested his head on Karkat’s, a blush tinting the both of their faces. Eridan smirked. It was high time someone else had to suffer because of a crush.

“UGH, I HATE THAT IT IS.”

“And yet, you love me anyway. Don’t worry, I love you, too, Karkles.” Karkat’s flush grew and his annoyed expression grew lovesick. Dave had said it in a joking tone, and yet, Eridan was pretty sure Karkat knew Dave meant it.

“SHUT UP.”

“Never.” Dirk walked out of the house just then. Eridan flushed and Karkat smirked. Oh, how the turn tables. Karkat looked over at Dirk and his smirk widened. Eridan didn’t know why. Dave looked pleased as well. Both of them were still blushing. Eridan decided to try and return the attention back to them.

"Aw-w, a couple in lowe. How-w adorable." Both of their smiles vanished as they flushed and practically jumped away from each other. Eridan and Dirk were smiling then.

"AT LEAST WE LIVE SEPARATELY. YOU TWO HAVE BEEN SLEEPING IN THE SAME ROOM FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS. NOTHING LIKE SLEEPING WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER AT THE END OF THE DAY, AM I RIGHT?" And so, the gay-off began. 

"Oh, right. W-Well, at least w-we hawen't kissed." Dirk whipped his head around to Eridan.

"Wait, what?"

"Oh, right, uh, Karkles and I had a, um, pretty gay moment yesterday." Dave was flustered. Point for Eridan.

"Did you?" Dirk's surprise turned. He was now extremely happy. In an asshole-y way.

"YEP. THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER. JUST A KINDA GAY MOMENT. NO CLUE WHAT KISS ERIDOUCE WAS TALKING ABOUT." Karkat was nervous.

"Oh, Kar, I think my text chain has somethin else to say on the matter."

"OH FUCK."

Eridan pulled out her phone, messed with it for a few seconds, then said, "Let's see. Ah, yes. 'IT W-WAS JUST A SIMPLE HANG OUT, WHEN ALL THE SUDDEN HE W-WAS KISSIN' ME AND I COULDN’T HELP MYSELF.' Not quite that due to the w-way I speak, but w-whatewer. A couple a texts later, Kar said, 'IT W-WAS PROBABLY THE BEST THIN' EWER.', once again, w-without my speech stuff. And I promise you, he w-was still referrin to the kiss." Karkat was bright red. Redder than any faerie would ever achieve, unless that faerie was also albino. Dave was about the same shade. The Albino Gays were now falling behind. Princest was winning. Yes, I chose the names. No, the characters don't know that they have team names. Back to the story! There was no way for The Albino Gays to win, unless... of course... Karkat played dirty. Eridan had already played dirty, so it was time to break open some secrets. Or at least hint secrets were there. Karkat wasn't a dick. The thing was, while they could allude to it, if Karkat outright stated Eridan had a crush on Dirk, that would make him an asshole. I mean, Karkat's an asshole, but not that kind of asshole.

"WELL, I GUESS THAT MAY HAVE HAPPENED, BUT YOU HAVE AN OUTFIT THAT KANAYA MADE THAT IS PURPLE AND ORANGE, YES?" _im so fucked_ "Yes, I do. But w-what does the outfit Kan made hawe to do w-with anythin?"  _if you fuckin dare say it i wwill punch you_ All Karkat had to do was narrow his eyes and waggle his eyebrows and Eridan was flushing harder than should be possible. He was extremely light-headed. The Albino Gays had won. After admitting defeat, they all walked to school, Dave and Karkat off to one side and Eridan and Dirk off to another.

"Sorry, Dirk, he came at me from an angle I can't fuckin argue w-with."

"Eridan, it's okay. I am a tad confused why that flustered you, but it was obviously worth losing for if it made you that uncomfortable."

"Thanks." Eridan shot Dirk a quick smile. Dirk looked away like it had burned him. It made Eridan's insides feel like sewage. After about 15 minutes, Eridan turned to see if he could get Karkat to talk to, but Dave and Karkat had vanished. The rest of the walk was in silence. Eridan was on the verge of tears.  _havve i done somethin wwrong? is dirk mad at me? oh god howw did i fuck this up_

-

Being Dave is pretty weird. Especially since the guy he's had a crush on for who knows how long texted one of his friends about how that kiss he gave him yesterday was "PROBABLY THE BEST THING EVER". Dave had hoped he could've forgotten about that moment and gone on with his and Karkat's friendship.

Boy howdy, does fate like to fuck up shit.

Dave decided to break the awkwardness by talking to Karkat about the whole Eridan and Dirk situation. Eridan and Dirk seemed to be having some kind of thing on the way to school, might as well do the same.

"They are so in love. It's fucking hilarious. It's been a week! That's falling fast."

"I KNOW. THE SPEED IS KIND OF CUTE, BUT THE OBLIVIOUSNESS IS ACTUALLY KIND OF SAD."

"Especially on Dirk's side. Dirk has no clue how much Eridan likes him and he has no clue how much he likes Eridan."

"HEY, UH, DAVE? COULD YOU NOT MENTION ERIDAN'S CRUSH IN FRONT OF ANYONE? IT'S KIND OF IMPORTANT THAT YOU DON'T."

"Sure, anything for you."  _wow tone down the gay a little, would you, dave?_

"THANKS." There was a few seconds of silence. "DAVE, ABOUT YESTERDAY, I-"

"No, no, it's fine. I know when I've been rejected. At least you enjoyed it." Dave tried to keep a smile on his face. That's really hard when you're on the verge of tears.  _way to go, dave. youre crying now_

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS PLANNING ON SAYING."  _what_  "I LIKE YOU, DAVE. A LOT. BUT, THERE'S SOME SHIT I NEED TO SORT OUT BEFORE THIS CAN HAPPEN. ONE THING I NEED TO KNOW IS..." Karkat was blushing. "IF YOU WOULD BE WILLING TO DATE SOMEONE WHO WAS ALSO IN ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP, AND IF YOU COULD CONSIDER POSSIBLY JOINING HIM IN THAT KIND OF THING ONCE YOU HAD GOTTEN USED TO THE THIRD PARTY."

Dave thought it over for a while. "Yeah, I would. Especially since you have excellent taste in people. I mean, you chose me, didn't you?"

"DON'T REMIND ME. THERE'S ONE OTHER THING YOU NEED TO KNOW." Karkat grabbed Dave by the hand and pulled him into Alternia Forest, as by then they were along the edge. How had Karkat gotten them this far from the path? Dave couldn't even remember stepping off the sidewalk. Karkat looked around nervously, then began to take off his heavy clothing.

"Woah, no need to strip."

"I'M NOT STRIPPING, IDIOT, I NEED TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING." After the jacket Karkat was wearing was shed, Dave noticed a strange bulge on Karkat's back. It looked like rumpled fabric. Karkat took off the shirt, to reveal a red and grey leafy garment underneath. The rumpled fabric opened to reveal bright red wings. Karkat was red as well. "I'M A FAIRY."

"What."

"AND BEFORE YOU ASK, IT IS SPELLED F-A-E-R-I-E. ALSO, I'M FORBIDDEN FROM DATING A HUMAN BECAUSE I'M A FAERIE. THE OTHER PERSON I WANT IN THIS RELATIONSHIP IS AS WELL. YOU CAN'T TELL ANYONE. THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT." All of the sudden, everything made sense. The reason Karkat was so secretive about his house, the heavy clothing, everything. Dave broke out into a wide grin.

"I think that's the best news I've ever received."

"GOOD, ALTHOUGH I'M NOT SURE WHY IT WOULD BE. NOW, HELP ME PUT MY DISGUISE BACK ON BEFORE SOMEONE SEES US." Dave bent over to grab Karkat's clothes and handed them to him. "AND DAVE?"

"Yeah?" Karkat smashed his lips onto Dave's for a couple seconds, then pulled back. Dave was stunned.

"I THINK I MIGHT LIKE YOU A LITTLE." For the second time that day, Dave was on the verge of tears, but for once in his life, they were tears of joy. Dave couldn't help but smile wider than his cool-kid facade would let him. He helped Karkat put on his clothes and they ran to school in order to make in on time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to leave a comment!!!!!!!!!! if u do i will cry big baby tears and probably write just to make u happy so  
> im also done with school for now so hopefully i will get more out!!!! but writer's block and other projects maaaay slow me down, so please be patient!!  
> Edit: also!! if u make something for this fic and post it, tag it with 'the wings of the fallen'!! i track that tag and seeing ur contributions would make my day!!  
> Edit2: I began writing the thing Karkat would write for Dave and Sollux for their anniversary!! It's a part of this series, which I have dubbed Faerie Tales!! It won't just be the thing Karkat wrote, but also a bit of a scavenger hunt for Dave and Sollux on a hunt to find the password that will grant them the next chapter!!


	10. The Fourth Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan and Karkat recruit Feferi and Sollux. The fourth meeting of The Wings of the Fallen happens, and Dave, Karkat and Jade do homework. Meanwhile, Dirk overthinks shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!! got this out as quick as i could bc someone basically liveblogged their experience reading this fic and it made me so happy i got inspired!!! suicide mentions in this chapter!!

It was lunch, and Eridan had a mission. Get Feferi to join The Wings of the Fallen. Karkat was targeting Sollux at around the same time. Eridan quickly bought some fruit and bread and stuffed it in his hoodie pocket. She walked right up to Feferi and said, "Hey, I need to talk to you about somethin."

"Sure! Just let me finish eating first, then I’ll listen to whatever you need to carp aboat."

"Ok. It has to be in priwate, though." Eridan shot a quick look at Jane, who was sitting right across from Feferi. Feferi seemed to understand that meant _this is some faerie shit that no human can hear about or wwell die_ so she gave Eridan a terse nod and began eating faster. Eridan sat down at the table next to theirs and began eating as quickly as possible. About 5 minutes later, Feferi tapped him on the shoulder and he lead her to one of the empty classrooms.

"So! What did you need to glub to me aboat?"

Eridan decided to say "I know-w you hawe a crush on Jane." Instantly, Feferi flushed.

"I do knot min-now what you are glubbing aboat."

"If you admit it, I promise you w-won’t get in trouble."

"I do knot even have anyfin to admit to! I can knot bereef that you would even accuse me of such a thing! Now, I’m going to go back and enjoy my lunch. Hmph!" 

Just as Feferi was about to leave, Eridan blurted, "I hawe a crush on Dirk." She came to an abrupt stop, then she wheeled around and stared at Eridan with a frightened expression. 

"What."

"Yep. I’m not the only faerie to fall for a human, either. In fact, I hawe created a club for all of use to be in."

"Who’s in it shoal far?"

"Kar, Kan, and me, but Kar is workin on gettin Sol today."

"Sollux? Reely?"  


"Really."

"Huh." Feferi sat down in the nearest chair.

"If you are interested, you should join us. I know-w you don’t w-want to admit it, but-"

"I have a huge crush on Jane."

"W-Well, now-w that you’ve admitted it, w-would you be curious in joinin?"

"Water we trying to do?"

"W-Well if you mean w-what’s the porpoise," Feferi grinned at him. "then it’s basically to hawe a congregation of Fae w-who all crush on humans. W-We’d help each deal w-with the torture, and help each other w-when w-we fucked up."

Feferi’s voice got soft as she said, "Eridan, you realize that if my mom fins out, we cod all get krilled, right?" Eridan nodded. A grin broke out on Feferi’s face. "As long as you min-now the dangers, I’d love to join!"

"Fin-" Somehow Feferi’s grin got wider. "-tastic. W-We’re goin to hawe a meetin tonight at Kan’s house."

"I’ll be there." Feferi shot up, hugged Eridan, than walked out. Eridan sat down in one of the chairs, fished out the rest of his food, and ate it in the peace and quiet. Once the bell rang, he walked to his next class, where Karkat told him what happened.

-

Karkat had a mission. After secretly giving Dave a kiss on the cheek, he grabbed his food, and found Sollux, eating an apple in the computer lab. Luckily, the computer lab was empty, so Karkat could say whatever he wanted it peace. To be sure it stayed that way, Karkat slyly locked the door as he walked in.

"ASSHOLE. I NEED TO TALK TO YOU."

"Hello to you too, KK. What do you need to thay." Karkat grabbed Sollux, heaved him up, and kissed him. Immediately, Sollux reacted, kissing back and wrapping his arms around Karkat. 

Karkat broke the kiss, took a breather, then shouted, "I KNOW YOU WANT TO POLY ME AND DAVE."

"W-Where did you hear that bullthit."

"Eridan. Fermented Nectar."

"THIT. I forgot about that. Fuck him for telling you. You won’t turn me in, right?"

"DON’T WORRY, I’M IN. DAVE IS TOO, I THINK."

"Wait, what?"

"I TOLD DAVE I WAS A FAERIE THIS MORNING."

"WHAT?"

"HE KISSED ME YESTERDAY, AND I THOUGHT IT BEST IF HE KNEW WHY I REFUSED TO GO OUT WITH HIM WHEN I _CLEARLY_ RECIPROCATED. PLUS, I HAVE A PRETTY HUGE CRUSH ON HIM, SO I MIGHT AS WELL TELL HIM. HE’S PROMISED TO KEEP IT A SECRET. PLUS, BEFORE I CAME OVER TO TALK TO YOU, ERIDAN MENTIONED SOMETHING ABOUT THINGS BEING DIFFERENT THAN WE THOUGHT, SO I DOUBT IT WAS THAT BIG OF A DEAL."

"Huh."

"ANYWAY, THE PURPOSE OF THIS WAS NOT TO MAKE OUT WITH YOU, ALTHOUGH THAT WAS DEFINITELY A GOOD PART OF THE PLAN. THE PURPOSE WAS TO HAVE YOU JOIN A CLUB THAT IS MADE UP ENTIRELY OF TROLLS WITH CRUSHES ON HUMANS."

"Who’th in it?"  


"ERIDAN, KANAYA, ME, YOU, IF YOU ACCEPT, AND HOPEFULLY FEFERI."

"That’th not much of a club ath it ith a thmall group of people."

"IT MAY BE SMALL, BUT IT’S HONESTLY PRETTY NICE TO HAVE SOMEONE ELSE WHO UNDERSTANDS THE SUFFERING OF PINING AFTER SOMEONE YOU KNOW YOU CAN’T BE WITH. OR, AT LEAST, IN THEORY. ERIDAN AND I STARTED THE CLUB LAST WEEK, SO MOST OF THE MEETINGS HAVE JUST BEEN US. THERE HAS BEEN 3 MEETINGS, ONE WITH KANAYA. IT’S ALSO NICE BECAUSE PART OF THE POINT IS TO HAVE A GROUP OF PEOPLE THAT HELP WHEN YOU FUCK UP BECAUSE YOU’RE NERVOUS."

"I gueth that’th fair. I’m in."

"COOL. WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A MEETING AT KANAYA’S PLACE AFTER SCHOOL, AND YOU ARE REQUIRED TO ATTEND. NOW THAT THAT’S OVER WITH, YOU WANNA MAKE OUT SOME MORE?"

"Fuck yeth."

And they did. Until the bell rang, then Karkat slipped out and went to tell Eridan the news.

-

It had officially been lunch, and Dirk Strider had not seen Eridan once. Eridan had seemed off this morning, too, other than the coffee. Had he truly said something wrong?

-

It was after school, and Kanaya had asked her mother and her sister to let her have privacy, and Porrim and Theadosa had accepted, with Porrim and her mother going to seek out a good café for some time to bond. Kanaya had prepared the main room in her tower for a meeting of, hopefully, five participants, and because she knew the whole dynamic, she had little color coded place cards for everyone, as well as new clothing for everyone to wear. It was quite commonplace for her mother, or even her, seeing as her fashion was well known throughout the community, to get requests for clothing that incorporated their partner’s colors, and luckily, Karkat’s official color was both gray AND red, so she could incorporate both colors into Sollux's and his garments without it looking odd. With Feferi’s, Eridan’s, and her own, it would be a bit trickier to explain, but faeries didn’t always wear there color, and when they did, it wasn’t unheard of to see it with other colors, so hopefully they wouldn’t get questions. Eridan had already gotten his, and she had texted him earlier requesting he wear it. She was wearing her own, and she had to admit her craftsmanship was quite lovely in particular when it came to her own. She had embroidered each leaf with lavender tentacle-like patterns after dying the leaves a jade green. She had made sure some of them had even made an R and an L in cursive to look like Rose’s signature. It had been hard but worth it to make her garment, and she was planning on making everyone a second one with as much thought as she had put into her own, seeing as the rest were just dyed leaves, but she had wanted everyone’s to be done as quickly as possible, and the embroidery was hand-done. The only reason hers was embroidered was because she had made it much earlier than everything else, seeing as she had had a crush on Rose for months and only known about the others for a week. But, alas, there was Eridan knocking at the door, and it was about time for all of her friends to arrive. She quickly straightened her hair and opened the door.

"Hello, Eridan."

"Hi, Kan."

"Do You Happen To Know When The Others Are Arriving?"

"No, but eweryone said they’ll be here, so here’s to hopin."

"Good To Know." _Damn, I Was Hoping Others Would Arrive Sooner Rather Than Later, Due To The Fact My Relationship With Eridan Has Always Been A Tad Strained Since That Day._ She had done what was needed, and she didn’t regret it. She had heard that Eridan claimed to have put it behind him, but she was unsure if he truly had. She wanted their relationship to return to it’s former glory, due to the fact their friendship had been a pleasant one. She had always enjoyed talking about fashion with him, and he always had leant an ear when she wanted to talk about her trashy romance novels, but unfortunately, since The Incident, they hadn’t talked about it. She knew that bringing it up would be odd, but, if she really wanted their friendship back on track, she had to try. "Eridan, I Would Like To Talk About What Happened."

"Oh."

"Oh Indeed."

"Kan, I’we put that behind me."

"So I’ve Heard, But I Do Wish For Our Friendship To Be Rekindled, And I Think We Need To Have This Conversation Before That Can Happen. Plus, While I Don’t Regret What I Did, I Do Need To Apologize. I’m Sorry."

"Kan, I—"

"I Am Not Finished. I Am Sorry I Did Not Notice That You Were So Unhappy."

"W-What?"

"Eridan, We All Know That You Were Attempting Suicide." And with that, the ball had dropped. Everyone in their friend group and the older siblings of said friend group had known that Eridan was attempting something that would’ve killed him, and Feferi in the process, had she agreed to go with him. But no one ever spoke of it. They just assumed Eridan had gotten the idea cut out of him when Kanaya had given him the large gash across his stomach. Kanaya wasn’t so sure that had been the case, but due to them never speaking, she could never check. "I Am Truly Sorry I Did Not Notice Your Change In Behavior, Nor Did I Notice How Your Magic Was Becoming Unruly."

"Kan, it w-wasn’t your job to keep me in check. Plus, I didn’t let anyone know-w how-w I w-was feelin at the time. I just kept on the w-way I had. No one could’we know-wn. And I shouldn’t hawe asked Fef to come w-with me."

"I Understand That, But At The Same Time, I Do Regret Not Noticing. But, Even Now, I Am Not Done Apologizing. I Am Truly Sorry Of How I Began To Treat You Leading Up To What Happened. I Began To Brush You Off, And Treated You Like An Annoying Child, When I Should’ve Payed More Attention To You. That Is All I Have To Say."

"Kan, I appreciate the sentiment, but I was actin like an annoyin child at the time. I deserwed ewerythin that I got."

"As Long As You Understand I’m Apologizing, That’s All I Wanted To Get Across. Do You Think Maybe We Could Rebuild What Our Friendship Used To Be?" Kanaya was hopeful.

"Yeah. But w-we need to w-wait until all of the bullshit that’s goin on now-w blow-ws ower. I got some important shit to tell tonight, and once I do, shit w-will probably hit the fan, so I w-would like to w-wait until ewerythin has died dow-wn."

"I Understand And Agree." Kanaya opened her arms for a hug. Eridan, after what seemed to be careful consideration, gladly reciprocated, and she rested her head on his. _Even If This Is Just An Echo Of What Used To Be, It Is Just As Amazing._ She smiled. She was glad that she had gotten that off her chest. Just as she was going to pull back, a knock sounded at her door. She opened it to find Karkat and Sollux, holding hands. _How Adorable._

"Hello, and Welcome, Karkat, Sollux, To Maryam Tower."

"Hi, KN."

"HELLO KANAYA."

"Come Inside. As You Can Probably Tell, Due To The Fact He Is Right Next To Me, Eridan Has Already Arrived. We Are Only Waiting On Feferi."

"No need to wait any longer! I’m here!" Kanaya glanced up to see Feferi flutter down to the ground surrounding Maryam Tower. 

"Greetings, Heiress Feferi, And Welcome To Maryam Tower."

"Kanaya! Don’t call me by my title! It’s so of-fish-al."

"I Know, I Just Thought It Would Feel Cool To Say Something That Fancy. It Was."

"Whale, as long as you had fun glubbin it, I suppose it’s fine. Just this once!"

"Of Course."

"UH, KANAYA, SHOULDN’T WE GO INSIDE." Immediately, Kanaya flushed. She had forgotten that this was even a meeting, even if only for a moment.

"Yes, Yes, Of Course. Come In, And If You Would, Try On Your New Garments That I Made. Eridan, You Already Have Yours, So Just Go Sit In Your Seat, Or Not, If You Are Planning Something Different." She watched as everyone, except Eridan, lifted up their garments with varying levels of excitement. Feferi asked where the bathroom was so she could change and Sollux and Karkat were directed to empty rooms. Eridan came up to her.

"Kan, I need to admit somethin."

"Yes?"

"That initiation ritual you had to do?" Kanaya nodded. "Kar and I made it up on the spot."

"Oh."

"And because I feel kinda bad, I’we decided you get to decide w-what Fef and Sol hawe to do."

"Hm." She thought about it for a moment, then decided. "Thank You For Telling Me. I Have A Plan." A little while afterwards, Karkat, Sollux, and Feferi returned, all wearing their new garments, all perfect fits, seeing as Kanaya made them clothes regularly. "I’m Working On Another Set As We Speak, But These Will Be Dyed Leaves Of Your Color, Embroidered With Your Partners’ Color And With Designs That Have To Do With Said Partners. Like Mine." Kanaya pointed out the details.

"Kan, you don’thawe to do that. That looks like a lot of w-work."

"I Enjoy Doing It. Plus, It’s Something To Do. Anyways, Should We Not Get Our First Official Meeting Started?" Kanaya sat down with everyone else. Eridan looked at Karkat, and after a brief nod from Karkat, stood up.

"W-We hawe a few-w matters w-we need to discuss today. First, w-we hawe tw-wo new-w members that need to go through initiation. Kanaya?" Eridan took a seat and Kanaya stood up. Time for revenge.

"As Part Of The Tradition Started Today, The Previous Initiatee Chooses Initiation For The Next Member Or Members. I Choose That You Must Tickle Our Founders." A mischievous smile graced Kanaya’s face. 

"OH FUCK." Sollux smirked and Feferi grinned. Feferi immediately began to attack Eridan, and Karkat was tackled by his boyfriend. Giggles and swears echoed throughout the tower. Kanaya made sure to capture the whole thing on her phone. After about 3 minutes, Kanaya said that that was enough. Karkat was beet red and Sollux was definitely blushing, but he was grinning like a cat. _Aw._ Feferi seemed satisfied and Eridan seemed horrified. Kanaya sat down and Eridan stood up.

"Okay, now-w that that is ower, thank the empress, it’s time for me to make an announcement about Fae life. This is going to take a w-while, so please don’t interrupt until the end." Eridan took a deep breath. "Ewerything w-we’we been told is absolute bullshit." Eridan began to explain everything that he knew.

_What._

**_What._ **

_-_

After everything had been said, Karkat was outraged. "THIS IS _BULLSHIT_."

Sollux was sparking, something he hadn’t done in a very long time. "What. The. Abtholute. FUCK?"

Feferi was dumbstruck. "No, no. There is no wave this is true. Mom would never lie to me. No!"

Kanaya was confused. "What." 

"Look, I understand this is hard to beliewe, but—"

"NO, ERIDAN, YOU DON’T GET IT. I SPENT MY ENTIRE LIFE HIDING A CRUSH THAT BLOSSOMED BEFORE I EVEN KNEW THE WORD FOR IT. I DID EXACTLY AS THE EMPRESS TOLD, BECAUSE I WAS A MUTANT WING, AND IF I DIDN’T, I WOULD LIKELY GET ME AND MY FAMILY KILLED. I CRIED, I TOILED, I FOUGHT, ALL FOR THIS LIE SHE HAS FABRICATED FOR US. I’M NOT JUST ANGRY, I. AM. DONE."

Feferi was crying a little at this point. "I don’t think that Mom would do this. Sea has to have a reason. Maybe—"

"SHUT UP, FEF. VAPORR PROVED THAT ALL OF YOUR MOM’S RULES ARE ABSOLUTE HORSESHIT. I UNDERSTAND YOU MAY BE UPSET, BUT—"

"NO, YOU SHUT UP!" Karkat’s mouth shut with a click. "MY MOM LOVES ME. SHE PROMISED NEVER TO LIE TO ME. SEA HAS A REASON. NOW, SHUT THE GLUB UP, OR I’M GOING TO LOSE IT!" Kanaya’s mouth felt glued shut. Feferi was flat out sobbing at this point. Her wings had lifted her off the ground. Her eyes were glowing fuchsia. She blinked, and seemed to notice what she was doing. "I’m sorry! I didn’t- I was just upset. I’m so sorry!" Her eyes stopped glowing. Kanaya’s mouth could move freely again.

-

sorry its in the middle of a scene, and for a sentence or two, but i need to switch pov. itll pick up right after this, just from fef’s pov

-

"Fef, take deep breaths." Eridan’s voice and calming words truly grounded her. She stopped hovering and landed. She wiped her face. _mom… LI-ED to me… oh glub…_ Feferi closed her eyes, and fainted.

_-_

Sea? Sea? Where are you? Sea! I miss you…

-

"Moma, where’s Meenah?"

"I’ve grounded her, guppy."

"Why?"

"Sea refuses to take the throne after me."

"Why?"

"Sea doesn’t like my rules, and I would have to die for her to become Empress. She doesn’t want that. I have to make sure she knows it has to happen."

"Moma! I don’t want you to be krilled!"

"Heh. Nice pun. And don’t worry, guppy, I ain’t dyin any time soon."

-

"Moma, even though I don’t want you krilled, if Meenah doesn’t take the throne, I would."

"Really?" Nodding. "Thank you, guppy."

"Of course! I love you, Moma!"

"Love you too."

-

"Moma? Where’s Sea?"

"He’s gone to the store."

"Okay! When he gets back, I’m going to hug him!" Laughing. Laughing. Moma’s Laughing.

"I think he’d love that, guppy."

-

"Moma! Moma! Where’s Sea?" Crying. Crying. Moma’s crying.

"S-Sea isn’t coming back, guppy."

"Why? Did he think I was going to forget his hug?"

"No, guppy, he just… He never even went to the store. He lied to us." Moma’s angry.

"M-M-Moma-a!" Crying. Crying. Crying. Moma’s crying. I’m crying. Crying. Crying.

Whispers. "I know, guppy. I know."

-

"Moma, will you ever lie to me?"

"Of course, not, guppy."

"Never ever?"

"Never ever."

-

Eridan saw Feferi’s eyes open. "Guys, she’s awake."

"OH, THANK THE EMPRESS."

"Feferi, Are You Alright?"

"Yes! I’m fin." Feferi stood up quickly. _wwoww that wwas quick_ "I have a question for all of you. What was happening right before I fainted?"

"Uh, w-well, your eyes w-were glow-win, and—"

"Ah. Mo—, er, the Empress said that that might happen. It’s my Empress powers."

"Uh, FF? We don’t exactly know what that meanth."

"Oh! Silly me. My Empress powers allow me to control the colony! I think, judging from what Erifin told us, all Queens have these kinds of abilities. I mean, that’s just a guess, but—" She shrugged.

"HUH."

"Huh, Indeed."

"W-Well, now-w that Fef is aw-wake, I think w-we should end the meetin. Another one tomorrow-w though, that w-way w-we can plan how-w w-we’re goin to get rid of this rule."

"BEFORE WE SEPARATE, I NEED TO ANNOUNCE THE FACT I TOLD DAVE I WAS A FAERIE THIS MORNING."

"You’re Kidding."

"NOPE."

"Karcrab! That’s dangerous! Both for you and your glubs!"

"MY GLUBS?"

"Your loves!" Karkat flushed.

"YEAH, YOU’RE PROBABLY RIGHT." Eridan thought it over for a second.

"W-What if w-we had Dawe help us out? Like, he could tell us if any humans w-were gettin too close to our secrets and w-who w-would be a good ally. Shit like that."

''That’th not a bad idea."

"I Mean, I Still Think It Was A Bad Idea That You Told Dave In The First Place, But This Would Be Making Good Of A Bad Situation."

"WELL SORRY I WANTED MY HOPEFULLY FUTURE BOYFRIEND TO KNOW I WAS INTERESTED AND WHY I COULDN’T KISS HIM IN PUBLIC."

"W-We’re just sayin that although w-we get your motiwes, it w-wasn’t a good decision on your part."

"YEAH YEAH. OKAY, CAN THE MEETING BE OVER NOW?"

"I Think Porrim And My Mother Are Going To Be Home Soon, So I Say It Should Be."

"Alright. Let’shawe a meetin tomorrow-w W-WITH Dawe at the park. Sound cool?" Everyone nodded. "Alright. Later." Eridan flew out with everyone, giving Kanaya a hug before he left. Their friendship was beginning to be rekindled, and he was happy for that. He flew to the border, put human clothes over his own, and stood there, getting used to the feeling. _just as uncomfortable as evver i suppose_ He stepped through and began walking to Dirk’s house.

-

"Roxy, I just don’t get it! I don’t think I’ve said anything wrong, but he’s been acting weird since yesterday."

"Are you sure you’re not overthinkin it?"  


"I can guarantee you, I’m overthinking this." Roxy laughed. 

"Look, let’s wait for him to get home, and then let’s all go out and get like McDonald’s or something. If he’s actin weird for my standards, then yeah, you probably said something wrong. If not, then I doubt you said anything wrong."

"Ok, that’s a good plan." Dirk was playing with his hands. _What if something goes wrong? What if he doesn’t like the food we end up getting, but he doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t want to be rude? What if—_ Roxy interrupted his train of thought.

"Stridirk, I know you are overthinking it right now. Everything is going to be fine."

"Stridirk is a new one."

"I know! I came up with it this morning." Roxy beamed in pride. "Anyway, while we’re waiting, we should probably do our homework." Dirk pulled out his stuff and set it on the table. Roxy did the same. He started with math, seeing as it came fairly easy to him. Roxy pulled out her Bio textbook, and Dirk put in his earbuds and let the music overwhelm him as he did his homework.

-

 

**karkat <3**

HEY ASSHOLE.

GUESS WHAT.

YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY BEEN WELCOMED AS THE ONLY HUMAN IN THE WINGS OF THE FALLEN CLUB.

CONGRATS.

**Me**

what the fuck are you talking about

**karkat <3**

THE WINGS OF THE FALLEN IS ALL OF THE FAERIES THAT HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH HUMANS, PLUS YOU NOW I SUPPOSE.

YOU’VE GOT ME, SOLLUX, ERIDAN, KANAYA, AND FEFERI, AND NOW YOU.

**Me**

oh shit

im honored

why let me in though

**karkat <3**

WELL INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH, THEY WEREN’T TOO HAPPY I TOLD YOU I WAS A FAERIE.

BUT, TO MAKE GOOD OF A BAD SITUATION, THEY DECIDED YOU WOULD MAKE A DECENT SPY FOR ALLIES.

YOU COULD ASK AROUND AND SEE IF THERE WERE RUMORS ABOUT, SAY, IF ERIDAN HAD A CRUSH ON DIRK, OR IF KANAYA WAS SECRETLY A 'FAIRY', AND BE SURE TO CRUSH THOSE RUMORS INTO THE GROUND.

YOU COULD ALSO HELP US FIND ALLIES IN OTHER HUMANS.

HUMANS THAT YOU KNOW COULD KEEP A SECRET AND HELP US OUT THE SAME WAY YOU ARE.

**Me**

damn

id be happy to help

**karkat <3**

ALRIGHT. I’LL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING TO YOU TOMORROW MORNING. MEET ME IN THE PARK, SAY AROUND, 4?

**Me**

jesus christ thats early

are you sure

**karkat <3**

WELL SORRY, BUT IT WILL TAKE A LONG TIME TO EXPLAIN EVERYTHING.

ALSO, AFTER SCHOOL, IN THE PARK, WILL BE YOUR INAUGURATION AND WE WILL TALK TO YOU ABOUT SHIT.

GOT IT?

**Me**

yeah

thanks for trusting me by the way

**karkat <3**

NO PROBLEM.

. . .

<3

**Me**

<3333

shit that was really gay

**karkat <3**

FUN FACT, BEING GAY ISN’T A THING FOR FAERIES, SO WHEN YOU FIRST MENTIONED IT, I WAS LIKE 'THE FUCK.'

I MEAN, NOW I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS, BUT THE FIRST TIME YOU WERE LIKE 'thats gay man' I WAS LIKE 'THAT WAS HAPPY?? WHAT’S YOUR FUCKING ISSUE WITH HAPPINESS?'.

**Me**

omg

thats fucking hilarious

**karkat <3**

WHATEVER, FUCKNUTS.

. . .

ACTUALLY, MEET ME AT THE PARK IN 15 MINUTES, I WANT TO SHOW YOU PART OF MY JOB. BRING YOUR HOMEWORK AND TEXTBOOKS.

**Me**

sure dude

 

-

It had been 15 minutes, and Dave was kind of nervous. Then, Karkat ran up to him, glanced around, and pecked him on the mouth. _okay, that was pretty cool and awesome and amazing and— woah there dave tone down the gay just a bit_

"Hey, Kitkat."

"HI."

"So, what’d you wanna show me?"

"WELL, FOR SOME MINDNUMBING REASON, THE EMPRESS HAS ASSIGNED EVERY YOUNG FAERIE A HUMAN TO WATCH OVER THAT LIVES NEAR THE ENTRANCE OF ALTERNIA FOREST, AND MINE IS JADE."

"Really? Who’s mine?"

"YEAH, AND UH, TEREZI." _that explains a lot_ "ANYWAYS, I’VE BEEN A LITTLE NEGLECTFUL OF MY JOB RECENTLY, BECAUSE I’VE BEEN, UH," Karkat flushed. " A LITTLE PREOCCUPIED." Dave grinned.

"I see."

"WANNA SPY ON JADE WITH ME?"

"Duh."

"OKAY, WELL, BECAUSE I DON’T WANT THE EMPRESS THINKING YOU KNOW ABOUT ME, I’VE ASKED JADE TO JOIN US HERE TO DO HOMEWORK."

"Nice." 

"FOLLOW ME." Karkat lead Dave to a picnic table, where Karkat had already laid out some snacks, his homework, and other supplies. Dave quickly unpacked everything he would need.

"Dude, this is really nice." Karkat turned redder than a beet.

"THANKS." Dave heard footsteps and turned to see Jade running up to them.

"Hi, Dave! Hi, Karkat!"

"'Sup."

"HI, JADE."

"So! We’re doing homework! Karkat, did you bring snacks?"

"YES, BECAUSE I’M A DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEING."

"That’s so sweet of you!"

"YEAH, YEAH." Jade gave Dave a hug, and then Karkat one, and Dave couldn’t help but feel a little jealous, even though he knew it was a strictly platonic gesture. Karkat was _his_ and 'whomever else he was going to end up dating’ ’s. _ok that was possessive and a little creepy jade and karkat are just friends tone it down you fucking weirdo_ Everyone sat down and began their homework. Dave would try and focus on his homework, but his thoughts always drifted to how possessive that thought had bee. _if this is going to be a polyamorous relationship, that needs to stop pronto a dente and karkats his own person you dont own him you fucking creep_  And, if he wasn’t thinking about that, he was thinking about Karkat, and how lucky he was to have somehow gotten the world's crankiest softie to like him. Karkat, every once and awhile, would ask somewhat personal questions for Jade. She would always respond cheerily, as if she didn’t realize these questions were pretty probing. It was really weird, or at least, Dave thought so. After about half an hour, Dave moved on to his art homework. His assignment, extra credit, seeing how the first half the term he refused to do anything with his left hand, aka the one that functioned, and made all of his assignments sweet bro and hella jeff comics, was to draw something that he saw and to change it, just a bit, so that it still looked like the thing he was drawing, but was somehow supernatural. Immediately, his eyes gravitated to Karkat, seeing as A. that was the only thing his brain was capable of thinking about at that precise moment and B. Karkat actually was a supernatural being. 

"Hey, Karkat."

"YES, DAVE?"

"Can I draw you?"

"UH." Karkat flushed. Dave felt a little bit of red rush to his own face. "YES." Dave grabbed a pencil and began to sketch the simple shapes. After that was done, he began to fill in the basic features. He then noticed how simple things in Karkat’s face were slightly different, like how his eyes were more cat-like, and the point to Karkat’s ears. The longer than normal canines, the sharper angles of his face. It was all so subtle, and all captivating. Once the basic features were down, Dave began to add details and shade. The best part was adding freckles. Then, Dave, although it already looked supernatural if you looked, decided that in order to keep it as if he didn’t know Karkat was a faerie, added hair and wolfish features. 

He had turned Karkat into a werewolf. 

By the time he was done, it was sunset, and Jade needed to get home. They all said their farewells, and Jade ran off.

"Hey, Karkat, look at what I drew." Karkat looked at the drawing, and his eyes widened.

"DAVE, THAT’S AMAZING."

"What."

"IF I DIDN’T KNOW THAT I WAS ACTUALLY A FAERIE, I WOULD BE CONVINCED THAT I HAD BECOME A WEREWOLF RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU."

"It’s not that great."

"DAVE, SHUT THE FUCK UP. THIS IS STUNNING." Dave was blushing. He had gotten compliments on his shitty art before, but that was different, seeing as he was trying to make it shitty. A compliment on art that he was trying to make good? This was a first. 

"Thanks, but, I gotta turn this in tomorrow, so."

"YOU’D BETTER GET AN A."

"Thanks, Karcrab." Karkat glanced around, and Dave did too, and neither of them saw anybody. Karkat grabbed Dave’s shirt and they kissed. It was warm, soft, and perfect. Once it was over, Dave said, "See you tomorrow?"

"YEAH. BYE."

"Later." Dave walked home, still giddy from the kiss, as the sun sunk and it became night.

-

Eridan arrived at the Strider household about half an hour after the meeting, and actually said goodbye to Dave, as he had left just as Eridan had arrived. Once he walked in, he saw Roxy and Dirk doing homework on the dining table. Dirk looked up, pulled out his earbuds and said, "Hey, you want to go get something to eat?" Even though Eridan had homework, something, like an author doing whatever they decide happens, made him answer yes. Dirk and Roxy cleaned up their stuff, and they walked out to go eat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWofF is officially the longest eridirk fic!!!! mwahahahahhaha!!!!!!!


	11. Kiss The Girl (Genderfluid Faerie)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk, Roxy, and Eridan eat dinner. Then when they get home, Dirk and Eridan look at the stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning there's like a whole paragraph or two where i talk about penisis im really sorry  
> also ;>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> this got so carried away it was just supposed to be awkward tension but its too late lmao

Dirk was extremely nervous. Roxy could tell. So was Eridan, but he mostly just seemed sad, if not completely and utterly exhausted and forlorn. Roxy was sure _something_ had happened, but so far, all she knew was Dirk thought he said something to mess it up. They were walking to a little diner that Jane’s father ran. It, while famous for its baked goods, had some delicious dinner selections. Plus, there was also the fact they wouldn’t have to pay themselves, seeing as Jane’s dad would just bill their parents. They were about 3 minutes from the diner, and Dirk and Eridan were refusing to look at each other. Roxy walked in between them, and she was about to pull out her hair. The awkward atmosphere was so suffocating that she was sure she was about to scream. She knew that Dirk was nervous and the younger werewolf was both sad and nervous, but refusing to even glance at one another? How was she ever going to survive the next hour or so? She suppressed a groan. After a few more minutes of silence, they finally arrived at the diner. Relief flooded through Roxy, before she remembered that it was just as likely for her friends to not talk inside as well. The tinkling of the bell on the door made Jane’s father, James, turn towards the group.

"Why, hello, Roxy, Dirk. Have you come to see Jane?" _oh yeah janey works here after school. no wonder their cake is so amaaaazin_

"Nope! We’re here for food."

"Alright. May I ask who is your friend?"

"Oh, right! Janey’s dad, meet Eridan. Danny, meet James, Janey’s dad."

"It’s a pleasure to meet you." James stretched out a hand to Eridan. Eridan took it and shook firmly.

"Same here." After that, James led them to a booth. 

"Good to see you all." James left. They all glanced at their menus, then John came running over. 

"Hi Roxy! Hi Dirk! Hi Eridan! I’m your server for tonight. What do you all want to drink?" Roxy ordered a hot cocoa with extra whipped cream, because hot damn, hot chocolate is good. Dirk wanted a Coke, and Eridan ordered lemonade. John basically skipped away to fetch what they had ordered. A silence fell over the table. Roxy almost started banging her head against the wall. This was going to feel longer than anyone wanted it to. Once John returned with their drinks, they all ordered a burger of some sort, Eridan also getting fruit on the side. John scurried off and, once again, silence fell. Roxy felt like clawing her eyes out. She glanced over at Eridan, who looked like a kicked puppy. Dirk looked apprehensive, like he wanted to say something, but was afraid of saying the wrong thing, possibly again. Roxy knew the only way to get something started was to take matters into her own hands.

"Sooooooo, Danny, what’d ya do after school today?"

"Uh, w-well, I hung out w-with my friends."

"Was it fun?"

"Yeah, mostly." 

"What wasn’t?"  
"W-Well, for one, I got attacked." Eridan did a half pout with narrowed eyes.

"What?"

"It w-was a tickle attack. Kan told Fef and Sol to tickle Kar and me and it w-was the w-worst 3 minutes I’we ewer had." Roxy laughed. Eridan sounded so serious, it was hard not to. During her fit, she glanced over at Dirk, who had a ghost of a smile. "I’m serious! It w-was aw-wful."

"I believe you, hun, but you just sounded so serious that I can’t help but laugh."

"I am serious!"

"I know! That’s the funny part!" Eridan looked annoyed. Roxy calmed down her laughter.  
"Did I hurt your feewings?"

"Yes." Eridan huffed and looked away. Dirk chuckled. Instantly, Eridan’s face turned red. Dirk’s did almost immediately after, and he sharply turned away to try and hide it. Roxy quickly took a drink of her hot chocolate. It was all she could do to try and not say 'aw!'. She decided it was to be a drinking game. Every time the two got each other flustered, whether it be Dirk blushing because Eridan blushing was quite adorable after Eridan blushed from Dirk doing something hot, or Eridan getting embarrassed and Dirk blushing because Eridan was just that adorable, she had to take a sip. She hoped she wouldn’t get through more than 2 mugs. It was around then that John came around with their food. Roxy thanked him, and he left. A silence once again fell over the table as people ate. Roxy rolled her eyes. She knew that the entirety of this was going to consist of her two best friends getting embarrassed and awkward silences. 

Roxy, hoping it would get the conversation going again, said, "Sorry, Danny." 

"For w-what?"

"Hurtin your feelings."

"Oh." Eridan blushed. Dirk did too, once again turning away quickly to hide. Time for a drink. "You didn’t really, but thanks for the apology."

"I know, and you’re welcome." Silence. Dirk left to go to the bathroom. Immediately, Roxy got a text.

 

**the best cuz eva <3333**

Use this opportunity to ask about how I fucked up.

**Me**

i doubt you did anything wrong, but i gotchu ;)

 

"So, Danny, why do you look like a kicked puppy?"

"I do?"

"Yeah, a little."

"W-Well, lately, w-when I’we been smilin around Dirk, he looks aw-way like I’we burned him. Same w-with parts of the chat w-we had. He’d all the sudden w-whip his head aw-way from me like I’we hurt him, and it’s makin me feel aw-wful. I think he might be mad at me or somethin." _no wonder dirky thinks hes said something wrong! eridans been feelin like this for at least a day. poor danny._

"I can almost guarantee it’s not for that reason, though I can’t tell you the real one."

"W-Why not?"  
"Betrayal of Dirk’s trust."

"Oh."

After a brief silence, Roxy asked, "Where were you at lunch today? Dirk and I never saw you."

"Oh, I had some… business I had to attend to." _that sounds suspicious as hell, but if i prod itd be rude. damn_

 

**the best cuz eva <3333**

So, what did I say?

**Me**

u may have done smth, but it wasnt smth u said

**the best cuz eva <3333**

What did I do?

**Me**

u accidentally got danny to think ur mad at him :/

he said whenever she smiled at u, u turned away like it hurt u

so she assumed it was bc u were mad 

rather than it bein u didnt want her to see u were blushin ;) 

and he just had to do smth durin lunch, that had nothin to do w/ u

**the best cuz eva <3333**

Oh.

Well, I suppose I did jump to a conclusion.

I can understand why she’d think I was upset at him.

And I guess I was being paranoid when it came to the lunch thing.  
I really did overthink this one.

Fuck.

**Me**

d strider, i promise that bc of the shit earlier, it was a p decent assumption

he looked so sad earlier, it woulda been hard not to think u fucked up

**the best cuz eva <3333**

Yeah, I suppose so.

Thanks.

Anyway, I’m coming back.

**Me**

dont forget to ask where she was at lunch, seein as u shouldnt kno

**the best cuz eva <3333**

You’re a smart one, Ro-Lal.

**Me**

i try ;)

 

Roxy put her phone away, and looked at Eridan. He had eaten almost everything, with just a few bites of her burger left and the lemonade was still mostly full, but Roxy knew that was because John had refilled their drinks while she was texting Dirk. Roxy was also done. Dirk sat down about a minute later, and he looked visibly more comfortable. 

Dirk asked, "Hey, Eridan. Where were you at lunch today? We didn’t see you."

"Oh, I just had somethin I had to do. Sorry."

"No need to say sorry, I was just curious." Roxy asked John if they had any to-go cups, seeing as her hot chocolate had gotten pretty neglected due to Dirk being gone for most of it. John returned with a styrofoam cup, and Roxy poured her hot cocoa in. Dirk quickly finished eating, and they left. At the door, both Eridan and Dirk reached for the doorknob, and their hands brushed against each other. They blushed, and Roxy took a sip of her hot chocolate. If she was lucky, it would be empty by the time they got home. To add some fun, she decided that on the way, she was going to trip Eridan and hope that somehow Dirk caught him, and that if she succeeded, that was two large gulps from her drink.

-

They were walking home, and Eridan felt rather embarrassed after something Roxy had said made him think of _other_ things. That’s when he tripped on seemingly nothing, and she felt arms wrap around him, his hands flailed for a second, hitting something, and she ended up being dipped by her savior. He hadn’t noticed, but his eyes had closed in the panic. When they opened, she was staring directly into Dirk’s orange eyes, his shades having been knocked off by her hands. Eridan almost fainted from the blood rushing to his face.Eridan saw Roxy knock back her hot cocoa, a grin on her face. Eridan immediately knew that Roxy had tripped him.

"Rox! I’m gonna kill you!"

"Why? I did nothing wrong!"  
"Oh, so I just tripped on nothin? There w-was no w-way I tripped on your foot?"

Roxy scoffed, definitely fake, and said, "How dare you accuse me of such?"

Dirk, shades now on back in front of his face, glared at her and said, "If you caused that, I’m going to help him." Roxy’s eyes widened, and she booked it. Dirk sighed™, and followed after her, Eridan trailing a little behind. Just a little™. I bet you guys missed the trademarks, because I sure did. By the time they had, one, caught up to Roxy, and two, gotten home, it was pretty late, but not late enough for Eridan to be worried about having to stay up late for homework. Roxy opened the trash can and dropped her cup in.

"W-Why’d you throw-w it out? Forget the Striders ow-wn a microw-wawe or somethin?"

Roxy grinned and said, "Nah, it was empty." Eridan was unsure why Roxy found that so amusing, but he shrugged it off as nothing. After waving farewell to his friends, he found a space that was fairly closed off from the rest of the house, and started her homework. 

-

Dirk was about to go to his room when he saw Dave, doing… something. He stepped in the room, leaning on the dresser.

"What are you doing?"

"Uh, what do you think I’m doing?"

"Well, from this point of view, it looks like you are writing some kind of elaborate love note to someone that may or may not be Karkat."

"Interestingly enough, it’s not." Dirk raised an eyebrow. "I’ve learned some shit, and so I’ve decided to write a hilariously awful love note to Sollux Captor."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Well…" Dave rubbed the back of his neck. "Apparently Sollux has a bit of a crush on me, or something."

"Do you reciprocate? Because I thought you and Karkat were more or less a thing."

"One, we are not. Two, kinda? Not yet, but I plan to?" Dave looked a tad pink.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Karkat and I are not a thing, though I still like him. A lot. And I know that Karkat has some…" Dave visibly got redder and he swallowed. "plans. They include Sollux and I, and apparently Sollux has been interested for about as long as Karkat has, and I kinda am too." 

"Are you talking about an explicitly sexual experience or?" Dave went from red to maroon.

"NO. No. But…" Dave got a tad less red and he sighed. "I’m not one hundred percent sure, but I do think it would be a polyamorous relationship. But, there’s some shit Karkat, Sollux, and I need to… overcome before that can happen."

"I see."

"Yeah." Dirk turned to leave when he saw Dave’s sketchbook out on the bed. It was open to a wonderfully done drawing of Karkat.

As a werewolf.

Coincidence? Did Dave know? Dirk decided to ask, but with subtlety. "Hey, what’s this?" He gestured to the piece.

"Hm? Oh, that’s my art homework. I had to draw what I saw, but change it a tad."

"May I take a picture of it? It’s quite lovely."

"Knock yourself out." Dirk pulled out his phone, took a photo, then went into his room to ponder.

-

It took quite a while, but due to the fact Fae have less homework so they can do their jobs properly, it was nothing that the average student couldn’t accomplish in a couple hours. At that point, it was around 9:30, so Eridan decided to go out in the trees and look at the stars. While it was nowhere near as lovely as it could be if you got away from light pollution, the town they lived in, Genesis Rana, was quite small, and that made the stars more visible than they would be, say, if you lived in Skaia, a city that was not far off from the little forest town. After about 15 minutes of stargazing and thinking about nothing in particular, Dirk opened the window next to his room. Eridan turned his head, and the two made eye contact.

"May I join you?"

"If you w-wish." _not like im in charge of wwhether you do stuff_ Dirk climbed out into the tree and sat down next to Eridan, barely not touching him.

Dirk looked up and said, "So, are we stargazing?"

"Don’t know-w w-what the fuck you’re plannin on doin, but that’s w-what I’m doin."

"Visibility is rather low for looking at the stars, isn’t it?"

"Suggestion. Take off your fuckin shades."

"Oh. Right." Dirk took of his shades and hooked them on the ridge of his shirt. It made the collar pull down a bit. Eridan tried not to stare. She really did.

"Can you see the stars now-w?"

"Well, while I still stand by my statement of visibility not being great, taking off my shades made a large improvement."

"If it didn’t, I’d be w-worried." Dirk blew air through his nose really quickly, and Eridan softly smiled. Not the best way to describe the half laugh, but there isn’t really a word for that, so I have to describe it like that. I wish I didn’t, but I can’t make up words.

"Do you know any constellations?"

"Uh, w-well, if you look directly up, there’s Taurus, Cancer, and Gemini. That’s Ursa Major ower there. That’s Aries. And that’s Orion." Eridan pointed to the stars as he went along, and Dirk looked at where he was pointing. "That’s all I know-w, but there’s definitely a lot more constellations then w-what I’m pointin out."

"No shit."

"Oh, so you know-w all the constellations in the sky then?" Silence. "I thought so, asshole."

"I have an app on my phone that has all of them. Would you like to join me?" 

"Seein as you have kinda blocked the only w-way off the branch, I kinda hawe to unless I w-wanna stare at a tree or do some tree-climbin, w-which I don’t." Dirk rolled his eyes. Eridan watched as Dirk pulled out his phone and opened to an app called The Night Sky. After loading and calibrating, it showed the night sky, pun unintended but proud it happened nonetheless, and all the constellations in lovely detail and better visibility than one would achieve on a tree branch in a random backyard in a little town. Dirk showed how, by pressing on a constellation or star, the app would provide information on whatever you wanted. Another feature the app had was allowing you to see the constellations below the horizon. One in particular was quite interesting.

"Eridanus, the river."

"Uh, yeah, my namesake, I guess."

"You’re an Aquarius, right?" Eridan nodded. "Well, funnily enough, Eridanus is supposed to be the river that comes out of Aquarius’ cup. Quite a literal namesake." Eridan shrugged.

"Betcha my dad just didn’t giwe half a shit and saw-w the name 'Eridanus' and decided to name his kid after it."

"I don’t disagree." Eridan sighed. Her dad had always been a bit of a mess, so hearing that his father named her after a constellation made a lot of sense. Just as he was about to complain a bit more, he noticed that Dirk and him were much closer than they had been when Dirk sat down, and that they had basically ended up pressed against each other in an effort to see Dirk’s phone. In fact, Dirk’s hand was on Eridan’s thigh. Eridan immediately felt the blood rush to his face, and she began praying that Dirk couldn’t tell, because, while his bodily functions were reacting much more than they should, Eridan was a bit touch starved and the feeling of touching someone was so much better than everyone pretended it was, or at least, it was better to her than everyone else. It was warm and comforting and everything and Eridan wanted to melt into it, but she knew that if she wanted it to continue, she had to pretend she didn’t notice. Unfortunately, Dirk seemed to notice a few moments after Eridan did. He felt Dirk tense and slowly felt Dirk move his hand away. Eridan was about to move away completely, but then he felt Dirk’s hand around his waist. Eridan took in a silent, but shaky breath. He felt a knot of nerves in her chest tighten. She glanced at Dirk, and saw that Dirk looked indifferent. That is, until Dirk turned his head slightly, and Eridan saw red dusting along his cheeks. _wwait wwhy is he nervvous too is it because he doesnt wwant me to notice or recoil? oh shit wwhat if he feels the same OH SHIT_ Eridan didn’t know what to do other than turn her head towards Dirk. Dirk did the same, looking Eridan in the eyes, orange and violet, almost glowing in the low light. That’s when Eridan heard a whisper, barely even that. "Can I kiss you?"

"Y-Yeah." With that, Dirk gave Eridan a soft smile before kissing him, gently, softly, and Eridan gave back just as soft, trying her best not to just melt into it and fall off the branch. It was sweet, warm, and Eridan was sure somehow this was all a huge lie. A giant prank. That there was someone watching, waiting to mess this up, because it was too perfect. But that thing never came. Eridan felt Dirk’s arm around her waist tighten, and his other arm came up behind her head. Now, I don't know if you know this, but making out while sitting on a tree branch is very difficult and quite uncomfortable. Eridan tried his best to do something with his arms that made sense, but couldn’t really come up with anything that wouldn’t make her fall, so she decided to just keep the balance. Once that moment that seemed to last forever and yet not for long enough ended, Dirk pulled back so that they were still an inch apart, and Eridan could feel the heat radiating off of Dirk’s face. Both of them were bright red, and breathing a little hard. Eridan said, "That w-was—"

"Yeah." That’s when Eridan realized something.

Had someone saw them, heard them, anything, Eridan was _dead._ "Dirk?"

"Yes?"

"Don’t tell anyone about this. NOT—" Eridan had seen the hurt on Dirk’s face when he finished the first sentence. "—because I didn’t like it, because, holy fuck, I did, but because there are certain people that w-would hawe me killed if they found out." Dirk’s eyebrows rose.

"You’re serious?"

"I w-wish I w-wasn’t."

"Oh."

"Yeah." 

After a few seconds of silence, Dirk said, "We should probably get off this branch." Eridan nodded, and they climbed into Dirk’s room, with Dirk shutting the window and blinds behind him. It was silent for a moment, before Dirk asked, "Do you want to…" Dirk’s face got red. "Make out some more once I’ve made sure no one can see?"

Eridan answered, "Fuck yes," before he was even done thinking about it. Eridan reddened, and Dirk’s eyes lit up as he practically sprinted to shut the door, lock it, and make sure all the windows in his room were closed and blocked off visually. When he was done, he just kinda stood there awkwardly, Eridan feeling about the same. "So, uh, how-w are w-we plannin on startin this?" Dirk just laughed.

"Fuck if I know." 

Eridan was laughing a little at this point, so, between giggles, he said, "Same." The boy and the genderfluid faerie laughed for a while, just enjoying the fact that it wasn’t stiff, even though Eridan knew that it probably would become that way soon, depending on if he decided to avoid Dirk or continue on being flustered in his presence, especially since now his subconscious would make him remember exactly what happened at the worst times, but for now, he just got to laugh. Dirk eventually calmed down, and while Eridan was still giggling a little, they just began to kiss, soft and sweet. Dirk had his hands around Eridan’s hips, which Eridan was grateful for, seeing as anything above the waist would be his wings. Eridan’s hands were around Dirk’s neck. They were both smiling into the kiss, and Eridan just kept thinking _this is the best day evver_ as Dirk began to soften, until the kiss became deeper. Eventually, Eridan had the thought that _maybe_ just maybe, he should open his mouth a bit, and when Dirk’s tongue slipped in, Eridan decided that that had been her best decision yet. Eridan was about to melt from bliss when she remembered something he had read in one of Karkat’s romance novels. Eridan pressed his own tongue to the roof of Dirk’s mouth and when Dirk moaned, Eridan’s knees almost buckled from how hot the sound was. Dirk smirked and tried it on Eridan, which made Eridan’s brain stutter for a second. Eridan moaned a little and Dirk’s smirk turned into a full blown smile, which, although it made kissing more of a simple thing, made Eridan’s stomach flip a bit, because holy shit that smile was even better when it was pressed against her mouth. After making out for who knows how long, they broke apart, just breathing near each other.

"Hey, Eridan?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I may have a bit of a crush on you." Eridan laughed, and she couldn’t help but notice the way the smile on her face made Dirk’s widen.

"No shit, Sherlock." After the laughing died down a bit, Eridan said, "Hey, Dirk?"

"Yeah?"

"I’we had a crush on you for three years." Dirk’s eyes widened, but there was only surprise, not hurt or fear. "Yeah, I know-w. Long time."

"Yeah, to go with out dying."

"W-What?"

"Eridan, I’ve had a crush on you for about a week. Possibly even a couple of days. And, guess what? It was killing me from the inside. You’ve had one on me for years. That’s A. Quite impressive, and B. Probably not just a crush."

"Gee, how-w could you tell?" 

"Probably the way you kissed me so happily for like half an hour." Immediately Eridan flushed and shuddered, but luckily, Dirk wasn’t without some red among his slightly tanned skin, especially since he had chosen to whisper that statement in Eridan’s ear.

"I—" Eridan couldn’t even finish the sentence. He was so overwhelmingly happy, but also scared, and a little worried. "Fuck, Dirk, I can’t ewen woice my thoughts." Dirk rubbed a hand up and down Eridan’s back, getting close to, but never touching, her wings, something she was grateful for. "I’m so happy, trust me, I could cry tears a joy right now-w. But because of… somethin, I can’t ewen admit I hawe a crush on you to more than nine people, you included, or I’ll be fuckin killed."

"Why?" Eridan felt guilty for not being able to tell Dirk, especially since they just made out for quite a while, but she didn’t want to endanger Dirk any further.

"I can’t tell you. Yet. But I w-will w-when this blow-ws ower."

"Hey, there’s a chance I know more than you think."

"Yeah, I suspected as much, seein as Rox hinted at the same."

"Did she?"

"Yeah, w-when she w-was pullin me through the mall the other day."

"Huh." At this point, the two were sitting on Dirk’s bed. Eridan tried not to think of the implications. He really did™. I know, another trademark. I’m just that nice. Instead of lingering on those thoughts, because that would lead into some territory we aren’t going to cover just yet, like a few more paragraphs and then whaddya know, Eridan flopped down onto Dirk’s bed.

Poking Dirk in the side playfully, she said, "Diiiirk, why are you so hooooot?" A pale eyebrow lifted above Dirk’s shades, which he had placed back on his face, much to Eridan’s chagrin. "If you w-weren’t, then this wouldn’t ewen be an issue. So whyyyyyy?"

"It’s a curse that we share, seeing as you are also very—" Dirk leaned down and whispered in Eridan’s ear, "—attractive." There was a subtle rolling of the 'r' that almost made it sound like a purr, and Eridan was feeling hot and needy because of it.

"Dick."

"I think you mean Dirk."

"Naw-w, I mean Dick."

"Fair enough, seeing as mine’s definitely not one to laugh at when it comes to size." Eridan flushed. It was hard, pun once again not intended but entirely coincidental and I’m going to keep it because I’m proud of it nonetheless, enough with the connotations of sitting on one’s bed, but talking about Dirk’s dick was making it oh so much worse. Another part was, well, Eridan was quite the virgin, and although she had experimented with one part, the other part had definitely gotten neglected and so she had nothing to compare it to. The thought that Dirk might be there for that experience was not helping the not-so-uncomfortable pressure downstairs. Especially since, well, as luck would have it, Eridan had accidentally seen the human sex ed stuff instead of the Fae one, and Eridan had never worked up the courage to ask anyone anything. He knew the basics, seeing as if you didn’t, you probably had never interacted with a peer, but he had no clue about anything other than that. So, while Eridan was well familiarized with what was average and what wasn’t for what Dirk was packing, Eridan had no clue if humans and Fae should even be compared when it came to size. She doubted any of her peers did either, seeing as a relationship between the two species was forbidden.

That’s when Eridan realized that all of this thought about penises was making that pressure a lot hotter, a lot harder, pun not intended I swear, to ignore, and a lot stronger. And, well wouldn’t you know, Dirk seemed to notice.

"Hey, uh, Eri? Is that what I think it is?"

"If you mean my wersion of a boner, then yes."

"Why does it look so…"

"I’m not entirely sure, seein as I ended up seeing the w-wrong sex ed wideo, so I know-w as much as you do. I'm guessin it's normal, but-" Eridan shrugged.

"Shit."

"Yeah."

"Ever thought about asking someone else?"  
"I w-would, except Kar w-would probably take it somew-where I don’t w-want it to go, Sol w-would end up tellin me my teeth are supposed to be erogenous zones, and Kan would try a hands-on demonstration. I'm too scared to ask anyone else."

"I wish you were lying."

"Me too." After a few seconds of silence, Eridan checked the time, 10:45, and decided that it was best for her to go to sleep fairly soon. She got up, changed in the bathroom, and got into her sleeping bag. It wasn’t long before sleep dragged him under.

-

_You are alone. It’s dark, cold, and the entire world seems to have melted together, with the Land of Wrath and Angels to your left, the Land of Pulse and Haze to your right, and some shitty park directly in front. It’s been an eternity, and you haven’t aged a bit. Figures, seeing as you're dead. It’s been sweeps since you’ve seen another being. You’re just about ready to make sure you never have to ever again._

_Just as you were going to try and see if the rivers of blood could cause double death within a ghost, you hear a noise. You turn, and you see a human. This is the first time you’ve seen this one, and he looks alive. That, or he doesn’t know he’s dead yet. Or, he could be dead. It’s hard to tell, as he’s wearing these weird pointy shades. But something tells you he’s dreaming. You know you can’t talk to him. Who would ever talk to the lowlife that killed two people. Especially considering the entire plan was to get yourself killed in the first place, but no, you had to murder before you could go off on your suicide mission. The human waves. You wave. You're not sure why, but the human begins to follow you. Hopefully he’ll disappear in a while._

_-_

_When the human woke up, you were sad, but this had to happen eventually, so it wasn’t that big of a deal._

_-_

_After a indescribable amount of time, the pointy shaded human, Dirk, returned. You suspected it was not the same one, but somehow, it was, except this time, he was dead. Glitched himself out of existence, apparently. Now, you ask how that didn’t rid him of a ghost. He shrugs._

_-_

_The human, even after what seems to be forever, follows you wherever you go. You ask him to leave you alone a lot. He never listens._

_-_

_One day, or whatever the fuck it is, you ask Dirk why he follows you. He says he has two answers. The one he gives you now is that he has no where else to be, so might as well stick around you. He says he’ll tell you the other one later. He asks you why you never attack him when you ask for him to leave you alone. You say because you couldn’t bear the thought of hurting anyone else ever again. He nods, saying he understands, but you doubt he does._

_-_

_He asks you why you don’t want to hurt people. You tell him your story, expecting him to run away in fear or look at you with disgust. Instead, he looks at you, blankly, before saying that that’s not the worse than what he’s done. You ask him what he’s done. He tells you that other versions of himself have abused a child to the point of making the child hate the sound of metal hitting metal and the sight of blood. That the child would seize up now and not be able to think coherent thoughts. That another version of himself and the one he is bullied someone into dating him. You stare at him, saying that as long as he wouldn’t do it himself, what does it matter that his other self did it. He says it’s because he could’ve become that person. You say that he should take pride in knowing that while he could’ve become those people, he didn’t, and that means he’s both stronger and better than them. And that if he did, acknowledging that you fucked up shows that you know that your actions affect others. Dirk stares at you, saying that he never thought of it that way before. You nod, and say that you regret what you did. He says that he understands regret._

_-_

_You hear him whisper his second reason, barely, under his breath. He says that it was because you seemed to be the kind of person that wouldn’t judge you for what he’s done. You ask how he would know. He seems startled that you heard him, but he replies that an emptiness in your eyes was a direct reflection of his own, even though, when you first met, he was alive, and you were dead. You ask why he looked surprised you heard him. He says it was because he had said it every time you had been just out of earshot since you had told him your story. You say that he’s a bad judge of earshot, seeing as you just heard. He laughs at that, and your heart feels strange. If it’s flushed feelings, you hope you don’t fuck it up like usual._

_-_

_You freaked out today. He was still and it made freaking out feel so much more normal. You’re definitely flushed, but he would make a great moirail._

_-_

_Your horns got caught in a tree today. He laughed, helped you, then kissed you. You remember what it felt to be happy._

_-_

_Dying a double death isn’t as hard when your holding hands with your matesprit. Still hurts like hell._

_-_

Eridan woke up, and for the first time since that fateful day when he fell asleep on Dirk’s windowsill, it’s not from nightmares. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to tumblr user nusaza for being 1. a great artist 2. one of the nicest people ever 3. a huge help emotionally  
> check them out their art its p fuckin rad B>


	12. Apparently If the Characters Aren't Eating, What They're Doing is Unimportant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave learns as much as he needs to know about Fae culture. Dirk tells people about the fact he kissed Eridan, despite the fact Eridan warned him it could cost her her life. Lunch happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all!!! 3 things  
> 1\. more ocs of mine show up!!!!!!!!! sorry but i love my fantrolls too much to not include them  
> 2\. sorry for taking so long on this one!!! a lot of stuff came up and i didn't have as much time to write :/  
> 3\. sorry it's short!! i want to keep the meeting until next chapter and it was the next thing i needed to write so this one ended up being a little shorter than i would like

Dave woke up at 3:30. He groaned, slipped on his shades, and turned off his alarm. He had gone to bed fairly early, considering he knew he was going to wake up this early, but he still had a headache from the lack of sleep. He quickly got dressed, knowing that the only thing that would save him from the pain behind his eyes was coffee. He packed up his backpack, making sure the love note for Sollux was safe. He trudged to the kitchen. Dave turned on the lights, not expecting to find Eridan, in what he could only call leafy clothes, eating fruit. These clothes did not hide Eridan’s wings. Eridan turned towards him, looking like a deer that had been caught in headlights.

"'Sup," Dave said.

"Hi," said Eridan.

"What the everloving fuck are you doing up at 3:42 in the morning?"

"W-Well, you see, I don’t w-want Dirk to see my w-wings, and I can’t sleep w-while my w-wings are crumpled and folded and shit, so in order to be sure he doesn’t see them, I w-wake up early."

"Yikes."

"I’m used to it. Had to do the same thing to awoid my dad and Cro."

"Double yikes." After a beat of silence, Dave continued, "Anyways, I gotta meet up with Karkat soon. He’s gonna explain everything about the Fae ’n shit, and I need coffee."

"There’s a really good coffee shop that’s mainly run by a half-fae. It’s the Green Sun Cafe. It opens at 5."

"Really? Shit. Do you think Karkat would mind if our meeting was there? Or at least if we go after an hour?"

"No, he goes there fairly often. In fact, that’s w-where I w-will be spendin my mornin."

"Alright, well, I’ll see you there, probably."

"Yeah." Eridan returned to eating fruit. Dave pulled on a sweatshirt, through his backpack over his shoulder, and headed towards the park. It was still dark, and through his shades, he had trouble seeing much, but like hell would he ever take them off. After about 15 minutes of walking to the park, he saw the same table that they had occupied the previous day was taken by Karkat. A small smile graced Dave’s face as he walked towards the table. Karkat looked up once Dave had gotten close, and Dave saw his smile reflected on Karkat’s face. 

"Hey, Karkles."

"HI, DAVE." Karkat stood up and Dave bent his knees a tad, leaning down to kiss Karkat. It was short and sweet, with Karkat breaking it and almost immediately going into an explanation. "OK, SO—" Dave grinned. "—WHAT?"

"It’s just, that’s such a Karkat thing to do. Kiss me and then immediately start talking a mile a minute." Splotches rose to Karkat’s face, barely visible in the night. It only made Dave smile more.

"SHUT UP. ANYWAY—"

"Wait, I was wondering if we could go get coffee and talk there."

"SURE. COME ON, I KNOW A SAFE PLACE TO TALK ABOUT THIS THAT SERVES COFFEE." Karkat stood up, wavered for a sec, then started walking. Dave followed him, wondering what made Karkat hesitate for that moment. It was virtually silent during the walk from the park to the 'safe place', which Dave was pleased to find was the Green Sun Cafe. It was closed, seeing as it was only 4:32. 

"Dude, you shoulda told me we were going here. I coulda told you it opens at 5."

"FUCK, OKAY. WE’VE GOT ABOUT HALF AN HOUR—"

"27 minutes and 22 seconds. 21, 20—"

"STOP IT WITH THE CREEPY TIME BULLSHIT. I GET ENOUGH OF THAT FROM ARADIA AND DAMARA. AND MISS MEGIDO. ANYWAY, WE COULD JUST WAIT OUT HERE."

"Sure." Karkat sat down on the ground. Dave slid down next to him. 

"ALRIGHT, I GUESS I’LL START WITH THE GENERAL RULES THAT WE THOUGHT WERE UNIVERSAL. WE’RE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE ANY KIND OF RELATIONSHIP, UNLESS STRICTLY PLATONIC, WITH A HUMAN. WE’RE ALL ASSIGNED A HUMAN TO WATCH OVER. NO USING MAGIC NEAR HUMANS. NO LETTING A HUMAN KNOW YOU’RE A FAERIE. THAT’S ABOUT IT, I THINK. I THINK THE HALF-FAE THAT WORKS HERE COULD DESCRIBE WHAT MOST COLONIES ARE LIKE BETTER THAN I COULD. A COLONY IS A FAERIE SETTLEMENT, BY THE WAY. ANYWAY, NOW FOR FAERIE BIOLOGY. MOST OF IT’S THE SAME, BUT WE DON’T HAVE GENDERS. I MEAN, SOME FAERIES END UP WITH 'BREASTS', BUT THAT’S THE ONLY THING THAT COULD POSSIBLY DIFFERENTIATE US, AND SINCE THEY’RE EFFECTIVELY USELESS, WE DON’T PAY THEM ANY ATTENTION. WE ALL HAVE THE SAME GENITALS. A NOOK AND A BULGE. I WOULD RATHER LEAVE THE REST OF THAT FOR A LATER TIME FOR FAIRLY OBVIOUS REASONS.

"OF COURSE, WE HAVE WINGS. ALL YOUNG FAERIES GET WINGS LIKE THE ONES I HAVE, AND WHEN WE REACH MATURITY, WE GO THROUGH A TRANSFORMATION THAT GIVES US BUTTERFLY-LIKE WINGS. WE SHARE THE SAME EYE COLOR AS OUR WING COLOR. OUR HIERARCHY IS BASED AROUND WING COLOR. IT GOES, BOTTOM TO TOP, RUST, BROWN, YELLOW, LIME, OLIVE, JADE, TEAL, CERULEAN, INDIGO, PURPLE, VIOLET, AND FUSCHIA. LIME-WINGS HAVE ALL DIED OUT. THERE ARE SIX MUTANTS LIVING CURRENTLY. MY FAMILY IS THREE, SEEING AS WE HAVE BRIGHT RED WINGS, SO WE’RE ALBINO-WINGS. TAVROS’ FAMILY IS THE OTHER THREE, SEEING AS RUFIOH AND SAMUEL, THEIR FATHER, HAVE FEATHERED WINGS, LIKE BIRDS, FOR SOME FUCKING REASON. TAVROS WAS BORN WITHOUT WINGS. THEY STILL HAVE A CASTE, THOUGH, BECAUSE THEY HAVE BROWN EYES. THE VANTASES DO NOT, OUR EYES ARE TOO BRIGHT TO BE RUST. APPARENTLY, WE WOULD’VE BEEN LIME-WINGS, BUT MUTATION IS GENETIC’S FAVORITE PLAYTHING, SO WE ARE ALBINO-WINGS. FUCKING FIGURES." Dave just watched Karkat go on and on about his culture, enamored with how fond yet annoyed with it Karkat was. After 27 minutes and 4 seconds of Karkat’s explanation, Dave saw the lights turn on and 15 seconds later he heard the door unlock. Someone opened the door and turned to them.

"Why, hello! I hope you two haven’t been waiting there long!"

"Just 27 minutes and 28 seconds," said Dave. An interesting emotion flashed through the stranger’s eyes. 

"Well, come in!" Karkat took no time in practically breaking down the door and ordering a medium black coffee. Dave ordered a large black coffee with room for cream and sugar. After paying, Dave went over and added cream and half a packet of sugar. Karkat eyed the half-used packet.

"You wanna use this?"

After a beat or two of silence, Karkat reluctantly answered, "YES." Karkat practically ripped the sugar out of Dave’s hand, pouring it in his coffee, then ripped open another packet and poured it in. The two boys stirred their coffee, sitting down near the front of the shop. Just as the boys sat down, Eridan entered. Dave watched as the barista enthusiastically greeted Eridan and automatically wrung up what Dave assumed was Eridan’s usual order. Eridan paid, and Dave watched as the barista made two things, one that they started sipping on, the other given to Eridan. Eridan said something, then the barista hopped over the counter and practically skipped over to where Karkat and Dave were sitting.

"Hi! I’m Vapor Magnec!"

"I’m Dave." The same emotion from earlier flashed in Vapor’s eyes.

"MY NAME IS KARKAT VANTAS."

"So! I hear that you," gesturing to Karkat, "are Fae, and you," gesturing to Dave, "are human." Both Dave and Karkat nodded. "Well, I’m half-fae, half-human! I’m here to help explain what most colonies are like! First, the difference between peaceful and trickster colonies." As Vapor explained everything, everyone took little sips of their coffee until it was empty. Everything seemed to be old news to Eridan and Karkat until Vapor said something Dave found interesting as well. "Trickster colonies tend to be a bit wilder with its inhabitants, too. They tend to have more colors on their person, and I’ve found that tricksters like sweets and are much louder."

"That’s new-w." Eridan looked displeased.

"Oh. My bad for not saying everything last time! I bet there will be more things that are new later on." Vapor kept on talking, always looking at Dave with an interesting gleam in their eyes. After a bit more information, another thing seemed to catch Karkat and Eridan’s attention. "When it comes to fae-human relationships, you can have two types of kids in the first generation, and what you get depends on which parent is a faerie. If the faerie births the child, the child will get wings and magic, but nothing else Fae-like. If the human births the child, the child will get pointed pupils, elongated canines, and pointed ears. As the generations continue, you get more mixxxes of features, but! Whoever births the child, if they have wings and magic, the child will get wings and magic, due to the fact that the wombs of Fae automatically imbue the child with magic and give them the ability to metamorphose wings, and give them the ability to pass those abilities further down."

"HUH."

"Is that new information, too? Fuck, my bad for not telling you everything last time."

"It’s alright, Wap. You didn’t remember ewerythin because you didn’t realize you needed to tell me ewerythin."

"Still, I feel bad." Dave saw Vapor’s nails tap on the cup they were holding. It was very methodic, almost like a ticking clock. It never missed a beat. Vapor seemed to notice Dave noticed their tapping, and a slight smirk graced their face. Then, two people walked into the shop. Vapor’s eyes lit up. "Ternag! Enomut! I thought you two weren’t coming for another week!" Vapor jumped up and hugged the newcomers.

"Yes, well, we were going to come next week, but, we had the time to come earlier than planned, and we opted to arrive early!" the shorter of the two said. The taller just nodded.

"Ternag, Enomut, this is Dave, Eridan, and Karkat!" Vapor said, pointing to the person as they said their name. "Dave, Eridan, Karkat, this is Ternag and Enomut!" Vapor pointed to the small one, then the tall. "Eridan and Karkat are Fae. Dave is human. Ternag and Enomut are both half-fae, like me!"

"Ah! So this is a peaceful colony!" the shorter exclaimed.

"Actually, it’s kinda weird. I’ll have to explain it to you later, but don’t show off any of your non-human aspects if you can."

"Wilco!" the shorter avowed. _what the fuck does wilco mean??? i mean im guessing its some kind of affirmation judging by the tone but what the fuck???_

The taller one spoke for the first time, almost muttering, "It’s good to see you, Jade-wing."

"Oh, hush, Enomut! You know you don’t need to pretend around me."

"Oh, alright. It’s good to see you, Vapor," Dave both saw and heard the warmth Enomut held for the barista. It was obvious they had been friends for a long time.

"It’s good to see you, too, you big nerd. And you two, fancypants."

"Magnectia, I’m glad you like them. You know who made them, seeing as his handiwork is all I ever wear."

"Nice craftsmanship, Enomut! This embroidery is some of your finest, like usual!" The slightest amount of red was detectable on the tall newcomer’s face. A soft smile graced his features.

Quietly, almost in a monotone, "Oh, hush, you are definitely embellishing my work," said Enomut.

"Now, now, you know that embellishment of your crafts is always rightful," Ternag said. Enomut’s smile grew a bit.

"Indeed, they are. Anywho, do you two know when the others are gonna arrive?" Vapor looked hopeful.

The shorter answered, "They should surface on the dot!" Dave had noticed the shorter had a habit of using words that technically were synonyms for what he should say, but often were just strange to use.

The grin that Vapor was wider than should be possible as they said, "I’m so exxxcited to see everyone again!"

"They’re all galvanized to distinguish you, too."

"Who’s realizzzed their love since I’ve seen them?"  
The taller responded, "The rust-wing and the lime-wing are still too nervous to talk to each other. The bronze-wing is still trying to get the teal-wing to notice him. The fuschia-wing is still going after the violet-wing. So, no one, really."

"Ugh, everyone just needs to listen to me! Brinea and Kraela need to date, Raesum needs to abandon Trysst like it’s his job, and Skyrra needs to do the same with Bacute. I forget not all of our friends are 'good' people."

"Nostalgia will do that to one, Magnectia," Ternag said.

"WAIT, DID YOU SAY LIME-WING?" Enomut nodded. "I THOUGHT LIME-WINGS WERE EXTINCT!"

"Oh! There're no lime-wings here?"

"THE ONLY 'LIME-WINGS' WE HAVE MUTATED AND BECAME ALBINO-WINGS." Karkat looked annoyed.

"Huh. Let me guess, you’re an albino-wing?" Vapor had a familiar glint in their eyes, and it was beginning to piss Dave off. 

"YES. HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY EVERY FUCKING TELL? WAS IT MY RED EYES? THE WHITE ROOTS TO MY HAIR? HOW FUCKING PISSED OFF MY LAST STATEMENT WAS?"

"Oh, hush, Karkat." Vapor gave Karkat a pat on the head like a parent would to their children. It shut him up. "Now, Enomut, Ternag, I would like to address your huge suitcases! You’re only visiting for two weeks! Why does it look like you’ve packed all your clothes and more?" Dave looked at their suitcases. They were definitely overpacked even if it was for two weeks.

"Well, it was intended to be a revelation, but…" Ternag began. "Everyone’s moving down here!"

"What?! Oh em gee! I- Y’all didn’t need to do that!"

Enomut said, "We wanted to. Plus, all of our families were about to kick us out anyway, so we decided it would be best to join you and Nerria down here."

"And! Because of the little revolution thingy Eridan and his friends are planning, we can live in a colony! We can help, too! Oh, this is just exxxtremely amazzzing! Best. Surprise. Ever." Vapor hugged their friends. Dave realized it was getting towards the time Dirk would wake up, and he had a feeling that Eridan would want to be there when it happened. So, Dave spoke up.

"Hey, I’m glad that y’all reunited and shit, but, I gotta go. It’s almost dawn, and I didn’t eat anything for breakfast."

"Oh, right! Eri, I’ll make the other thing you got." Vapor ran and jumped over the counter, made something, then handed it to Eridan. Vapor waved as Dave, Karkat, and Eridan left towards Dave’s house. It was quiet on the way over, so Dave offered to share earbuds with Karkat, who agreed, and they listened to Dave’s mixes, despite the fact that they were the shitpostiest things Dave had made so far. There were a few good ones in there, like the ones that included his friends instruments, but they were buried. Dave could tell Karkat was upset they weren’t listening to the real shit, but Karkat was too stubborn to change the song, a fact Dave was feeling quite smug over. Once the arrived, Eridan dipped away towards Dirk’s room, and Dave began making bagels while Karkat ate Eridan’s fruit.

-

Eridan knocked on Dirk’s door. Dirk said to come in, and Eridan opened the door to reveal a wet Dirk with only a towel on. His hair was unstyled, and he hadn’t put on his shades yet.

If the anime nosebleed thing was real, Eridan would have fainted from blood loss. Eridan almost dropped the coffee she was holding. Dirk looked over, flushed, then said, "Fuck, ok, I thought you were Dave. Uh, is that coffee?" Eridan nodded. "You don’t need to get me coffee, you know that, right?"

"Oh, so I can’t just do somethin nice for you? Fuck you, too. I go to that cafe ewery mornin anyw-way, so w-why not be a decent bein and get you some? But no, you hawe to act like I’m a fragile person that’s isn’t doin this out of the kindness a their heart." Eridan thrust out the hand that had Dirk’s coffee, annoyance clearly written on his face. Dirk took the coffee, and Eridan folded her arms. Dirk took a sip.

"I didn’t mean it as an offense, I just meant that there was no need for you to feel an obligation to get me coffee." Eridan sighed. He had taken it too seriously.

"I don’t feel obligated or anythin, I just go there ewery mornin and since I remembered your order from last time, I thought it’d be nice to get you some right before I leawe."

"Oh. I appreciate it." Dirk took another sip. It was silent for a bit, so Eridan turned to leave, not wanting to impose on Dirk’s privacy for any longer, when he felt a hand on his wrist. She turned and immediately felt that same hand pulling him and ended up with Dirk kissing him. It was brief, and once Dirk pulled away, Eridan was left tasting extremely bitter coffee. "Thank you for the coffee." Eridan flushed, nodded, and walked out of the room, heart racing. It upset her that Dirk could make her go from one emotion to the next so quickly, but like hell if he didn’t also find it kind of exhilarating and nice. Once his pulse had calmed down, she walked outside, deciding that waiting for Dirk would just make the walk to school awkward. 

-

Dirk pulled on a shirt and glanced up to see Eridan walking towards the school. While he was slightly disappointed, he had wanted to talk to Roxy anyway, and if Eridan had been with them, Dirk wouldn’t have been able to talk about the topics he wanted to. Grabbing his coffee, Dirk walked into the kitchen where Karkat and Dave were sitting, Dave eating a bagel and Karkat eating fruit. Dirk quickly put his coffee in the microwave and, copying his younger brother, put a bagel in the toaster. As he turned to lean on the counter until one of his things was done warming, he saw that Dave and Karkat were watching him with an emotion Dirk couldn’t decipher.

"What?"

"WHY DID ERIDAN LEAVE SO FLUSTERED?"

Dirk shrugged and said, "I mean, I kissed him, but I don’t know why it affected him that much. But, don’t tell anyone. He said it was important no one knew. I trust you will comply."

"Don’t worry, his secret’s safe with us. Wait, you kissed him?"

"Yes. We also made out last night."

"Dude, don’t want to know."

"And yet, I have a feeling that this is some kind of double standard, and that if our situation were reversed, you would not hesitate to tell me you made out with Karkat and all the gritty details." Dirk saw the surprise on Karkat’s face, and guilt and shame hit him hard. He had forgotten that he wasn’t supposed to mention that. Especially, since, well, KARKAT WAS IN THE ROOM. In that exact moment, the microwave beeped. Dirk grabbed his coffee as quickly as he could. He took a sip, it was boiling, and awkwardly stared at nothing until he heard the toaster pop. He grabbed his bagel and, as quickly as possible, ran to Roxy’s house, knowing she would be leaving soon. He was about to knock on the door when Roxy opened it.

"Sup, D-Stride!"

"Not much currently. What about you?"

"Eh, just excited my brother decided to walk with me instead of his datemate." A wicked grin was plastered on Roxy’s face.

"First off, I am not your brother, though I would not be opposed to you referring to me as such and for me to refer to you as my sister. Second, she’s not my datemate. Though, I do have news that has to do with the aforementioned person."

"Oh?"

"I’ll tell you on the way." He stepped aside to allow his 'sister' to pass in front of him. She skipped down her front porch and he followed. He began to tell the story of the night previous and what had happened since he had woken up, casually sipping on his coffee until it was empty, then eating his bagel. Roxy, quietly, for once, drank in every detail.

When he was finished, she burst out, saying, "Di-Stri! You totally have a datemate!"

"I am not sure you are accurate, considering the fact she asked to keep it a secret."

"I’m sure that’s for a good reason."

"I sure hope so." Roxy squeed. 

"My brother has a datemate! And I totally called it!"

"Yes, you did." Dirk smiled fondly at his 'sister'. The rest of the walk to school was mostly playful jabs between the 'siblings'. 

-

Lunch was a thing. And Eridan was terrified. He knew that she was welcome to sit with Dirk, but it would be different now, and he wasn’t sure if how well she would do after all that had happened had happened. He took a deep breath and headed towards the table Dirk and he usually sat at. Roxy was there, and her presence was like a mother’s touch. It meant safety or at least some. Eridan placed his tray on the table. Roxy immediately stared at him, as if expecting something. A smirk was clearly displayed on her features. 

"W-What?"

"Dirk told me what happened~" Eridan flushed.

"Ah, w-what? I told him not to tell anyone. I mean, I trust you, but if he’s not careful w-who he tells…"

"You’ll be killed." Eridan nodded. "I think he’s only told me. Let’s ask when he gets here." Eridan nodded again, seeing as she had already begun to stuff fruit in her mouth. About 3 minutes later, Dirk sat down directly across from Eridan, meaning he was sitting adjacent to Roxy. Roxy immediately jumped in, asking, "Who have you told?"  
"I’m guessing you are referring to the thing I told you this morning."

"Indeed I am. Who have you told?"  
"You, Dave, and Karkat. Why?"  
Eridan responded, "Because you ended up bein lucky that you told 3 of 8 people that CAN know-w. That 8 includes me and you. 5 of the 8 people than can know-w know-w, and that’s only because you w-were lucky enough that Dawe and Kar are apart of those 8. Please don’t tell anyone else. The other 3 will be told later, so you can’t tell a single other soul, alright?"

"Sorry. I guess I wasn’t including your safety in my calculations, rather just telling those who I wanted to know."

"I forgiwe you. But from now-w on, don’t tell anyone."

"My lips are sealed." 

"Are they pressed to Danny’s?" Roxy asked, her eyebrows wiggling. The faerie and the boy flushed, Roxy giggling. "Sorry, it was just too perfect to pass up." Eridan flipped her off, which just made her laugh even more. Dirk flicked her. "Ow. Okay, okay, I get it. I’ll stop." By that point, the two had stopped blushing.

"Thank you." The two that were not Roxy responded in unison. They flushed again, with Roxy trying her best not to laugh. Eridan started eating again, trying to pretend it hadn’t happened. Dirk did the same, while Roxy tried to eat without spitting out her food. The silence was uncomfortable, but not enough for anyone to feel a need to break it. Eventually, the silence felt more natural and everyone just ate in silence. Jane came over for a while to say hi to Roxy and Dirk, Feferi trailing behind, but it did nothing to help Eridan, who felt like he was being asocial for not talking to the guy she _made out with_ 12 hours before. Once he was done with her fruit, she put her tray away and sat down, not looking anywhere in particular. He decided to pull out his sketchbook, seeing as he didn’t really have anything else to do, and just began sketching whatever came to her mind. About 5 minutes in, he turned his random lines into an idea. It was going to be two hands, clasped, one, painted nails, rings galore, and the other would be calloused and bare. But, because he had always had an affinity for gore, each hand would be severed at the wrist, blood spurting out, the hands suspended, as if it had just happened. Hands were always difficult, but she wanted to challenge herself. Just as the initial rough sketch was being finished, Eridan glanced up to find that Dirk and Roxy had been watching her draw. While embarrassed, Eridan was somewhat flattered, and to hide the fact he had glanced up, she quickly looked back down and continued working on the drawing. The bell rung not too long later, and Eridan quickly sped to his next class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't forget to leave a comment!!! it really motivates me when you do B> also talk to me about my fantrolls!!! or yours!!! i love fantrolls so fucking much!!!!!


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